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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396583">i couldn't help but fall for you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/miscrece/pseuds/miscrece'>miscrece</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i requite love [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal, Persona Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Denial of Feelings, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other, P5R Spoilers, POV First Person, Persona 5 Protagonist is from Inaba, Slow Romance, Temporarily Unrequited Love, a liiiitle bit of gore/blood its not too bad, all the phantom thieves are here, gender neutral reader, long ass story im so sorry, mentions of shiho suzui, random ex comes back for a lil bit, reader is from iwatodai, ren amamiya is joker's name, ryuann and makoharu cuz why not, there's a slight reference to suicide/self harm but u gotta squint to see it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:40:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>68,015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24396583</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/miscrece/pseuds/miscrece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>on hiatus until december most likely <br/>-<br/>Maruki first met you at a convenience store near Shujin Academy; awkward and endearing, he quickly captivated your heart. Over the course of the year, you become fast friends with the counselor as you aid him with his research and other menial chores.<br/>You waste no time in stepping into action when he truly needs your help.</p><p>[Reader written in first person]<br/>[heavy third semester spoilers]</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Maruki Takuto/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>i requite love [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1867249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. cookies and apples</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello everyone! pls ignore my old works on here they r literally garbage!</p><p>i was sad there weren't many maruki/reader fics out there, so i decided to write my own. this is gonna be very self-indulgent so im sorry in advance lol,, this will take place over the entirety of Royal, and will extend into and past the third semester.</p><p>reader is a college-aged legal adult.</p><p>EDIT: i've created a picture book for my illustrations based on scenes from this fic! the only entry contains a spoiler for the fic itself, so be careful!! <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25741090">view it here</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I feel like I’m just another cog in the wheel: always turning, never falling out of line, and it’s suffocating. Is that what I want for myself?</p><p>
  <em>Enthalpy is a thermodynamic property which describes a system’s internal energy, plus the product of its pressure and volume.</em>
</p><p>I always tell myself that it’s for the greater good. I’m providing a service to the workers and students in the Aoyama-itchōme area, and I’m getting paid for my time. Really though, the wages here are like breadcrumbs.</p><p>
  <em>Meanwhile, entropy is a thermodynamic quantity representing the unavailability of a system’s thermal energy for conversion into mechanical work.</em>
</p><p>This is what the morning rush does to me, huh? Maybe I’m just naturally pessimistic, but this job made me despise breakfast foods. Plus, I still have the God-forsaken lunch rush to get through, where the store is taken over mostly by Shujin students since, as I’ve heard, their own co-op and vending machines are always sold out. I totally understand—I did the same when I was their age—but it would be nice if I had someone to help me out with all the customers. Management always says I’m the only one available this early, though, since I have night classes and many of my colleagues are high schoolers working part-time: a perfect storm that ends with me getting struck by lightning. Sometimes I wonder if this insignificant little convenience store would still be open if I wasn’t around. Basically, I deserve a raise.</p><p>
  <em>Enthalpy and entropy may be used in tandem to find Gibbs free energy, which is a thermodynamic potential that describes the energy associated with a chemical reaction that can be used to do work.</em>
</p><p>God, I really hate chemistry.</p><p>The time in between rushes is what I usually use for studying. My routine everyday is usually the same, unless, by some lovely miracle, I don’t have to work or a professor cancels class. First is opening the store, then I head to Leblanc to study for a few hours. That little cafe has a great atmosphere for concentrating on my work and it’s close to home. Seeing that it’s tucked into the quiet backstreets of Yongen-Jaya, not many people know about it. I like to call it my chic little treasure. Of course, the great coffee is a bonus, but I’m a bit embarrassed by how much I’ve spent there. That’s a secret that absolutely cannot get out. From there, though, I head to school. It’s a bit of a commute, but I like the time I get to myself. No one bothers you on the train and you don’t particularly stand out unless you really try to. I find myself comforted by those environments. After all that, I finally go home. It’s tiring as hell, but money is money. I can’t pay the rent with my accolades.</p><p>My eyes felt strained from the textbook, so I put it away for now. There’s still little to no business aside from the occasional elderly person looking to buy cat food or pastries for their grandchildren. Truth be told, I learn a lot about people from the way they shop, especially since most of the people I get in here are sworn regulars. I know this one disgruntled-looking office worker has a daughter who loves these “homemade” chocolate chip cookies we “bake fresh” every day. Yeah, it’s just a microwave, but I’m not up for explaining that to a tired dad just looking to put a smile on his daughter’s face. There’s this guy at Shujin who buys yakisoba here a lot. I don’t know anything about him but there’s a girl who obsessively follows him. He never notices her since she’s always just barely tucked away, but I always do. It’s kind of creepy, but my bosses would probably scold me for telling him. I can already hear them droning on: “It might drive away business.”</p><p><em>And you wouldn’t have any business to run without me</em>, I want to say back.</p><p>Beyond the mundaneness of it all, there is one thing that has piqued my interest. This pervert teacher confessed to doing a whole bunch of shady shit. Apparently, this group that goes by The Phantom Thieves of Hearts forced him to confess. A few days before it all went down, I found a calling card as I was cleaning up. It was a flashy thing, but it was a little bit of thrill in my monotonous life, so I’ve treasured it. Still, I wonder how they managed to do it—was it blackmail or something sinister like that? Maybe it was just the pressure of it all. But going off my past experiences with him (he came by every so often as all the teachers do), he was pompous as hell, not to mention annoying, entitled, and belligerent. A bunch of kids were dubiously bruised, and I even heard one of the students tried to harm themselves. For the staff to not care about their students this much, the corruption must run so deep it was built into the very walls of that school. So, no matter the methods, it was more of a relief to know a predator like him no longer had access to such vulnerable victims anymore. I don’t know if the Phantom Thieves are real, but for now, I’ll cheer them on to tackle evil the police can’t get to on their own. I get vigilante justice is looked down upon by the eyes of the law, but just look at some of the heroes we champion like Batman and Robin Hood: all of them are celebrated figures.</p><p>Time seemed to pass slower than usual. I could get back to studying, but really, who wants to do that? Lunchtime was about to start anyway, so there wasn’t much of a point to start something just to have to put it down almost immediately. I reached over to the chilled bottle of water underneath the register, taking a hearty sip. The water was refreshing and crisp, but still nothing compared to Boss’s coffee in terms of how energized I felt. The coffee here tastes like watered-down water. It’s literally disgusting but people seem to love it for some reason.</p><p>Lunchtime rush, lunchtime rush, waiting, waiting. Sure, the rushes were stressful to handle on my own, but it ended with my shift. It goes without saying that having something to do made time go by faster. As these thoughts passed, I heard the quiet chime of the bell installed at our door. I didn’t particularly care to look up just yet, since I had to make sure the register and counter were prepared for the influx of business; that included restocking the candy bars and gum stationed right next to me and straightening mats and signs around me so everything up to standards.</p><p> That customer still hasn’t come up to ring yet, strangely enough. Most people usually come in with an idea of what to have for lunch in mind—an egg sandwich, bread, instant noodles, the works—but this guy was absolutely destroying himself over what snack to buy. He looked so deep in thought it was a little bit (just a tiny bit) adorable. Was he buying for someone special? a new friend he wanted to impress? did he want to try something new but just wanted to get his money’s worth? I continued to observe him for just a bit longer. I noticed he wasn’t very good with his coordination since he nearly knocked down one of the displays. Yeah, he was a cute guy; he was new though. I never saw him around before, and it’s kind of impossible for anyone living in this area for any amount of time to not come here. We’re the biggest convenience store for some distance.</p><p>For a moment, I thought maybe I should go help him, but on the other hand, I was worried that customers would come pouring in, leaving the register open. Yet another case of oh how I wish I had someone working with me right now! I snuck a glance outside and the streets seemed empty enough—and in moments like these, I realize just how much I tend to hesitate. What an annoying habit. After another peek outside, just to make sure, I slowly walked around the counter, making my way towards the man. This demeanor..! It was so warm and inviting!</p><p>“Hello, sir!” I put on my usual customer-service voice, but just with the way this man was carrying himself I truly did want to be friendly with him, “Is there anything I could help you find today?”</p><p>The man, seemingly startled by the sudden proposition, jolted slightly. He nearly dropped the small bag of cookies he was holding. “Oh, hello there! I think I’m alright actually.” He smiled as he adjusted his glasses. “Ah..! Actually, do you happen to carry apple slices or anything of the sort here?”</p><p>Apples, huh? On top of that, he specifically wanted apple slices. Did he want to surprise his kid at school or something? There were a few things I could recommend adding onto his order, in that case. A cheap plastic toy or a fruity drink, for example. “Of course, sir. Follow me, please!” As I led him to the refrigerated area of the store, I thought a bit on the character of this man. He was polite, which was always a pleasure to deal with. He was clumsy, but that could always be considered endearing—I just hope no one makes fun of him for it. Moreover, he was criminally attractive. His hair was disheveled slightly, but not messy. It was like it fell perfectly into place, pleasantly framing his face. It was evident he was older, given the stubble on his chin. Most would shave off facial hair like that, but it looked great on this guy.    </p><p>Absentmindedly, I reached for the small bag of apple slices after pulling the door of the refrigerated unit open. The cool air that promptly hit my face reminded me to suggest the items from my earlier thoughts. “Here you are, sir. May I also suggest a drink to go along with your cookies and apples?” this had to be for a kid.</p><p>“I really shouldn’t…” the man’s expression turned timid. “Ah, what the heck. Some apple juice would be great.”</p><p>I nodded as I heard the bell chime again. I was nervous now, hoping this customer would take just as long to find whatever they wanted to have for lunch. More quickly now, I brought him a carton of the juice, cool to the touch. “If you’d like to look around more, feel free to!” I smiled, “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be at the register if you don’t need any more help.”</p><p>“Right now’s great, actually! Can I follow you there?” he happily replied. I was completely satisfied: he looked happy with the service I provided. As annoying as this job could be at times, I did enjoy being able to help people like this. Moving together with him to the register, I made sure to keep an eye on the other customer. It looked like she was debating what she wanted as well, which was comforting. It gave me more time with this guy.</p><p>“I wanted to thank you for your help.” The man quickly said, almost as soon as I began ringing him up. “I was already pretty indecisive with the cookies, so having you around to help me find the apples was great. I could’ve been late to my interview…”</p><p>Oh, were these snacks for him? Apple slices and apple juice? “It was my pleasure, sir.” The interview part explained why he hadn’t been here before as well. “An interview? I wish you good luck!”</p><p>The brunette laughed quietly to himself. It was a nice, comforting laugh. “Thank you so much.” He said as he reached for his wallet in his pocket. “If all goes well, I might be a regular here. My interview is at Shujin.”</p><p>“Oh, they’re hiring?” it could’ve been to fill the spot Kamoshida left behind, but he didn’t have much of an athletic build like the former coach did. Still, it would’ve been better to not bring up something controversial. Not good for business or whatever.</p><p>He nodded curtly. “Yeah! Counselors. Er, rather, counselor. After everything that happened recently, the students must be struggling.”</p><p>I of course noticed that. I suspected Kamoshida of nefariousness early on, ever since I noticed the bruises on members of the famous volleyball team. Even though he’s gone, dealing with the experience of it all is another thing entirely. “I’m sure the students will appreciate your help. You’re doing good work.” With that, the last item was scanned, and I read out the price to him.</p><p>The man handed me a couple bills, to which I opened the till and fetched his change. “I sure hope so.” He started, “Thank you again. What was your name, by the way?” after taking the bag, he stuffed the receipt in his pocket.</p><p>There it was: the dreaded name question. Most of the time, people asked my name if they want to complain to management about me. It didn’t happen often—at least not to my knowledge. I thought the service was up to standards, and that this man was nice, but I suppose I was hopeful. I pointed to my name tag and said my name aloud.</p><p>“It’s very nice to meet you!” he said with a little wave. “My name is Takuto Maruki. I just thought that, since I’d be a regular here, I should get to know my store clerk a bit, don’t you think?” the man—Maruki—was surprisingly earnest.</p><p>“O-oh. Yes, of course. The pleasure’s all mine, Maruki.” I certainly wasn’t expecting that. “Have a great rest of your day and good luck at your interview!”</p><p>Maruki ended up getting the job. He started shortly thereafter and became a regular. I don’t know why, but I was truly happy about that. He was just so pleasant. More specifically, he was the type of guy I wanted to pour my heart out to; a great listener, to be sure. That was to be expected of a counselor, of course, but Maruki genuinely wanted to listen to people. My job quickly went from simply being a means to an end to something I looked forward to before I fell asleep after classes if I could speak with the doctor. He was a good guy. I really liked him.</p><p>We became fast friends, but something within my heart wanted more.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. at the park</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A few weeks following our first encounter, there’s something I noticed about Maruki’s mannerisms, apart from his usual quirks: he’s incredibly doubtful of himself and his abilities. We don’t talk much—that is to say, we don’t talk for <em>long</em>—but I occasionally pick up on those cues. He explained to me that he buys snacks every so often as an incentive for the students to come into counseling (the apple juice is for him, though). I’d understand if it were a first-time sort of thing, but he’s habitually buying loads of snacks, like he doesn’t believe in his own abilities to help them through whatever the hell they’re going through, and as if the kids are only coming in for food. I usually want to tell him that I’m sure they appreciate him, but some part of me is reluctant. Maybe if he realized that fact, I reasoned, he would stop coming in as often. I don’t know if I’d be willing to give that up. But, from the few interactions I’ve had with him thus far, he truly is a kind, welcoming man. It was something I felt from him when I first approached him, and, frankly, I’m a bit jealous they get to speak with him more frequently.</p>
<p>The Kamoshida case was certainly an interesting one, and it was no surprise at all that Shujin sought to improve its public image. I just hope that, at least, they aren’t using Maruki to save face; he deserves far more than to be tokenized by that school. More intriguingly, however, was the Phantom-Aficionado website I kept hearing about at work. It was only known among Shujin students for the most part given their connection to the Phantom Thieves themselves. I’ve heard anyone could leave a request for “a change of heart.” It piqued my curiosity, to say the least, so I decided to check it out after classes, only briefly on the train for now. The first thing displayed was an anonymous poll:</p>
<p>
  <em>Do you believe in the Phantom Thieves?</em>
</p>
<p>A good question indeed. Do I? Kamoshida didn’t seem like the kind of guy to suddenly confess his crimes given the severity of it all. There’s also the possibility of blackmail, but what else could he have done that he didn’t want to have leaked? I don’t know their methods but I’m not naive enough to believe an undoubtedly evil man could abruptly feel guilty of his actions. The Phantom Thieves did something to better society: I tap the button for ‘yes.’ I see the percentage go up slightly.</p>
<p>Upon further inspection, I found the forums where a few requests had already been posted; I did momentarily question the legality since, well, it’s vigilantism in action, but there wasn’t too much attention on it yet so it couldn’t have been that bad. Tired, my eyes glazed over the titles of some of the threads: <em>Please stop by ex-boyfriend, he’s stalking me, </em>and <em>This guy bullies people into giving him money</em> were the ones at the top. The posters left the target’s full real name, too…that’s a bit unsettling, even if that’s what the forum rules say to do. What happens in the case of false accusations—do the Phantom Thieves know who’s telling the truth and who isn’t? My mind wandered back to Maruki: what did he think of all this? Maybe I should ask him next time we meet. My stop was called, so I gathered my things and left the train.</p>
<p>It’s disheartening to me how little time I spend at home. This place is more just a place to sleep than anything, a place to make dinner and go. My lunches are usually either Leblanc curry or a sandwich from work, since I get a deep discount on all the merchandise there. One’s tastier, but the other’s lighter on my already light wallet…I tend to give into the tastier option more often than not, though. Still, it’s my place, and the bed is comfortable. I can’t say I don’t miss my parent’s house, but they’re too far away from school; my commute is long enough as it is living in Yongen.</p>
<p>A brisk shower, my face washed, my teeth brushed: another routine. I’m grateful for Maruki because of this. My life, like many others in Japan, is rooted in the same schedule every day like this. Maruki, though, doesn’t come in every day—rather, he comes in when he needs to reload on food. I don’t know when that is. Sometimes there’s only a one-day gap, other times it could be three days until I see him again. It shakes things up in such a small way, but it’s a significant change in the grand scheme of things. I think it’s weird how I think of him like this, but Maruki would probably laugh and tells me he understands, that my feelings are totally normal…I honestly do like him. In what way though, I wonder? If he were to ask me out, which would most likely never happen, I wouldn’t hesitate to say yes. I guess that’s my answer to myself.</p>
<p>I got a call from my mother right before I was about to head to bed. It started with the usual niceties: how are you doing? what did you eat today? how’s school treating you? how are your grades? do you need anything from me?</p>
<p>“Honestly, hun,” there was a marked change in her tone: it was far more serious, “I’m thinking I need to go to the doctor again. My boss is—”</p>
<p>“He’s <em>still</em> giving you trouble?” I feel bad for cutting her off, but her boss is a special kind of greedy. It was an issue in the past: her back issue keeps her from being on her feet for long periods of time and, despite having the proper paperwork and examinations to prove her disability, the boss doesn’t care. Profit over people, as always.</p>
<p>My mother was quiet for a moment, “Yes, so I’d like to go to the doctor to have some pain killers prescribed. I’m not exactly in a position to quit and find a new job right now…”</p>
<p>It hurt me to know she was just going to take this blatant workplace abuse. Bosses letting power get to their head, refusing to accommodate for their labor force…what a rotten man. “Mom, I—” my initial intention was to offer my help in finding a new job, but I had a better idea. “What was his full name again? Your boss’s I mean.”</p>
<p>I heard the confusion in her voice; nevertheless, she told me his name. That was all I needed. It stung to know she was hurting again, but I’m glad she told me about her ordeal. I could change her situation for the better. Maybe it was dangerous to get my hopes up, but I didn’t care. My mother deserves better than this. I only need her to hang in there for just a little bit longer. Eventually, the phone call ended. My body acted on its own from that point on. I posted on the Phan-site, pleading with the thieves to steal my mother’s boss’s heart. I wrote of her disability. I wrote of the issues we had with him in the past. <em>Please listen to me,</em> I thought, <em>my mother is a good woman.</em> My eyelids began to feel heavy. <em>Please change his heart.</em></p>
<p>· · ·</p>
<p>There was a new hire at the store who had availability on Monday mornings, so it’s a day of the week I have off now. I didn’t know what to do with my newfound free time, so I decided to head to Inokashira Park for a quick walk. It was a lovely day out and I had a lot on my mind. Primarily, I was worried about my mother. Our schedules don’t align very well because of my night classes, but I make sure to text her throughout the day. I found out she got ahold of some medication, but her boss is using it as an excuse to make her work harder now. “You aren’t in pain anymore? Great, here’s more work so you can overexert yourself further!” Asshole. The discomfort doesn’t go away completely.</p>
<p>I was a bit surprised to see Shujin uniforms around the park. Checking my phone, I saw that school still should’ve been in session. <em>Whatever it is, I shouldn’t get in their way.</em> I sat on a bench far from the center of the trail where it overlooked the body of water. Watching the ducks slowly move across the water took up my attention for a small period—in truth, I envied them. With not a care in the world, they briskly float to wherever life takes them…</p>
<p>I came to find out the students were sent here to do volunteer work. I heard a lot of complaining, but it didn’t seem too bad overall—the park was clean now, too! I didn’t really want to think about how long it would take until it would be trashed again, though. Some people really have no respect when it comes to their own environment, unfortunately. Another thought, though: <em>Was Maruki here?</em> It would be a pleasant coincidence, to be sure. <em>I hope I can run into him.</em></p>
<p>The clean up job appeared to be complete, so I felt less intrusive now walking the trail. I listened to music, mostly minding my own business, until I felt a tap on my shoulder. I froze, afraid it would be a Shujin staff member scolding me for walking in on their student’s volunteer work. He called my name.</p>
<p>“Wow! What a neat surprise to find you here!” I knew it was Maruki before I could turn around. His tie was loose around his neck and his sleeves were pulled up—he must’ve been hot, and yet, he had a bowl of soup in his hand. Anyhow, I was stunned by wish came true.</p>
<p>“Hey, Maruki! Small world, huh?” I smiled at him, a genuine smile. I was truly so happy to see him here, outside of work, where some boundaries were removed. At the very least, we could talk, and our conversation wouldn’t end after I handed him his receipt.</p>
<p>Maruki wasted no time in returning a smile, but his expression soon changed. “Oh! Are you hungry? Here, take this.” he presented the bowl of soup to me.</p>
<p>I gingerly took it, upon which I felt the warmth. It seemed it was fresh—and I felt better knowing the smell I noticed earlier wasn’t just me going crazy. “Are you sure? What about you?” even now, he was thinking of others. I was indeed hungry, but I didn’t make a comment on it; it’s like he just knew.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s fine!” he quickly said back, “I can go back and get some more. Why don’t we sit together?” Maruki gestured to a nearby vacant bench before he began speaking again, “It’d be nice to talk with you outside of work.”</p>
<p>Again, he read my mind. “I’d like that a lot.” I said as the heat started to burn my fingers a bit.</p>
<p>“Great! Here, go on without me—I’ll grab myself another bowl.”</p>
<p>I did just as he said. It wasn’t too long before he came back, bowl in hand. His glasses fogged ever so slightly as he held it close to his chest. “This recipe is a Takuto Maruki original! But the other students on the cooking task force helped make it better, no doubt.” He appeared to be proud, not only of himself, but of the kids working with him as well.</p>
<p>I took a few slurps myself while waiting for his return. It was delicious, though I wondered if my own feelings, my obvious bias, influenced the taste. “Still, you’d need a good base to start with. It’s great, Maruki, thank you.” on top of tasting good, it was free. Free food, even from the convenience store—always tasted better. Maruki chuckled in response. “How’s the job going?” I inquired, indulging in the soup’s savory flavors.</p>
<p>Maruki took a moment before responding, evidently thinking on how to respond. “Honestly? It’s great. The students are a joy, very headstrong and resilient, considering what they’ve been through. It’s a pleasure, being their counselor.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad to hear it.” It was a relief to know the kids treated him well—but what of the adults? The faculty and staff?</p>
<p>“Yeah! And one of the students in particular has been incredibly strong. I’m excited to see where life will take him in the future.” Maruki paused to have a bit of his food, “He’s been helping me quite a lot, actually.” He said, mostly to himself.</p>
<p>In fact, I wondered if I should even respond to that part. “Help you out? In what way?” I was thinking, maybe, he helped clean up his office, helped with the counseling effort—something small like that.</p>
<p>Maruki winced, smiling sheepishly now. “Oh, I said that out loud, didn’t I? Well, there’s no harm in telling you, I suppose.” Setting his empty bowl aside, the doctor leaned forward in the seat slightly as he fidgeted with his hands. It looked like he was thinking long and hard on what to say, as if the subject matter itself was a sensitive one. “I’m working on a second project, alongside my job as a counselor. It’s not so much like counseling—more like a type of psychological treatment…”</p>
<p>“And this student you speak of is..?”</p>
<p>“He’s helping me develop my thesis into something more tangible. He doesn’t do much—he just listens to my ideas, my theories, and he’d tell me if they spark any realizations on his end.” Maruki rubbed his chin, “I think I’ll be able to help a lot of people if I could just work out the kinks a little bit more.”</p>
<p>I finished the rest of the soup as I listened to him speak. It gave me a warm, calm feeling, while also energizing me, the same feeling Boss’s curry gives me at Leblanc. He was attractive, kind-hearted, intelligent, and a talented cook: the full package. On top of all that, he’s working on a psychological breakthrough that, if completed, could change the world as he says? It’s a noble goal for sure. “Mm, I see.” Be that as it may, I couldn’t help but wonder if it was scientifically feasible to have a sample size of only one. It was for this reason I asked, though hesitant, “Do you, maybe, need a larger sample? I actually have Mondays off now—I’d love to help you out if you’d like.”</p>
<p>“Really?!” Maruki was so excited he stood up out of the bench and took my hand, seemingly to shake it. “If you’d allow me the time—I’d be so grateful!” his hand felt warm, as the rest of his demeanor did. I wanted to hold it for a bit longer, but I didn’t want to sully the prospect of spending more time with Maruki. A part of me felt like he mentioned this research on purpose, however, to get me to ask to participate…not that I minded. In fact, I was glad. Really glad.</p>
<p>“Yeah! I’d be happy to help out,” was all I said in response, giving a firm shake of his hand. We exchanged contact information. Truth be told, I felt a flutter in my chest typing my name and number into Maruki’s phone. Maybe it was the flavorful miso working its magic, but I’d like to think it was Maruki implanting himself in my heart. I liked the guy, in a way beyond friends. Yeah, I wasn’t ashamed to admit it anymore: I had a crush on him.</p>
<p>After we parted ways, I reflected on our conversation. I stared at his name and icon (he insisted I take a picture of him and vice versa) for a long while on my phone on the train ride home. I couldn’t believe this was really happening: I was going to not only see the man I was developing feelings for several times a week at work, but now a guaranteed meeting every Monday afternoon<em>. It would have to be after the nurse’s office at Shujin closed</em>, he told me, <em>so we should pick a meeting spot that’s most convenient for you. </em>We ended up choosing Big Bang Burger on Central Street.</p>
<p>Our first meeting was set for next Monday evening. It would be an understatement to say that I was just excited, but I had to act professional; <em>this was a meeting to discuss his theories, not a date,</em> I had to keep repeating to myself. Despite the constant reiteration in my mind, I still fretted over superficial things: what should I wear? should I eat before going or order at Big Bang? Things of that nature.</p>
<p>Over the next few days, we spoke a few times over text messages. I never contacted him first since I didn’t want to come across as clingy. The conversations were mostly mundane, asking for trivial advice about what to put in his next dish, checking up on me and my studies, I’d ask him how counseling was going…I wanted more, badly.</p>
<p>June came and, along with it, a new summer uniform. I was happier than usual since now Maruki and I were more than acquaintances at this point, but I was still unsatisfied with my job—not to mention my worrying over my mother. It had been a while since I posted on the Phan-Site. Did my request go unanswered, or was it not a big enough deal for the Phantom Thieves to care? It put a serious damper on my mood at times.</p>
<p>The day before my first session with Maruki, the famous artist Madarame confessed to plagiarism and abuse of his pupils after having his heart stolen by the Phantom Thieves. According to some Shujin regulars, he confessed in a similar manner as Kamoshida did; Madarame even received a calling card as well. Later that night, my mother called me.</p>
<p>She told me, almost in a daze, her boss was resigning. He went and confessed his actions to his own higher-ups himself. Supposedly, he was the reason the company was losing so many other employees. My mother wasn’t the only one affected by his egregious abuse of power. She was in disbelief but was assuredly happy to have a new boss regardless—I was happy for her. I could sleep easy knowing she wasn’t forced to push herself and her back anymore.</p>
<p>I made sure to thank whoever heeded my request on the forums. If I did this, other people who were struggling—just as my mother was—could feel like they have an out of their shitty circumstances. This mysterious group was out to help us in ways the authorities could and would not. I know for a fact the police wouldn’t believe my mother and her colleagues, and would, instead, side with her abuser, as they always do. Not to mention, her job would likely be forfeit if she brought the authorities down on her boss; it truly was a lose-lose situation if not for this forum. <em>The Phantom Thieves are undeniably real,</em> was the conclusion of update to my original post.</p>
<p>I’d like to hear Maruki’s opinion on the Phantom Thieves tomorrow if time allows.  </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>hello everyone !! i hope ur enjoying the story so far !!<br/>i have a lot of things planned--there's not a lot of maruki interactions rn but i promise there will be !! i'm writing as fast as i can bc maruki has my heart rn &lt;3</p>
<p>see u soon in chapter three!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. the big bang burger challenge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm back with another chapter !! tons of maruki interactions here, so i hope u enjoy :))<br/>plus, ren is here !! woo !!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I was here far earlier than the time we initially agreed upon. There were two reasons for this: one, I absolutely did not want to late. Not only would set a horrible precedent, but it would surely inconvenience Maruki himself. Second, I wanted to have time to eat at Big Bang before he arrived. It was a fool-proof plan, really: he’s eaten already? No problem! I already had a serving of fries before he came. He wants to order something before beginning? Also not a problem! I purposefully ordered something small in case he wanted to discuss over food.</p><p>As I dipped some of the hot fries into the paper cup filled with ketchup, I received a text from Maruki saying the office just closed and he was on his way. It’s about a fifteen-minute train ride from Shujin to Central Street, so I had plenty of time. Still, though, I didn’t want to leave any evidence—it felt silly to worry about such superficial things, especially considering Maruki’s someone who wouldn’t judge me at all, but I couldn’t help it. First impressions are everything and the last thing I wanted was to mess anything up with Maruki. The last of the fries were warm and soggier as fast food tends to become. There was always something satisfying and belly-filling, however, about the salty, greasy food that comes from these places, despite being horrible for your health. Everything in moderation doesn’t hurt, though…salty, greasy food is goddamn delicious.</p><p>After destroying the evidence—throwing away the tray and checking my teeth, along with quickly chewing on a stick of gum—I was ready to meet Maruki. And, like clockwork, he walked through the doors. I watched the woman working the register greet him while my own excitement began rolling in; at the same time, I felt horribly nervous<em>. It’s not a date! It’s not a date goddammit!</em> I feared messing up or saying something that wouldn’t be useful to him, and just like that, our extra meetings would be over in an instant.</p><p>“Hey there!” Maruki greeted me in his usual soft tone, “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long, (L/N).” He said my name, and I loved the way he said it.</p><p>“N-no, not at all!” I gave a slight courteous bow. “I just got here too, actually.” What a bold-face lie—I’d been here for at least forty-five minutes, but Maruki never had to know that.</p><p>“Before we begin, I think I’ll order a drink…would you like anything?” he reached into his pocket, pulling out the small brown wallet I’d seen so many times.</p><p>I couldn’t just ask him to pay for me, even if it was just for a drink. “I have my water bottle, actually.” I pulled it out from the kangaroo pouch off the side of my backpack to show him, subsequently placing it on the table in front of us. “I have classes after this, so…” a soda did sound good right about now, but I didn’t want to inconvenience Maruki like that.</p><p>“No problem! I’ll be right back then. We can begin then, if that’s alright with you.” After setting his things down, he took off to the front counter once more.</p><p>Maruki was a special kind of man. He had a certain knack for making those around him instantly comfortable, regardless of topic of conversation. I nearly forgot how nervous I was just a moment ago, but my mouth still felt dry. The water I kept was lukewarm and, consequently, rather flat, but I could manage until I arrived at school. Maruki soon returned, a medium-sized beverage in hand, and earnestly took a seat. It was evident how passionate he was about this project from looking at his body language alone. When he was all settled in his seat, he moved his hair out of his face and pulled a notepad out of his own bag. The pen he took out was neatly tucked into the pocket of his lab coat. His clothing seemed out of season, given it was early June and he was wearing a button-up, khakis, and that coat; I suppose nothing could be done about looking professional at work, in any event.</p><p>“I hope you don’t mind me taking notes.” Maruki’s eyes shifted, his pen spinning in his hand, albeit clumsily, “If you aren’t comfortable with it, I can stop!”</p><p>“I don’t mind at all. Expecting you to remember the entire scope of our conversation would be asking too much.” I spoke with a quiet chuckle. He was being considerate, and that gesture did not go unappreciated.</p><p>Maruki breathed what seemed to be a sigh of relief. His eyes softened as he opened his mouth again, “I never quite explained what my research is about. You see, I’m aiming to study how pain is felt in the mind, or, metaphorically speaking, in the heart. Physical pains—those of the body from illness, for example—can be thought of as something necessary. The pain we feel from non-bodily injuries stem from completely intangible things, and there’s a lot we don’t quite understand about it yet. And I…well, I’d like to learn more about that psychological paradigm.”</p><p>“So, essentially, you’re studying trauma?” I should’ve suspected it would’ve been something so simple. Even so, it’s an incredibly complex, nuanced subject that still requires detailed research. I felt honored to help Maruki out like this.</p><p>“Yes, in a sense. And how to treat it more effectively.” The doctor clicked his pen a few times. It was a marked habit of his: fidgeting as he thinks. “So, now, I’d like to pose the first question: when do you truly feel this sort of pain?” he spoke in a way that signified his patience.</p><p>A loaded question right off the bat, hm? It wasn’t unexpected considering the subject matter, but it was something that required a lot of thought for a cohesive, candid response. “Well…” I leaned forward, tapping my fingers along the cool plastic table, “Recently, my mother had been the victim of workplace abuse at the hands of her employer. I was angry and hurt that I couldn’t feasibly do anything for her without jeopardizing her job. Thankfully, though, her boss was, um—h-he was fired.” I couldn’t let my secret about posting on the Phan-Site get out, even if I trusted Maruki. I think counselors are mandated reporters and engaging with the Phantom Thieves could very well become illegal sometime in the future.</p><p>Maruki quickly jotted down my answer before speaking again. “I see. Yes, I can definitely sympathize with that. It’s disheartening to feel powerless in a situation where your loved one is in danger. I’m glad she’s doing better, though!”</p><p>I nodded in reply, my lips curved into a slight smile.</p><p>“It’s rough. Struggling with pain in your heart is something one can only go on with for so long.” Again, he clicked his pen. “How about pain of a broken heart, then? Have you given any thought on the matter? As a counselor, I can speak from experience: much of what plagues a young person’s mind—aside from the stress of exams and extracurriculars—are relationship troubles.”</p><p>Love, and a broken heart. It’s a cycle, in my mind. One cannot exist without the other, but it’s a struggle every person experiences in some form or another. “I’ve had my heart broken, as many people have. I kinda regretted how things ended with my boyfriend in high school, but it’s honestly nothing too severe compared to what other people have felt.” Maruki’s eyes were unwavering; that should’ve been intimidating, but it wasn’t. It was a signal to me that he was listening with his whole heart, so I was encouraged to keep going. “But, if you ask me, it’s a necessary part of life. We get our hearts broken as kids and grow from those experiences. In terms of love, a broken heart teaches you what to look for in a relationship and to know when the relationship itself is heading downhill. More importantly, if you have a good support system, it can teach you healthy coping mechanism given pain is a natural part of life…”</p><p>Maruki laughed, but not in a condescending way. “That’s very poetic of you, but also very insightful.” He started, setting his pen down altogether. Did I already mess up and give too much of a cookie-cutter answer? “That’s a very positive approach. It’s admirable.” His eye contact with me broke, warm brown eyes averted to the window, and at the people of Shibuya walking behind me. “Personally speaking, if pain can be avoided, it should be. And perhaps it would be best to eliminate it entirely.”</p><p>That was quite blunt of him. A world without pain, huh…what would that spell for the ultimate fate of humanity? “We, of course, shouldn’t go seeking pain. I think what I was trying to say was experiencing that kind of trauma helps you to avoid it in the future.”</p><p>“…Mn.” Maruki hummed, picking up his pen to scribble a few more notes down. I was quiet as he did so. He looked at me again when he was finished. “Because psychological pain is something intangible, it’s complex. You can see a bruise with your eyes, a broken bone with an X-ray…but we can’t scan the mind for pain; that makes it much harder to detect and treat in the long run. With my research, I could save people who keep clinging to their pain, even ones they don’t know exist within their minds, or ones that they push deep within their psyches. Your perspective reminded me of my purpose, so thank you very much.” I couldn’t help but notice a certain sorrowful tone hidden within his calm voice—it was as though something lurked deep beneath the surface of this man’s thoughts, but I couldn’t place my finger on it. It was just something I <em>felt</em>: a nagging suspicion.</p><p>That’s all it took, evidently. “Did that help?” Honestly, I felt like I was rambling, but if Maruki said it was helpful, I looked forward to more sessions.</p><p>“Absolutely!” his smile was as radiant as ever. “Having two subjects—er, participants—really helps me articulate and organize thoughts in a way I couldn’t before. I’m grateful.” Hearing him say those words to me was all the thanks I needed. I wanted so badly to engrain it within my memory—I was helpful to this kind man doing something great for the world. When I’m stressed, overwhelmed, whatever sort of painful emotion, I think I’ll reminisce on this instance. “Alright, I think that’s all for today—"</p><p>“Hey, um,” I started, “Can we talk about something else that’s been on my mind?” I was anxious about asking: I didn’t want to overstep my boundaries or take up too much of his time.</p><p>Maruki was in the middle of packing up as I asked. His eyes softened before he replied, peeking down at his lap, where I assumed he was checking his phone. “It looks like we still have some time. I’d love to lend an ear.” His posture relaxed, and a wave of relief washed over me.</p><p>“I’m curious as to what your thoughts are on the Phantom Thieves. They are part of the reason you’re working at Shujin now, after all…” my voice trembled somewhat since this topic was sensitive to me. And, honestly, I really wanted Maruki to believe in and root for them as I did.</p><p>When I gazed at the man again, he appeared deep in thought. Again, he was doing something with his hands: this time, he was flipping through the pages of his notepad, that sound filling our silence. “The Phantom Thieves, huh…” he began, “I’d say our goals aren’t too far apart—our methods are where we stand apart, although I don’t really understand how they do it.”</p><p>It was a relatively vague answer, but he didn’t seem too bothered by the group when I posed the question. “I think I support them.” I said bluntly, though I was still maintaining my sense of caution. “Um, someone close to me—they helped them out.”</p><p>“Is that so,” Maruki’s quiet voice drifted, but I could see something of a plan stirring</p><p>in his contemplative eyes. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to press any further. “I suppose I support them as well. Maybe one day we’ll even join forces to help people out of their suffering, haha…”</p><p>That reply satisfied me this time around, “You’d be able to reach a lot of people through them. I really, really do wish you good luck on your research,” it was probably time to go now, unfortunately. I felt like somewhat of a fool for being so worried earlier as well, I should’ve expected Maruki to be an easy soul to converse with. I already looked forward to our next session, as I would make it known, “I’m so glad I could help you out today, though. I’ll see you same time next Monday, then?”</p><p>“That sounds great with me, and—Amamiya, is that you? Haha, it truly is a small world!” Maruki’s attention was pulled from me and was instead directed at the Shujin student who just took a seat next to our table.</p><p>I’d seen this kid at the store before and he had money to <em>burn.</em> Or at least, he spent way too much of his money on bulk-buying from my store. There was something of an intimidating air about him, despite him being a second year. His frizzy raven-black hair, his bright eyes, his overall collected composure…this kid had his act together at a very young age. More importantly, Maruki knew him in a way beyond just being his counselor—I very quickly deduced this was the student he was talking about from the park.</p><p>“Doctor Maruki?” his voice—Amamiya’s—was rather deep for a teenager. His gaze shifted, his eyes almost analyzing me. “And Doctor Maruki’s friend, hello.” He was a man of few words, but he held tremendous charisma behind his speech—public speech classes, maybe? I kept hearing muffled meowing around Amamiya as well.</p><p>I let Maruki speak for me. “Oh, yes, I haven’t told you about my friend.” I enjoyed hearing him call me that, “They’re helping me with my research, too. (L/N), this is Ren Amamiya.” I was right, then.</p><p>I bowed my head in response. “But this was the first time we had a session.” I informed him.</p><p>“Anyhow,” Maruki’s things were all put away now, “Are you waiting for a friend, Amamiya? We were actually wrapping up just now, so you don’t have to worry about being embarrassed or anything, haha.”</p><p>“No, I—”</p><p>Holy shit, what was <em>that?</em> The Big Bang employee needed two hands to carry the tray she brought to Amamiya’s table. I’d heard of the Big Bang challenge before, but to think it would be this big! There was absolutely no way a scrawny boy like Amamiya could tackle a monstrous burger like that in such a small time frame…but then again, he did buy an obscene amount of food from the store.  </p><p>“A-Amamiya…” Maruki stuttered—he was just as taken aback as I was. “Do you truly intend to eat all <em>that?</em>” my thoughts exactly.</p><p>“This burger is as voluminous as a soaring comet burning in the sky. It will not be overcome easily,” the female employee started, the entirety of the restaurant intently watching at this point, “But should you conquer this challenge, you will be rewarded with an extravagant prize. You have thirty minutes—go!” she walked away, seemingly fully convinced this ‘challenge’ would not be ‘conquered.’</p><p>“No worries, Doctor.” Amamiya’s lips curved into a grin, his hand waving away the sentiment. “Watch this,” his absurd amount of confidence was demonstrable in the glint in his eyes alone as he gripped the burger. Just the way he held it displayed his skill—none of the condiments were falling out, somehow. It was showtime.</p><p>Maruki and I cheered him on as the other spectators did. Amamiya certainly seemed to be enjoying the spotlight as he completely powered through the burger in half the allotted time. Looking across the table at Maruki, his reaction nearly mirrored mine: shock, and guilt that we couldn’t believe in him. Amamiya rolled his head, his hand on his neck; he was bursting at the seams but smug as ever. Again, I heard a cat’s meow.</p><p>Both Maruki and I were silent as the employee congratulated him for tackling the Comet Burger and presented him with a badge: a pass to proceed to the next tier in the challenge. If the Comet Burger was this big, how big was the second tier? and what of the third tier? I shuddered just thinking about it. Watching him scarf down all that food, though exhilarating, was nauseating. “That was incredible…” I mused, “Is your stomach an abyss or something?”</p><p>Amamiya chuckled at my comment, “It might be. I get that a lot.” He clutched the badge to his chest for a moment before tucking it into his bag.</p><p>While he did that, my phone buzzed; it was a text from my mother, but more pressingly—I was going to be late to class if I didn’t leave <em>right now.</em> In the background, I could hear Maruki and Amamiya exchanging in more small talk as I gathered my things; my bag felt lighter than usual, but I’m pretty sure I took everything with me. “Maruki, I’m sorry. I have to head out now.” I looked to the student politely, “Amamiya, it was nice meeting you!” we exchanged our goodbyes, I thanked Maruki for his time and headed out.</p><p>Right as I was about to enter Shibuya station, I realized why my bag felt lighter: my water bottle was missing. I didn’t receive a text from Maruki yet, so I assumed he was still inside with Amamiya. I was most assuredly going to be late, but I didn’t want to inconvenience Maruki with having to take the water bottle home; I determined it was better to just go back to Big Bang Burger and collect it for myself. As I resolved this with myself, I felt a looming presence behind me. Of course, there would be people behind me—this was Shibuya, after all—but this felt different. It was markedly malicious and made my hairs stand up on end; I didn’t want to turn around.</p><p>But the man spoke up, confirming my suspicions of being followed: “Hey, you,” glancing out the side of my eye, he beckoned me to a more secluded corner—and with that, my heart began to pound in my chest. “You wanna make easy money?”</p><p><em>Easy money?</em> I cocked my head in his direction, clammy hands grasping the straps of my backpack tightly. “N-no, thank you, sir.”</p><p>“C’mon…” he stepped closer to me, to which I took a step back. Damn…he caught me in a less crowded area of the Station Square, and the people that were around were gleefully minding their own business, drowning my plight out of their line of sight. “All you gotta do is drop a package off for us. Not a big deal, right? Don’t ya want extra cash?” his tone was sickeningly condescending.</p><p>“I have somewhere to be.” I spoke quickly back. I had to stand my ground, even if no one around here would come to my aid; my voice, though trembling, was as firm as I could make it. And yet, when I tried to make my way past him, he shortly closed the gap that formed between us.</p><p>“What are ya, in high school? Or university?” he was annoyingly persistent as he fully intended on pressing me into ‘delivering packages’ until I gave in. “Don’t ya got things you need to pay off? Ain’t ya tired of asking your parents for money?”</p><p><em>Just ignore him</em>. I repeated the words to myself several times, keeping my head up high as I walked back towards the crowd. At the very least, I could lose him in the crowd.</p><p>“Tch. You’re stubborn. Why don’t you just do it?” the gruff man stood in front of me, blocking me off from Central Street. I was trying my hardest to preserve the no-bullshit, fearless mask I had on—if only my beating heart and sweaty palms cooperated!</p><p>“I have my hands full right now.” I responded, my stare steady and resolute. I parted my lips to speak again until disheveled chocolate brown hair and the glint of his glasses caught my eye.</p><p>“Yeah, right.” He once again started toward me, but I stayed still. And, just as expected, Maruki called out my name. He moved to the scene, his white lab coat flowing behind him in the light Shibuya breeze; in the quiet chaos of it all, I caught sight of my water bottle in his hand. Amimaya was following closely behind him, taking cool strides as the man in front of me grew distinctly uncomfortable. “Shit…whatever.” He muttered under his breath, head hanging low as he finally left my vicinity—but not before checking my shoulder. It hurt a little.</p><p>“You alright?” Maruki asked, and I could <em>feel</em> the kindness practically sewn within his voice. Amamiya, the bold kid he was, made sure the thug was gone, “I’m so glad I was able to catch you. Here,” it was the water bottle he handed me.</p><p>I was undoubtedly shaken up, but I was fine now that Maruki was here. “Y-yes, I’m alright. Thank you.” I prudently took hold of the bottle, tucking it away in my bag’s side pouch.</p><p>“It was admirable, how you held your own back there. You and Amamiya have a lot in common, it seems.” Maruki’s chuckle warmed my heart, calmed it down, as he placed a hand on my back, rubbing it to further calm my nerves. “Do you want me to accompany you to your school? You go to Tokyo University, right?”</p><p>“Yes.” I replied quietly.</p><p>“Amamiya has to head home. I can come with you so you feel safer.”  </p><p>I wasn't one to deny a proposition like that. He sat on the train next to me all the way to school. I only fell for him harder.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. odaiba's summer festival</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>About a month following our first research session, a mafia boss by the name of Junya Kaneshiro turned himself into the police on the accords of the Phantom Thieves. I stumbled upon one of the many calling cards posted around Shibuya on my way to my meeting with Maruki; when I proudly displayed it to him, he fully supported my enthusiasm. We didn’t get much research done that night—instead, we discussed the Phantom Thieves, my experience with what came to be the Kaneshiro thug from the previous month, and ended the evening with a heated debate on what the best fruit was. Those types of sessions became commonplace as we grew more comfortable being around each other, much to my elated surprise. Maruki was not only a great listener, but an excellent conversationalist despite being something of a wallflower—he was wise beyond his years, often providing great insight to the many social grievances plaguing young people such as ourselves. An especially compelling dialogue ensued after we elected to walk around the streets of Shibuya over sitting inside Big Bang Burger, as we usually did. One night, we stumbled across a man giving a speech on these very social issues—apparently, he was known as ‘No Good Tora’ to many of the onlookers—but his speech captivated us both. The weight he carried behind him when he spoke seemed to inspire us regardless of his tarnished legacy; in several ways, his oratory skills reminded me of Amamiya’s.</p>
<p>My heart could hardly keep still around the bespectacled man. Maruki has, for all intents and purposes, captured me in ways no one else even came close to doing. Daydreams of him filled my imagination as he was all I could think about; it was a distraction in all facets of my life, much to the detriment of my schoolwork, but it was something I no longer had control over. I was wholeheartedly in love with Takuto Maruki, and I would keep my feelings under wraps for as long as I conceivably could. At the very least, however, I took solace in the fact Maruki considered me a close friend.</p>
<p><em>We’re good friends, aren’t we?</em> He once asked me as cheerful as ever, <em>our relationship doesn’t have to be that of researcher and subject.</em></p>
<p>If only that were the case, Maruki.</p>
<p>In any case, I framed Kaneshiro’s calling card next to Kamoshida’s. They hung above my desk at home, serving as my treasured reminder of the Phantom Thieves’ heroism. First, my mother; then, that Kaneshiro lackey Maruki saved me from…my fate seemed entwined with that of The Phantom Thieves.</p>
<p>· · ·</p>
<p>While a remarkably brutal heatwave tore across Tokyo, Maruki called me as I sought refuge in the many fans of my small Yongen apartment. Wiping off the sweat beads that formed on my forehead, I reached for my phone which buzzed on the table adjacent to me. Whenever he called me, I made sure to stare at his icon—the picture of him I snapped at Inokashira Park—for just a moment. Mainly it was because I never liked answering the phone the second it rang, but I also loved admiring his handsome features: his tender, slightly down-turned brown eyes, his long eyelashes, his scruffy hair, his stubble…I got lost in his eyes as he spoke to me more times than I'd like to admit.</p>
<p>“Hello, Maruki?” I softly started as I laid down on the floor, “Is everything alright?”</p>
<p>“Hey!” the man replied, “I’m glad you're doing well. Are you free tomorrow?”</p>
<p>Tomorrow was Sunday the 17<sup>th</sup> if I recalled correctly; I generally didn’t have much on my schedule on Sundays thanks to my habitual studying at work and Leblanc. It was the only true day of the week I was freely available. “Um, yes, I should be. Did you want to reschedule our session on Monday to tomorrow instead?”</p>
<p>“Not at all, (L/N). Quite the opposite, in fact.” It appeared as though Maruki had a surprise for me. “You see, I found out about a summer festival in Odaiba from one of the students today at lunchtime.” I didn’t know why, but I could hear him strain ever so slightly at the mention of Odaiba, “Would you be interested in going with me tomorrow? No research or anything—I’m interested in sampling the food there, but just didn’t want to go alone!” A day out with Maruki, without the pretense of research or work or professionalism; more simply put, it was an outing with Maruki as my friend rather than as my ‘researcher.’ I was so elated my mind was completely scrambled, and anything I wanted to say wouldn’t form in my throat. “Ah…are you still there?” the doctor spoke again, this time timidly as I my face ran hot.</p>
<p>“Yes—yes, yes. Yes, I’m free tomorrow. Yes, I’d like to go.” I managed to stammer.</p>
<p>“Oh..! Well, in that case, shall we meet up tomorrow morning at our usual spot? Big Bang?”</p>
<p>"Yes.”</p>
<p> “Great! Sleep tight, (L/N).”</p>
<p> “Yes.”</p>
<p> “Er…see you, then!” Maruki hung up a second later as I held my phone to my ear for a while longer. Sheepish about my reaction (or lack thereof), I brought my knees to my chest and buried my face away. Judging by his tone, he was definitely creeped out—but, then again, he was far too nice to hold it against me. There really wasn’t an ounce of hostility in that man’s heart.</p>
<p><em>Idiot.</em> ‘Yes’ was all I, a reasonably educated adult, could bring myself to say? <em>What will he think of you now?</em> If he was truly unsettled, I consoled to myself, he would’ve rescinded his invitation; in fact, he later texted me an exact time for our meetup. And yet, despite that reassurance, I still decided on the classic excuse (<em>my apologies, I was tired) </em>so it wouldn’t seem like I was a total loon.</p>
<p>I already knew that night was going to be a restless one. How could I sleep in anticipation of my outing with Maruki tomorrow? As the hours ticked by, I sorted out various things: my outfit and my light breakfast, among others. I made sure to set a few alarms five minutes apart from one another. I searched for details of the festival on the Internet to inform myself, checked the weather (hot, as expected), and watched countless cat videos to pass the time until I was sleepy. My one comfort was that it wasn’t going to be far too different from <em>Mondays with Maruki </em>(as I came to lovingly call them), especially considering our conversations as of late have been quite casual. Still, worrying over my outward appearance and how I carry myself with Maruki has become something of a usual occurrence, even though I was largely comfortable being around him. A couple Maruki-related fantasies later, I was out-cold.</p>
<p>The next morning, I groggily dressed myself into an outfit fitting for the sweltering heat and for breakfast, I had a thick slice of <em>shokupan</em> with a hearty spreading of fruit jam. Prior to leaving, I checked myself in the mirror probably about twenty times: making sure I didn’t have anything stuck in my teeth, making sure my clothes were proper and straight, making sure my hair was just right…it’s a lot of work to look good for my crush!</p>
<p>I let Maruki know I was on my way by the time I stepped onto the train platform. Even now, I felt incredibly self-conscious of how I looked as I stared at my phone’s home screen for his reply; a few minutes later, it came in:</p>
<p>
  <em>Great! I’m about ten minutes away from Shibuya. </em>
</p>
<p>As my fingers tapped across the screen, I received another text:</p>
<p>
  <em>Shall we meet by the Saikyō Line instead of Big Bang Burger?</em>
</p>
<p>I erased my previous response, quickly typing another one. At first, I was going to say ‘Yes,’ but given what happened last night… <em>That sounds good with me. It’s just a few more minutes on my end too.</em></p>
<p>Maruki arrived before I did, evident as I spotted him on a bench by the Saikyō Line’s entrance. Even on a casual outing, his clothing was refined: a short-sleeve mint green button-up paired with his usual khakis and, of course, his iconic slides. He appeared to be lost in his own head when I approached him; from glancing at the display, we had a bit of time until the next train to Odaiba arrived. His expression was more subdued and less calm than I was used to seeing him, but as soon as he spotted me, that troubled look on his face was hastily erased—he must have been tired. Takuto stood up and greeted me, tenderly saying my name; my chest grew heated as a result.</p>
<p>“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting for too long, Maruki.” I remarked, “And, um…I’m sorry about last night. I sounded like a broken record, didn’t I?”</p>
<p>Maruki snickered in response, “Just a little bit—but don’t worry at all. I didn’t mind.”</p>
<p>What a relief, I didn’t even have to explain myself away with my lame excuse. His low, gentle laugh was enough to get me to fry my circuits again, though. “Well, with that out of the way, are you ready to go? I’ve actually never been to Odaiba before, so I’ll just follow you.”</p>
<p>“Really? What a surprise!” again, there was something mildly somber about his tone, “I’ve been there a few times for work-related reasons.”</p>
<p>We spoke together, hushed to not disturb the other passengers, all the way to our destination. It was a rather arduous walk from the station to the site: the sun’s heat was merciless and we both commented on how a nice cold bottle of water would be at that moment. Even with all that, I thought it would be nicer to hold hands with him all day…</p>
<p>The smell of grilled meats and barbeque smoke was potent as we drew nearer, the smoke itself only making the environment hotter, unfortunately. My stomach growled anyway—kebabs were always irresistible, regardless of the outside conditions. “Hey, Maruki…” I looked at him, my hands gripping the straps of my light drawstring bag, “We should save the meat dishes for now. Ice cream sounds way better, right?”</p>
<p>Maruki took off his glasses to wipe his forehead, slicking his hair back with his fingers; his hair seemed soft to the touch as it fell right back into place over his face. “Absolutely. It doesn’t look too far away now, at least!” he exclaimed as he fanned his face.</p>
<p>There was a moment of awkward silence before I broke the air, the stalls of the festival being just within view, “You’re not worried about being spotted by one of your students with me, Maruki? That’s pretty bold of you, heh.” My face ran hot as I said it, but it could be easily explained away by the heat.</p>
<p>“O-oh! You know, I never thought of that!” I could spot the faintest blush on his cheeks, and I fully treasured that sight. “But I don’t have any problem with it at all. I mean, we’re close, aren’t we? We’ve seen each other several times a week for the past few months, talk on the phone frequently, and I wanted to thank you for your help both with my snack-choosing and the research, so…” he paused, “I was actually going to let you know I wouldn’t mind if you called me Takuto.”</p>
<p>Takuto. Takuto, his first name, was a symbol of our advancing closeness. I said it aloud and it felt foreign to my tongue, and yet, it rolled off perfectly. I was sure it tasted sweeter than any ice cream we would be having today. In response, Maruki—no, Takuto—said my first name just as sweetly.</p>
<p>As expected, the lines for the cold treats were far longer than those for cooked foods. Namely, the <em>kakigori</em> stand we chose: we were lucky enough to make it in line before <em>another</em> large group of people gathered behind us. Takuto and I played a game (or games) of chopsticks to entertain ourselves as the line was seemingly frozen at times. It was cute, how he was always one hit away from winning, but would make a clumsy mistake or wouldn’t realize my strategy—he was also strangely competitive, so I let him have a few games. His triumphant smile made it all worth it.</p>
<p>“Hey, ain’t that…?” I heard a rowdy voice call out from the stall next to us, “Oh shit, it is! Hey, Doc! Over here!”</p>
<p>Looking up from our game, I spotted three high-school-aged boys: a familiar kid with blonde hair, Amamiya, and a tall, lanky boy next to them both. Was my earlier premonition coming true? Amamiya knew Takuto, but the blonde did as well—the tall teenager, not so much, however. Moreover, the loudest of the bunch waved energetically at the doctor stood beside me which drew attention to us; we were standing so close, too! Did people think of us as a couple? Takuto and I weren’t dating, but…I hope it appeared as such at a glance.</p>
<p>“Ah, Sakamoto and Amamiya, you’re here as well? And your friend, hello there!” Takuto spoke with ease, stuffing one hand in his pocket. “I’m Takuto Maruki, and this,” he said to the blue-haired man, now gesturing to me, “is a friend of mine.” With that prompting, I introduced myself.</p>
<p>“I am Yusuke Kitagawa, a student of the fine arts division at Kosei High.” His voice was even lower than Amamiya—what are young people doing nowadays to have such deep, mature voices? “I have heard a lot about you, Doctor Maruki.” He was, how to say it? Intimidating? Eccentric?</p>
<p>“Oh! Well, um…I’m flattered, haha!” Takuto sheepishly rubbed his neck, “But I’m really nothing too special!”</p>
<p>“Aw, there you go again, Yusuke.” The blonde, Sakamoto, nudged at Kitagawa’s side, to which he flinched; meanwhile, Amamiya was watching silently as he tended to do. “Goin’ and bein’ weird. Anyway, ain’t these lines insane? Like, more insane than the heat?” he had a rather sizable grin on his face.</p>
<p>“Ugh, don’t remind me.” I playfully chided, “We’ll be enjoying cold treats, though, so it won’t be too bad if we wait just a bit longer…”</p>
<p>Takuto chuckled, “That is, if it’s not all sold out by the time we get there.”</p>
<p>“Please don’t jinx it.” I murmured, letting out a heavy sigh.</p>
<p>Amamiya finally spoke up, “Hm. Maybe I should get something sweet instead.” He pondered, more-so thinking out loud.</p>
<p>Sakamoto held his head low, “C’mon, man—we’re already in line for kebabs.” His tone was markedly defeated; in fact, he was an expressive man in all his actions.</p>
<p>“Standing in this heat for so long is certainly trying…” Kitagawa remarked in a similarly dejected way.</p>
<p>Exchanging glances with Takuto, it seemed we both had the same idea. “Hey, Amamiya,” I decided to speak up, “Why don’t you tell us what you want? It’s on me.” Takuto immediately said my name as if in protest, but I quickly waved him away. “Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>“You angel..!” Kitagawa interrupted Amamiya before he even had the chance to accept our offer, “Offering to buy a cold, sweet treat out of the kindness of your heart: you are undoubtedly benevolent! A saint with a beautiful heart!” he stepped away from his friends and closer to me.</p>
<p>“Uh, it’s alright, Kitagawa, really!” I put my hands up to my chest, but I was having fun, “D-did you want something too?”</p>
<p>I could practically see the stars in his eyes, now uncomfortably close to my face. “You would? Truly?” his snicker was strikingly mischievous, and his smirk was especially startling, “Very well. I shall accept your gracious offer.”  </p>
<p>“That’s great and all, but—” I tried to utter. As I stepped back from Kitagawa, I only got closer to Takuto: my back was to his chest and I feared catching the sight of his face. Would he be disgusted or pleased by our nearness? I’d rather not know at this point.</p>
<p>“Dude…” Sakamoto scratched his head, “You’re outta the line.”</p>
<p>“Good luck getting back in.” Amamiya commented amusingly after I heard a distinct meow.</p>
<p>Kitagawa turned around; his grey eyes widened as he came to that realization while his mouth was slightly agape. “My word!” he attempted to stand behind his two friends, but those behind him pushed him back out. “I cannot believe this…”</p>
<p>“That’s awful…” Takuto began. Now that Kitagawa moved away, we put some distance between ourselves again. “Ah, I know! You could go find somewhere to sit with your friends while they wait in line! Or you could get them drinks!’</p>
<p>“And don’t feel too down,” I spoke directly after my friend, “We’ll be sure to get you both you and Amamiya something to eat.”</p>
<p>At this notion, Kitagawa didn’t seem too bothered anymore. In fact, there was a glint of inspiration in his eyes, clenched fists in all as he seemed more determined than ever—a far cry from his display from just a moment ago. “Very well then. I shall make it my duty to find the most beautiful muse in this festival!”</p>
<p>Sakamoto sighed, followed by another cat’s meow. Were there strays here or something? “Do what you gotta do, man. Just don’t get lost.” Before anyone else could get a word in, Kitagawa was already off on some creative venture, and the line Takuto and I were in was finally moving. If I had to guess, there were only about ten people ahead of his—meanwhile, the line Sakamoto and Amamiya were in were still frozen.</p>
<p>“We’ll be sure to get Amamiya’s and Kitagawa’s food to you before we leave this area.” Takuto told the two boys, “Don’t overheat, and remember to drink plenty of water, haha!” And with that, we bid each other a brief goodbye.</p>
<p>With the way Kitagawa grasped at the shaved ice I bought him, I would’ve thought he hasn’t eaten in months, causing a twinge of guilt on my end. I should’ve bought a dessert more filling than <em>kakigori</em>, like a taiyaki parfait or something of that nature. Takuto, of course, reassured me: <em>You did the right thing. You saw how grateful he was for your act of kindness, right? </em>Yeah, maybe Kitagawa was a little too grateful. In<em> fact, I’m more upset you completely refused my offer to pay for it, or at least half… </em>I beamed inwardly. Takuto was a precious man.</p>
<p>“You have quite the eccentric students. I know Kitagawa doesn’t go to Shujin, but he is friends with Sakamoto and Amamiya, after all.” I pointed out to him after we found a spot in the shade to sit down. The shaded areas were far more crowded—we were lucky enough to even find a seat—but they provided a special kind of asylum from the sun’s glaring rays. Even better was the way the frozen delight slid down my throat and the way Takuto’s tongue turned bright blue. I would end up teasing him for it later. “I can see why you love your job so much. You must never be bored around them.”</p>
<p>Takuto smiled, and it was a wholehearted smile that exhibited the love and compassion he had for every single Shujin student. “I’m possibly the luckiest counselor out there.” His warm eyes were completely welcomed, even in this weather. “Sakamoto’s more driven than most people my age. And he’s incredibly stubborn, but in a good way. He doesn’t let people get to him, he’s a great and loyal friend anyone would be lucky to have. I’ve already spoken plenty of Amamiya, but he’s also one of a kind.” I wanted to listen to him speak, so I continued to indulge in the ice. “He has the brightest eyes, full of hope—and I believe it’s that hopeful spirit of his that gets him through all his obstacles unscathed. Now, I don’t know Kitagawa, but it’s easy to see his creativity is what propels him through any situation. They truly are amazing children with promising futures. I’ll always support them.” His words touched my heart. He was possibly the most genuine man I’d ever met.</p>
<p>“You’re a good man, Takuto,” was all I could say in response.</p>
<p>“If I don’t encourage them,” he quickly replied, not one for praise, “who will?”</p>
<p>“I’ll support them with you.”</p>
<p>It became an unbreakable promise between us.</p>
<p>The rest of the day with Takuto was spent sampling the many dishes the festival had to offer and, now with iced beverages (water for me, Ramune for him), the high temperature became something of a trivial matter. Takuto could be quite expressive, especially when it came to food: his face puckered when we tried the Ume Ame, and his cheeks flushed when he accidentally dipped the tender kebab meat into a spicy sauce. We spent so much of our time laughing together, without a care in the world.</p>
<p>“Hey, Takuto,” I called for him as our bellies were full, “You any good at the games here? When I’d go to festivals with my friends back in high school, we always made it a tradition to play <em>senbonhiki</em> before we left. Honestly, though, it’s more luck than anything…”</p>
<p>“Has it really been that long since you’ve attended a festival?” Takuto chuckled, “Sure, I don’t have anywhere to be. There aren’t as many people around anymore, either.”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately,” I chided back as we changed our course to the closest games stall, “it has been. Which is why I’m extra grateful you invited me today.”</p>
<p>Takuto’s eyes widened ever so slightly, as if he was taken aback by my comment. “O-oh, is that so? In truth, I haven’t been to a festival in a few years as well. So, um, I’m grateful you accepted my invitation! I had a lot of fun with you today.”</p>
<p>My heart pounded in my chest; he had a way of instantly making my stomach knot in the best possible way. “I had fun with you too.” I think I’ll regret the amount of money I spent today, though…I should’ve asked that Amamiya kid for some cash, considering how loaded I suspected him of being. “Oh, look!” I pointed ahead of us. “It’s a <em>senbonhiki </em>stand!”</p>
<p><em>Senbonhiki</em>: it was like the lottery, but more fun. Tugging on the strings to feel for the heaviest (not always the best strategy—sometimes the prizes were rocks), pulling it up to see what I won, something about it is exhilarating. I still have all the prizes I won from when I was young tucked somewhere in my childhood bedroom. “Why don’t we give each other the presents we won?” I suggested as we both paid the small fare.</p>
<p>Takuto’s concentration was mostly on the strings themselves as I judged their weights. “You mean like a memento?” he said softly.</p>
<p>“Yes. Exactly like a memento. And as a sign of our mutual gratitude.” I gave a test-tug to one of the strings I felt satisfied with.</p>
<p>Takuto giggled, “You’re always full of great ideas, aren’t you?” he skipped the test-tug and jumped straight to pulling his choice up.</p>
<p>I won a candy bar. Takuto was luckier (in my mind, at least) with his Jack Frost doll.</p>
<p>“This is yours, <em>hee-ho!</em>” the man presented the doll to me with the most kindhearted smile he’d ever given me. I nearly fainted as I gleefully accepted it and handed him the candy bar in return.*</p>
<p>“Hardly an equal exchange, <em>ho.</em>” I spiritedly echoed, a faint pout on my face.</p>
<p>Takuto wasted no time in unwrapping the candy, “You seem to forget how much I love sweets. Look, it’s even green-apple flavored!”</p>
<p>“Fine, fine.” My lips curved and my heart fluttered. Jack Frost was supposed to be a symbol of winter, and yet, I could feel Takuto’s warmth as I held the plushie close to my chest. I was a grown adult, but I was sure I’d be sleeping holding it close to me, unashamedly pretending it was the man I loved. “It’s getting late, though. Did you want to walk around Odaiba before heading home? I heard they’re building a stadium, and—”</p>
<p>“No.” he abruptly said, his face having lost all semblance of Takuto’s usual self for only a brief moment: warmth replaced with chilliness, a distressed expression taking place of his tender one. His smile reformed, but I wouldn’t forget how distraught he looked at the mere <em>mention</em> of the stadium. “I mean—I’m sorry, I actually just thought of something I could use in my paper. I know I said no research, but I suddenly had a great idea and don’t want to lose it.”</p>
<p>“O-oh. Alright then.” I murmured; my back slouched over.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry! Please, don’t be offended! I really did have a great time with you.” he bowed apologetically, “Be safe going home, okay? Text me when you get home.”</p>
<p>Takuto was gone, and I was left alone next to children playing <em>senbonhiki. </em></p>
<p>The memory of his expression instantly changing at the mention of Odaiba’s stadium puzzled me to no end. He told me it was something about his paper, but there had to be more to it I didn’t know about it. It reminded me there was still so much I didn’t know about Takuto—what right did I have to call him my friend? My crush? I didn’t even have the courage to stop him when he left, to ask him what was wrong, or anything. Even now, far from the festival grounds, I haven’t texted him. I had no power to console him; all I did was hold the part of Takuto that could never leave me. Truthfully, I didn’t want to go home with the thoughts weighing heavily on me. My mind wandered to the two boys I met today, along with Amamiya. Takuto sang such heavy praise of them—even of Kitagawa, the one he didn’t know. I hoped he afforded me the same acclaim despite not being particularly remarkable.</p>
<p>I had subconsciously brought myself to the stadium. The construction had barely begun, it seemed. My head empty, I stared at the sight of it all: the iron bars, the excavators, the bulldozers, the tower crane towering over the foundation…it all felt wrong to me. It was something I couldn’t begin to describe—and if I tried, I’d probably be written off as crazy or superstitious—but just felt deep within the pits of my stomach. I was uncomfortable and agonized here.</p>
<p>I started for the train station, but nearly bumped into a girl. Her hair was the first thing that caught my eye: a vibrant shade of crimson—it was beautiful, really—and the bow holding her ponytail up was a cute touch. She was young but put together. “My apologies.” I said under my breath.</p>
<p>“N-no, I’m sorry for getting in your way!” she stammered back. I recognized her as a Shujin student; I wondered if she knew I was her store clerk, too. Eventually, I arrived at the train station, where I blasted music the entire ride home. After being with Takuto all day, I hated being without him again.</p>
<p>Sometime later, I received a call from Takuto. Not caring about impressions, I picked it up after the first ring. “Hello…?”</p>
<p>“Hello! I’m glad I could get ahold of you. You didn’t text me, so I was worried.” There was obvious guilt laced within his voice.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, it completely slipped my mind. I get home a while ago, though. I’m safe.”</p>
<p>“That’s a relief. So, I just wanted to explain myself.” I had a feeling it wasn’t going to be the explanation that I was truly looking for. “You see, with both you and Amamiya’s help, my research has been going rather smoothly. I’m very proud of the progress I’ve made, but it was only thanks to you two.”</p>
<p>I smiled.</p>
<p>“There was another reason I wanted to invite you out today: I’m going to be quite busy as I gather my thoughts together and consolidate my thesis, so I need to put our meetings on hold for about a month or so.”</p>
<p>The smile faded.</p>
<p>“But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to see you again. When I finish this one section of my paper, I need to start studying another portion of it. Have you been to Book Town?”</p>
<p>“Book Town? Yes, I get a lot of my textbooks there.” I replied downheartedly. We were still friends—Takuto even said it himself, he wants to see me again—but <em>Mondays with Maruki</em> was something I came to look forward to every week, the one routine I actually enjoyed!</p>
<p>There was a small pause; he probably heard how disappointed I sounded. I felt like an idiot for making this man feel guilty. “I’d like you to accompany me again, if possible. I’ll be looking for books on a certain obscure topic.”</p>
<p>“If you think I’d be helpful, then yes. I’d love to come.” No hesitation on my end; I’d never pass up an opportunity to hang out with Takuto.</p>
<p>“Great! We won’t be seeing much of each other outside of your store, but let’s keep in touch, okay? You have my number.” He sounded cheerful again.</p>
<p>“I will, Takuto.”</p>
<p>We said goodbye, good night, and hung up. That night, I clutched Jack Frost tightly, wondering just how I’ll get through the month without Takuto’s cognizance, his unique charm and hearing his soothing voice in person. It took a long time for me to fall asleep.</p>
<p>The emptiness of Takuto’s absence would only be compounded by the rise of Medjed later that month. I was like everyone else, at first: terrified of the purge, but one thought and only thought alone comforted me: The Phantom Thieves would handle this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>sorry for the super long chapter LOL !!! but i had tons of fun writing this one, it's cute and funny and reader-san has now met a total of four phantom thieves !! </p>
<p>*5/31/2020: hello ! i'm here with an edit!<br/>i drew the scene i asterisked because i loved the mental image of it so much ,, here it is !!<br/></p>
<p>can't wait for chapter five ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. the month without maruki</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>no maruki here but i hope u enjoy !!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>We are disappointed in the people of Japan and their belief in the Phantom Thieves’ false justice. Hence, we shall proceed with our plan to cleanse Japan. This process will commence on August 21<sup>st</sup>. As a result, the Japanese economy shall suffer devastating damages. However, we are magnanimous. We will give the Phantom Thieves one final opportunity to repent. As proof of their repentance, we demand that they reveal their identities to the public. We will attack if these demands remain unmet. The future of Japan rests with the Phantom Thieves. We are Medjed. We are unseen. We will eliminate evil. </em>
</p><p>It was impossible to go anywhere without hearing of Medjed’s warning to the people of Japan. The Day of Cleansing was also set for the day Takuto and I were supposed to go to Book Town: Sunday, August 21<sup>st</sup>.</p><p>There was something that didn’t sit right with me: Medjed, in the past, was known for exposing corruption as grey-hat hackers—so why target innocent people? Why would they attempt to wreck an entire country’s economy over the Phantom Thieves? Thinking further, the Phantom Thieves had to use some form of electronic communication if they are indeed a group and not just one person. Encryption exists, but if they could hack into government files, why not text messages to expose the Phantom Thieves themselves? It was mind-numbing to Takuto and I, who frequently spoke of the Medjed Menaced over SMS:</p><p><em>There’s lots of free-floating anxiety over Medjed, </em>he texted me one night, <em>how are you holding up?</em></p><p><em>I’d probably be better if I could see you. </em>But I didn’t have the courage to brazenly tell him my honest feelings like that.</p><p>Instead: <em>I’m managing, for the most part. Don’t forget to take care of yourself too. </em></p><p>The month without Takuto was plagued with a special kind of loneliness; it was unbearable at times. The pain of it all hit hardest on my sleepless nights, where I spent hours staring up at the ceiling above me, clinging to Jack Frost, shaking, trembling, anxiously counting down the days until I could spend time with him again. I almost missed how excited I would get seeing him walk through the doors of my store. Now, after having spent more meaningful time with him—knowing how good it felt to be around him as his friend and not as my customer—ringing him up was a bore. I should’ve been grateful we were still communicating over the phone, but I missed his laugh, his awkward smile, and his other memorable and endearing behaviors. Frankly, I couldn’t believe how hard I’d fallen for the man: Takuto Maruki, the counselor of Shujin Academy and a researcher of psychological treatments.</p><p>The Medjed Menace would continue to be a prevailing topic for the rest of July and through most of August. And, with no classes until September, I really had nothing to do but work. As Shujin finished its term and entered summer vacation as well, I was truly alone, and without Takuto, for much longer than I could bear. I came to appreciate handing him his change once again.</p><p>I passed my finals, for the most part, but I had no one to celebrate with—I don’t think I would’ve been up for it anyway. I told my parents. They said they were proud of me.</p><p>The day I received my first term grades, I elected to treat myself to a nice cup of Leblanc coffee and curry. In hindsight, I didn’t realize how long it had truly been since I enjoyed lunch from my favorite coffee shop—I almost felt ashamed! I’d been eating Big Bang Burger far too much for my tastes. So, after my shift, I went straight for Leblanc. I had nothing to study for—aside from summer homework, which I didn’t think to bring—so I’d just be relaxing for once, maybe talk to Boss for some time too.</p><p>Come to think of it, I never brought Leblanc up to Takuto. Did he like coffee or was he more of a tea person?</p><p>I couldn’t stop thinking about him.</p><p>I packed myself into the train, my back pushed up against the wall of the doors. For the entire ride, I squeezed my eyes shut to lose myself in my music: all I wanted right now was to block out the world around me. To numb myself from my despondency, and to forget about my pitiful nature for being so torn up about this. When Yongen was called, I reluctantly reentered reality with an intense craving for Leblanc curry.</p><p>The bell chimed upon my entrance; my bag clutched tightly to my side as I softly greeted Boss. My entire body was tense—did he notice this? He did hesitate when he said my name…or, maybe, he just forgot me. He was old, after all.</p><p>“Hey. I haven’t seen you around. You been alright?” Boss asked me in his usual low tone as he washed dishes.</p><p>“More or less. I’ve been busy with school and work, you know.” I answered, attempting to sound cheerful. Pulling out the chair at the edge of the counter, I breathed in the aromatic coffee, instantly feeling more at ease.</p><p>The older man eyed me before giving a tight smile. “Glad to hear it. What’ll it be, then?”</p><p>“The usual.” He definitely suspected me of something. “Oh, and some curry today, too. I didn’t eat breakfast.”</p><p>“Got it. Coming right up.”</p><p><em>There’s no one else here</em>, I concluded after a quick glance behind me, <em>alone again. </em>My gaze was averted to the painting hung right in next to the door, where it completely captivated my attention. The brush strokes, use of color and the overall tone of the piece: it was beautiful and evocative. I could’ve sworn I’ve seen it before, but something seemed different about it. One thing I was sure of, at least, was that it wasn’t here before Mondays with Maruki became a thing.</p><p>“Hey Boss,” I called absentmindedly as he handed me my coffee, “Where did you get this painting? It’s stunning.”</p><p>“Oh, that old thing?” he remarked somewhat smugly while stirring the pot of curry. The blend of spices filled the room, prompting a growl of my stomach. “It was a gift from a friend.”</p><p>The cup felt hot to the touch. After adding a touch of cream, I let it sit for just a moment to cool down. “You must have some cultured friends.” I chuckled.</p><p>The coffee itself was earthy, full of body and rich in flavor. Seriously, my customers were missing out on coffee brewed <em>correctly.</em> The hot liquid touched my lips when Boss placed the plate of curry in front of me. It was enough to make me feel right at home. After thanking him, I dug right in while watching a video on my phone. Later, I faintly heard the bell ring after Boss said he’d be grabbing something from upstairs, but I was too engrossed in the dish to look up. That was, until:</p><p>“Oh, you’re…” the voice sounded vaguely familiar.</p><p>My eyes met his grey ones: it was Kitagawa, from the festival the other day. I pulled the earbuds out of my ears, to which I greeted him with a polite smile and a wave. “Hey. I’m surprised you remembered me.” He sat down in the chair next to mine.</p><p>"How could I not?!” he immediately said, a smirk on his face, “Thanks to you, I was left with enough money to purchase a riveting Daruma doll! I believe it shall inspire my next painting.” The smirk faded; his expression quickly became more strained. “Although, I had to ask Ryuji to pay for my train fare.”</p><p>I remembered how guilty I felt back then, and hearing his story only made me regret buying only shaved ice for him once more. “I-I see.” I started timidly, “It was no problem at all, really.”</p><p>The stairs creaked louder and louder, upon which Boss reappeared. “Oh, Yusuke. Ren’ll be down in a minute.” He said nonchalantly as he stepped back behind the counter. “I’ll be out grabbing some groceries.”</p><p>
  <em>Ren? Amamiya was here? </em>
</p><p>“Of course. See you, Boss.” Kitagawa nodded, his posture relaxed.</p><p>Silence filled the café—apart from the sound of the TV—until Amamiya stepped down, following suit of Boss. He had a bag slung over his arm, which…carried a small black cat? Did he take that cat with him everywhere? Is <em>that</em> why I always heard meowing around him? “Yusuke, you’re here earlier than expected.” He spoke coolly, donning a sage-green apron. Meanwhile, the cat jumped up and sat in one of the booths, leaning into the conversation as if he could understand us.</p><p>“Yes, I managed to catch the train just as it was departing the station.” Kitagawa said, exuding pride. He was proud of himself for that?</p><p>Amamiya’s attention shifted to me as he began brewing some new pots of coffee. “And Doctor Maruki’s friend! Hey.”</p><p>“We keep running into each other.” I pointed out, unable to avert my gaze from the cat who kept meowing. “Your cat…” he hissed at me, for some reason, “He’s talkative. What’s his name?”</p><p>“Huh? Oh. My <em>cat</em>.” Amamiya had something of a mischievous grin, “He’s Morgana. My <em>poor little</em> <em>cat</em> doesn’t like being alone, so he follows me everywhere.” He put heavy emphasis on the word cat. Morgana didn’t look too pleased: his back had a slight arch to it. Amamiya placed a cup of coffee in front of Kitagawa, seemingly already knowing his order.</p><p>Kitagawa closed his eyes, satisfied. “Mona’s quite the strange cat.”</p><p>“Huh,” I start, utterly confused—were they somehow teasing Morgana? “Maybe he was a dog in his past life. Hey, do you think I could have another cup?” I asked gingerly, pushing my empty cup in front of me.</p><p>“Sure thing.” Amamiya responded, swiftly taking the mug, and replacing it with another fresh batch. He was younger and far nimbler than Boss was, unsurprisingly.</p><p>After staring at the steam rising from the coffee, I looked back to the young barista. “Do you live here, Amamiya? Or nearby?”</p><p>Kitagawa was the one to answer, “He humbly lives upstairs. I quite like it.”</p><p>That caught me off guard, evident by my widened eyes. “So, does that mean Boss is your dad? I had no idea he had kids.”</p><p>“We’re not even related,” Amamiya said introspectively as he began to wipe the counter, “But sometimes I like to think of him as my dad. Don’t tell him I said that, though. He’d laugh in my face.”</p><p>Kitagawa snickered, “You two have a truly close relationship. I would like to capture that intimacy if you would allow me to.”</p><p>“Good luck getting Boss to agree to that, Kitagawa.” I playfully mused back together with Morgana’s meow. “Still, though…you’re a second year, and yet I’ve only just seen you this year. I don’t know if you realized, but I work the convenience store by your school. It’s how I met Takuto too. Did you just transfer here?” I asked, taking a small sip of the coffee; it wasn’t as rich as Boss’s, but it was still as flavorful, nonetheless.</p><p>Kitagawa cleared his throat, a hand thoughtfully combing through his hair. “Well, you see, Ren is on probation here.”</p><p>“Probation?” my brows furrowed, “Oh, you’re that kid from the rumors! You seem so nice, though.”</p><p>"That’s right.” Amamiya idly said, “But not many people know the full story.” He seemed so carefree about it. What could a quiet high schooler like him really be capable of?</p><p> “What is the full story, then?”</p><p>“Yusuke?”</p><p>Kitagawa nodded, leaning forward with his elbows resting on the countertop. “He was falsely accused of assault. Truthfully, he was attempting to rescue a woman from harassment…” his voice drifted, grimacing slightly.</p><p>“Oh…” my fists clenched, my nails digging deeply into my flesh. What bullshit—and that man got off scot-free, I assume? “That’s terrible. You seem to be just alright, though. I’m glad you have such supportive friends like Kitagawa and Sakamoto, and that Boss is a good guardian.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s all in the past now.” Amamiya commented as he leaned on the wall behind him. “I don’t let it get to me anymore.”</p><p>“That takes a lot of strength, you know.” My voice was quiet and contemplative, “I can see why Takuto finds you so admirable.”</p><p>“Ren is among the strongest people I know.” Kitagawa exchanged looks with Amamiya and even Morgana, as if they all knew something I didn’t. They were friends, after all—and close too, by the looks of it.</p><p>Amamiya stuffed his hands in his pocket. “That reminds me…are you and Doctor Maruki dating or anything?” My face immediately ran hot to the touch as my heart pounded in my chest; I could already feel sweat start to break on my forehead too.</p><p>“D-dating? Where did you get that from, haha…” I sighed shakily before continuing, “We’re not dating, but—”</p><p>“But you like him, don’t you?” Bingo. God damn you, kid; I thought I was doing a decent job hiding my feelings too.</p><p>My head low, I nodded reluctantly. “Please, please don’t tell him. Our relationship needs to remain purely professional for the time being. Maybe one day I’ll confess my feelings, I just—I just don’t know when that could be, or if I could do it.”</p><p>Amamiya stepped closer to me, reaching across to put a comforting hand on my shoulder, while Kitagawa watched us, observing intently. “I believe in you. He needs a partner to set him straight—he’s all awkward as it is now. And you feel it too, don’t you?” his hand fell back to his side as kind, not intimidating or piercing, eyes stared into mine. “His loneliness.”</p><p>I never realized it until now, but he had a point: his brooding expression when he thinks he’s alone, his sudden jumpiness at the mention of Odaiba…there was much more to Takuto than met the eye. Right as I was about to agree, Kitagawa stood up, leaving a few bills on the table. “I should be taking my leave now. I wanted to browse the secondhand shop just ahead, but the smell of coffee was far too enticing…” he cleared his throat, starting for the door, “Anyway, see you, Ren.” He said goodbye to me as well.</p><p>“I’ll catch up with you when Sojiro gets back.” Amamiya waved, and Kitagawa left. The door shut before the young man spoke again. “I’m worried about him. His questions during my research sessions can be, well—kind of concerning?”</p><p>I closed my eyes, thinking back to my own sessions. How did Takuto react to my answers? How exactly did he speak when he asked the tougher questions? What was that rebellious look in his eye when we conversed about pain? About tragedy? It was mind-boggling and overwhelming. “I didn’t catch it at the time.” I murmured, “But looking back, you’re right. I might’ve been pushing my suspicions down too, though. It’s like he’s wearing a mask…”</p><p>Amamiya appeared to stiffen at the mention of a mask. We agreed, then? “Yeah.”</p><p>He was much kinder than I initially expected—was Takuto rubbing off on him? Compared to how he ostentatious he acted at Big Bang Burger, he was a saint right now: full of empathy and compassion, like he knew exactly how and what I was feeling. “Have you noticed the intense passion he has for his research, Amamiya?”</p><p>“Call me Ren.”</p><p>“Ren, then. Have you?”</p><p>“I have. He’s almost a little too passionate.” Ren’s observations were spot on with mine. Perhaps ‘passionate’ wasn’t the right word; <em>No…maybe, desperate? </em></p><p>“I wonder…” I placed my elbow on the table, propping my head up as I stared in a daze out the window and watched those outside: a woman holding her child’s hand, a man carrying his briefcase on his way to the train station. “Will it ever come to us having to save him from himself?”</p><p>Ren was silent for only a brief moment. “If it does,” he spoke with great resolve, “I wouldn’t hesitate for a second.”</p><p>I looked back to him, my own eyes mirroring his steadfastness, my lips curving into a confident grin. “Good to know we’re on the same page, then.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i was writing this and realized chapter five was waayyy too long, so chapter six should be coming up later tonight <br/>maruki will b back !! and make that 5 phantom thieves reader-san has met :)</p><p>also let me know if first person pov is working for y'all..i'll change it to second person if it helps you connect with the story more! i just wanted to experience with perspectives &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. cognitive psience</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>maruki is bacc !! enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My Book Town “date” finally came, much to my anticipation. I was practically shaking with joy at the prospect of seeing Takuto again and, with Shujin reopening for the term in just a few weeks, seeing him would once again become a regular occurrence.</p><p>On the other hand, it was also the Day of Cleansing, and there was still no word from the Phantom Thieves. Takuto and I had our own doubts about Medjed so, while it couldn’t be said about most others around us, we weren’t worried. Medjed was either incapable or they were powerless to the Phantom Thieves. Ren, whom I exchanged contact information with, was also rather cool about it, as he was with everything. Truthfully, it felt so weird having a teenager’s number in my phone, but the only reason we did it was to keep tabs on Takuto: what questions he’d ask us and how he’d ask them for when our sessions would continue.</p><p>Being as thrilled as I was, I couldn’t sit still at home until our meeting time drew nearer, so I left the house about an hour earlier. Since it was a warm and sunny Sunday, I fully expected Jinbōchō’s Book Town to be completely full—as it was. I didn’t tell Takuto I arrived already. Instead, I told him I just stepped onto Yongen’s platform; he’d be here in about forty-five minutes. <em>That gives me some time, I guess,</em> I thought as I stared at his message.  </p><p>I never really thought of Book Town as a place to “hang out.” The selection of used books was rather sizable, <em>especially </em>that of used textbooks. I got them for much cheaper here than I did buying, or even renting, directly from the university. I usually came here alone with what to buy in mind, so it was just a matter of going in for an hour and then leaving without a second thought. Although, there were a few cute stores here that I never checked out…</p><p>Making my way through the large crowds of people, I spotted one: a Sanrio-themed stationary store. My very first instinct was to buy a pen or notepad for Takuto, but—would he enjoy something so cutesy? Thinking about his character, he probably would; he seemed like the type to gratuitously accept any gift, no matter if he personally liked it or not. With that thought in mind, I started for the door.</p><p>The interior was lit brightly and smelled of fruity perfume, while peppy, upbeat music blasted on the speakers. The merchandise itself was cutesy, as predicted, and the walls were colored a light pastel pink and blue. But—what to buy for Takuto? A pen or notepad would be useful for his profession, but when it’s out of ink or all the pages are filled, it would go in the trashcan, and I didn’t want to think about my gift ending up there. What would an older man like him enjoy, and could be something he used for a long time? I paced the aisles hoping to stumble across something that fit the bill, but to no avail so far. <em>What about a folder? </em></p><p>In that section, I noticed a brown-haired woman—a Shujin student, if my hunch was correct—pondering indecisively over the various notebooks displayed next to the folders. She already held a few items in her other hand. <em>Could she help me?</em> I picked up a paper folder, feeling the sturdy material between my hands. <em>She looks like she knows a lot about this stuff.</em> I took a shot in the dark, “U-um! Excuse me,” I called for her attention, still making sure to speak quietly to not make a scene. “Do you think you could help me?” I asked timidly.</p><p>“Hm?” the girl looked up and to me, “O-okay, sure.” She stepped closer to me. I gave a quick introduction, and she informed me her name was Makoto Niijima.</p><p>“I don’t know if you recognize me. Not a lot of people do.” I said sheepishly, now examining a plastic folder, “I work at the convenience store near your school. I’ve rang you up before, so…I hope I’m not coming across as weird.”</p><p>Niijima gave a polite smile in response. “Not at all. How can I help you?”</p><p>“You see,” I rubbed the nape of my neck, my brows furrowed, “I have this friend who probably goes through a lot of stationary because of his job, so I thought of getting him a pen or notepad, but that would just go in the trash after it’s been completely used up. I didn’t really want that, so…”</p><p>“You wanted to give him something he could use forever, right? I completely understand.” Niijima stepped closer to the shelves, “Does he like cute things?”</p><p>“I’m not sure, but he’s not the type of guy to reject a gift, even if he doesn’t like it.”</p><p>Niijima’s eyes scanned the merchandise before she reached out for one. When she handed it to me, I inspected it rather thoroughly—only the best for Takuto, after all. “This is simple, but still has an element of individuality to it. And the design isn’t as glaring as some of the other ones here.” She was right. It was a plain yellow A4 sized folder (perfect for his notepad pages), with a Gudetama on the bottom right corner. The material was sturdy enough to withstand reasonable bending, while staying light enough to not add too much weight inside his bag. “Plus, who doesn’t like Gudetama?” looking at her, she appeared relatively proud of herself.</p><p>I smiled softly, holding the folder to my chest. “This is perfect. Thank you.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>As I walked away, another thought popped into my mind. Stopping in my tracks, I glanced over my shoulder: Niijima was still there. “Hey, actually—” I turned around once more, facing her. “Sorry if I’m prying, but do you know this guy, Ren Amamiya?”</p><p>Niijima’s body went tense, “O-oh, yes, I do. I’m student council president, after all.” She crossed her arms, conflicted as she bit her lip, “Can I ask why?”</p><p>So, it was true. I had a sneaking suspicion Niijima knew him—I kept running into him or people related to him, no matter where I went. I’m in love with his counselor, who’s researching us both, and I’m a frequent customer of the café he lives in. I ran into him at Big Bang Burger, the summer festival, and the other day at Leblanc; now, here I am, running into another one of his friends. Just how much of this was purely coincidental? No—it had to be fate. “I’m a friend of his. I was just curious, is all.”</p><p>I ended up picking up a similarly styled notepad and pen on my way to the register. As I was checking out, my phone buzzed in my pocket. It was probably Takuto telling me he was here—I ended up being correct.</p><p>
  <em>Hey (Y/N)! I’m here by the station.</em>
</p><p>When would be the best time to give him the gift, I wondered? <em>I’ll meet you there. Just give me a few. </em></p><p>
  <em>You’re already here? Did I keep you waiting for long?</em>
</p><p><em>No!! It’s alright, don’t worry. </em>I stuffed my phone back inside and quickly made my way back to the station, pushing past people if I had to. Between my racing heart and my quick, shallow breaths, I was sure I’d look a complete and total mess in front of Takuto, but after so long, I couldn’t care less. Plus, he’d be concerned, and I’d get to hear his sweet voice console me…it was indescribable how much I missed that man.</p><p>With vision like a hawk, I quickly spotted Takuto and had to control myself from sprinting towards him. “Takuto!” I waved to him, my legs trembling, “It’s so nice to see you again.”</p><p>Takuto greeted me with his usual, beloved kind smile. “I feel the same way. It’s been far too long.”</p><p>Him saying something like that so nonchalantly, how dare he? I was beyond flustered. “S-so, um—what was it you’re looking for again?” I stood close to him as we walked ahead.</p><p>Takuto spent a good amount of time surveying the shops in front of us. “This book I read about online. I saw that it might be here—I hope it still is.” He spoke in a low tone.</p><p>“What’s it about?” I asked curiously, my head cocked.</p><p>Takuto was silent for a moment, his body stiffened. “It’s about what I’m researching: cognitive psience.” There was a distinct shake and uneasiness in his voice—it reminded me of the incident in Odaiba.</p><p>He never told me the exact topic he was studying, just that it was a branch of psychology, and that it focused on locating and treating patient’s traumas. Cognitive psience, it was? Maybe I should bring this up with Ren later—did he know the name as well? “Alright!” I tried to sound chipper, “Let’s try to find it.”</p><p>Takuto’s posture relaxed once more, a tender chuckle forming in his throat, “You know, this reminds me of when we first met at your store. You helped me find something back then too. Funny how life always circles back like that, huh?” the loneliness he vocalized was hard to ignore.</p><p>Still, it warmed my heart that he remembered our first meeting. My eyes softened as my gaze met his, “You’re right. I’m always happy to help you, Takuto.”</p><p>“I know, I know.” He sighed, obviously flustered as a faint blush appeared on his cheeks, “I’m so glad we met.”</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>“I don’t know what I’d do without you, or where I’d be…” he continued.</p><p>
  <em>I can’t take this. He’s too cute.</em>
</p><p>“You’re a wonderful person, (Y/N). I’m so happy we’re friends.”</p><p>My vision grew blurry—was it my lightheadedness? A warmth spilled over and flowed down my face, but I quickly wiped them away and hid my face from the man next to me: tears. I was crying—crying because I was thrilled by his kind words, but also terribly and utterly heartbroken. I’d never have this man because when I gazed into his eyes with all the love and affection I could muster, he’d stare back with an expression that practically tore into me: <em>let’s be friends.</em> I knew it was so this whole time, and it was time I started being honest with myself. The folder in my bag meant as a gift for Takuto—what right did I have to give it to him?</p><p>I felt Takuto’s hand on my back as it was turned towards him, and I did not falter. I was inconsolable for the time being. And these feelings of mine…they weren’t going away anytime soon. I’d just have to grin and bear it for now.</p><p>I sniffed quietly, my eyes red and irritated. A faint, “I’m sorry,” was all I could muster.</p><p>Takuto’s own eyes were wide open in shock, “N-no, please don’t apologize!” he gingerly rubbed my back. I wish he’d stop. “Was it something I said?”</p><p>“Not at all.” I smiled, lying through my teeth. “I was just a little surprised. I’m not used to getting so many compliments at once.”</p><p>“Ah, I see.” He looked away for a minute, worry placating his face. “Do you think you’ll be alright to keep shopping? I don’t want you to push yourself, so please be honest with me.”</p><p>A moment’s hesitation before a reluctant nod. I felt so stupid for ruining our day together, a happy reunion turned sour. “I’m okay. I promise you. Let’s go find your book!” The mask I donned to appear cheerful and unbothered…could it ever be taken off? Did I have the strength and willpower to even attempt to do so?</p><p>We ended up finding the book, the final copy left in stock, rather early on; with so much daylight left, Takuto suggested we hold a quick research over lunch.</p><p>“I’m good on Big Bang Burger. Have you heard of Leblanc? It’s a small coffee shop in Yongen.” I said thoughtfully.</p><p>“Mm…” Takuto hummed, “I’d love to try it one day, but I actually have an errand to attend to in Shibuya later today. How about that beef bowl shop on Central Street—Ore no Beku, I believe?”</p><p>Maybe then would be a good time to give him his folder? I certainly couldn’t hold onto it myself; I know I’d eventually come to regret it. “That’s fine with me.” I plainly said back. The train ride to Shibuya was a quiet one. The tension between us was palpable, and I felt a fool for creating the gap between us.</p><p>The smell immediately hit me. It was savory, rich with umami—mouthwatering, to say the least. As if on cue, my stomach growled, to which I flinched. Did Takuto hear? I ordered a small natto bowl, while Takuto ordered a medium barbeque bowl. Takuto and I engaged in menial small talk as we watched the employee hustle to fulfill everyone’s orders. We both felt bad for him.</p><p>“Alright, let’s get started, then. Are you ready?” Takuto reached into his bag and pulled out his notepad, but his eyes widened. He was visibly disappointed—in himself, perhaps?</p><p>“What’s wrong?” I spoke, observing his frantic search in his bag.</p><p>“Um…I forgot my pen. And I’m out of pages in my notepad.” Takuto sighed exasperatedly, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear. “I can’t believe I’d forget something like that. How unprofessional…”</p><p>I was stunned—my earlier inclination to buy him those exact items were something of a prophecy, as it seemed; it felt like that happened frequently. “Actually—and this is kind of embarrassing, but—” I dug in my own backpack, feeling around for the soft texture and crinkle of the plastic bag. “I have something for you, Takuto.” I said timidly, setting his gift on the table. Sanrio’s logo was printed on the bag.</p><p>“W-what’s this? You didn’t have to do this…” regardless, Takuto reached inside the bag and withdrew the yellow notepad, to which the white metal pen was attached. “Wow…this is so sweet of you, (Y/N). Thank you so much, truly.” he looked genuinely pleased. I was satisfied. “Oh, is this Gudetama? I love Gudetama!” he chuckled softly, wrapping the folder up in the bag and setting it in his bag. I needed to thank Niijima somehow… “Alright, let’s <em>really</em> get started.”</p><p>I nodded, a faint smile on my face. Despite the way my mind was buzzing with both positive and negative thoughts, I was at peace in this moment. I was useful to Takuto in a way beyond his research.</p><p>“So, let’s see here…” he scanned the notes from our previous session in his old notebook, his pen twirling in his other hands. He had gotten better at it, but it was still rather clumsy. “Ah! We were talking about identifying trauma, right?”</p><p>“Yes, that’s right.” The natto felt gooey in my mouth. “Or, at least, I think so.”</p><p>Takuto clicked the pen, that hopeful glint in his eye reappearing as it did every session. “You know when you get a cut, you can see it: it bleeds, so you clean it and sometimes treat it with antibiotics? And in a few days, it’s healed without leaving a scar—most of the time, at least. It’s somewhat analogous to treating psychological ‘cuts,’ but…”</p><p>“But you can’t just bandage it up and leave it to heal on its own,” I answered for him, remembering some of his words of wisdom, “Psychological pain is a lot more nuanced and complicated than a simple cut.”</p><p>“Oh, how astute of you!” Takuto smiled, leaning forward, “On top of that, it’s not easily identifiable. And there isn’t really a way to directly treat it in a healthy way, like putting antibiotics on a scratch. For now, at least.”</p><p>“Is that what cognitive psience aims to do?” I inquired.</p><p>Takuto nodded slowly. “Yes. That’s the goal of my research. There’s one vital reason why it’s so useful in being the key to unlocking the mysteries of how trauma affects the mind—or heart, if you will. Let’s say…I’ve just heard some horrible news. The natural response to that would be to feel woeful, right? But would you necessarily understand just <em>how</em> painful that news was to me?”</p><p>I shook my head, listening intently to his words, “No. Because how I interpret bad news—or how <em>bad</em> the bad news was—might be different from your own interpretation Is that right?”</p><p>“That’s exactly correct. It seems obvious, but it’s so important to understand. Psychological pain is subjective and on a rather grand scale…it’s mind-boggling, really.” Takuto quickly scribbled some notes down before he spoke again, “In other words, a person’s ‘heart’—their trauma—cannot be seen, no matter how long they spend expressing the extent of their pain to other people, even to people like me: that’s the abstractness we’re dealing with here.”</p><p>“I see…” I spoke quietly. He did have a point—even people who experience the exact same traumatic event won’t walk away from it in the exact same state. “It’s impossible to look directly in one’s heart. It must be frustrating as a counselor…”<br/>
“It’s beyond frustrating.” Takuto said with a frown and knitted eyebrows. “But it can change if I just do further research into cognitive psience. I need to learn how the mind and the heart react and adapt to the environment it’s in.”<br/>
"This, cognitive psience…” I started, my lips pursed, “What exactly does it do?”</p><p>“It examines cognition. There’s a branch called cognitive psychology, but cognitive psience is different. How do we view the world? How do we wish the world to be? How do our desires drive our goals and cognitions? It’s even more abstract if you can believe it.” Takuto…he looked so tired. “But, anyway…if I can perfect this, we may even discover and comprehend a kind of psychological pains we never knew about before, but we’ll be able to effectively treat patients who were once desolate. Those people who need more than our conventional methods to truly move on—that’s who I’m working for.”</p><p>I thought back on my conversation with Ren a little under a month ago. There was no mistaking it: Takuto’s passion and drive for his research was unrivaled. It was so inspiring, and yet so terrifying—just what was he willing to do to see his plan come to fruition? How much was he willing to hurt himself for the sake of his goal? Regardless of my concern, whether they were warranted or not, I believed in Takuto to accomplish this: “You’re doing great work. I know I say it a lot, but I just want to remind you of it. I believe in you. I really, really do.”</p><p>Takuto’s face flushed, eyebrows raised. “Haha, thank you, (Y/N). But I’m not doing it for the fame. If I can help people move on from what troubles them—that’s what truly matters to me. I’m no fan of pain, myself, you see.”</p><p>I laughed quietly, but his words struck a chord within me. “I don’t think anyone is.”</p><p>The older man’s head fell, his gaze towards the ground as he appeared troubled once more. “You know,” he looked back up at me. Yes, Takuto—keep your head up. Please. “A lot of people have laughed at me, called my aspirations nothing more than a pipe dream…I can’t say I necessarily blame them. Cognitive psience is under-researched and not understood by any means, after all. But you’re different. You and Amamiya.”</p><p>I wanted nothing more than to reach across the table and hold him close to me. I couldn’t shake how disquieted I was by his behavior: calm on the surface, but what lied underneath his friendly demeanor? “Anyone who says isn’t paying attention to what you have to say. You obviously have a deep understanding of trauma, not to mention how insightful you can be…” my voice trailed off.</p><p>“It’s alright. It’s in the past now. The point is, you two listen to me and try to understand me. And, as a result, my grasp on this subject is becoming so much clearer! My once hazy ideas have finally appeared for me. I can’t thank you enough."</p><p>A small sheepish smile. “It’s my pleasure.” I sighed, feeling a bit fatigued from how turbulent today was. “Takuto—today’s the Cleanse.”</p><p>“So it is…” he murmured as he jotted some notes down. It warmed my heart to see him use the pen and notepad I bought him. “Do you still in believe in the Phantom Thieves?”</p><p>Without a moment’s delay, I nodded. “Of course. I actually, um, I have to tell you something.” I felt my stomach turn, but it was fine. I didn’t want to keep this a secret from him anymore.</p><p>“Oh? What is it, (Y/N)?” he asked me gently.</p><p>“The Phantom Thieves, they—" I took a deep breath before continuing, “Do you remember what I told you? About my mother, back during out first session?”</p><p>He nodded pensively. “Yes, of course. Her employer was abusing his power and forcing her to work beyond her limits.”</p><p>“He wasn’t fired.” I quickly snapped, “It was the Phantom Thieves, I asked them to ‘change his heart.’ And they did! They listened to my request while they take on perv teachers and mafia bosses!”</p><p>Takuto watched me with inquisitive eyes, but the smile he wore on his face was encouraging. He had the power to validate me just with his smile alone. “They did, huh?” he closed his notepad before speaking again. It seemed to me he knew something—something about the Phantom Thieves. “I believe they can take on Medjed as well.”</p><p>Later, we went home. I slept fairly well, despite everything. The next morning, I checked my bank account for signs of the cleanse.</p><p>The Phantom Thieves took Medjed on. They took Medjed on and <em>won</em>. Their threats to Japan remained unimplemented and the group’s rise to stardom following their victory was astronomical: the saviors of Japan.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>six pt's now !! only a few more left :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. the rise of the phantom thieves</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even as an avid Phan, this craze following the Phantom Thieves’ victory of the Medjed Menace was overwhelming at times. Unconditional and unquestioning support of anything was never a good thing, whether it be the vigilante group currently rocking the world, the government, or anything else; it’s an absolute must to maintain a skeptical mindset regardless of the benevolence the Phantom Thieves have portrayed themselves to be.</p><p>Of course, I was saying all that while quietly cheering them on myself. It’s much easier to be part of the fickle masses rather than think for myself—especially when any criticism of them is immediately met with backlash. Goro Akechi, a young man once adored by many, is now an outcast to society seeing as how he always condemned the Phantom Thieves and cautioned us to remain wary of them. He had a point, of course. We have no idea what their methods are and if what they’re doing is even ethical, but what did I care? They helped my mom.</p><p>It was somewhat eerie hanging up Phantom Thief fixtures outside and selling paraphernalia such as calling cards, pins, and posters when it was forbidden to speak of them to customers just a few days prior. One of my co-workers told me I should sell my two calling cards; they’re worth a fortune now, she says. She was right: the average bids were in the <em>millions.</em> But to give away my one tangible connection to the mystical Phantom Thieves—it was something I wasn’t willing to do, even with the money hanging over my head. She told me I’m stubborn; she would be right about that as well.</p><p>Supposedly, Ren wasn’t having any sessions with Takuto, which was understandable given it was summer vacation. On top of that, Ren and his friends, the lucky bastards, are going to Hawaii this month. Some of the faculty was going as well, but much to my delight, Takuto was staying behind. We agreed to meet up again the upcoming Saturday, September 10th; there was no plan of <em>what</em> we’ll be doing yet, but I looked forward to it, nonetheless. I’d probably suggest Leblanc again—he’d absolutely love the curry, since I’ve sometimes spotted Boss throw a little apple in as a secret ingredient.</p><p>And yet, even with all the hustle and bustle and the mania, my last meeting with Takuto still weighed heavily on my mind. He was visibly exhausted: not only physically, but mentally as well. The lines under his eyes grew deeper, thicker, while his voice lost much of the spunk and energy it had when we first met. I didn’t realize that fact at first, though—it wasn’t until I watched one of my recordings from our very first session, at Big Bang Burger. It was Ren devouring the Comet Burger with ease, while we cheered him on. Could one man really age so much in only three months? There was no doubt in my mind he was overworking himself, but how would I even go about confronting him about my grievances? And, knowing him, would he even take me seriously instead of gently brushing me off to tell me he’s doing just fine?</p><p>Ren was the <em>only</em> person who I could vent to about this: about my growing feelings for the man, and of my long list of worries. It was embarrassing to pour my heart out to a high schooler, to be sure, but he seemed to have a knack for listening. He was, of course, naturally quiet as he’d always been, but that wasn’t at all indicative of how busy his mind was. I could see it in his eyes, rife with a will of rebellion. He was a high-spirited kid, fearless and relentless—as the older one, I still felt I had a responsibility to remind him to calm down. He acted so much like an adult sometimes even <em>I </em>forgot his true age. <em>It’s okay to just take life easy for the time being</em>, I’d warn him,<em> you shouldn’t feel any shame in indulging yourself in watching TV, playing video games, and hanging out with your friends after school. The biggest mistake you can make at your age is take on so many adult responsibilities you never experience what it’s like to be a kid.</em> I could practically feel him rolling his eyes and shrugging his shoulders at me, and that was fine. Being stubborn and not listening to adults is what a teenager does.</p><p>He sent me a message the night before his big school trip, informing me of his departure. It was now or never, right? I shot a quick glance at the alarm clock which sat beside my bed—it wasn’t too late yet—would he appreciate a call, or would he prefer texting?</p><p><em>Thanks for letting me know. </em>I start, not yet hitting send as I pondered my next message carefully: <em>Are you free for a quick call? There’s something I want to talk about. It’s about Takuto. </em></p><p><em>Sure thing. Just give me one sec and I’ll call you. </em>Ren quickly responded.</p><p>Now, to play the waiting game. I set my phone on the floor in front of me as I pensively tucked my knees into my chest; this extra time gave me the opportunity to rehearse how I would express my concerns, which I was secretly grateful for. It wasn’t a moment later until Ren called me, to which I swiftly answered.</p><p>“Ren—thanks for making time to call me.” I started apprehensively, fiddling with a loose strand of hair between my fingers, “I had a session with Takuto not too long ago. I wanted to hear your opinions on it.”</p><p>“Sure, of course. What happened?” he inquired, distinctly curious, “Anything new?”</p><p>I nodded to myself, “Yeah, actually. Do you know what he’s studying? The topic, I mean.”</p><p>“Um,” Ren took a moment to answer, “It’s not psychology? Clinical psychology?”</p><p>“It might be a branch of clinical psychology, but I’ve never heard of the term before. If I remember correctly, he called it cognitive psience.”</p><p>There was radio silence on the other line.</p><p>“…Hello? Ren, can you hear me?” I asked timidly.</p><p>I could hear a quiet and frantic meow in the background, “Yeah, sorry, I think it cut out for a second or something.” It almost sounded like I was on speaker now, given the faint echo, “I didn’t know what it was called either. He never told me.”</p><p>“I see…” I narrowed my eyes as I impulsively chewed on the nail of my thumb, “Well, apart from that, the session itself was pretty standard, but I remember him telling me something that stuck with me: he said, ‘I’m no fan of pain myself.’ He looked so miserable when he said it, Ren. I’m so worried for him.” I felt a lump form within my throat; dammit, why now, when I’m talking to a high schooler?</p><p>“I know,” he spoke in a refreshingly gentle tone, “I know. We’re both worried for him.” There was a brief pause before he spoke again, “But he’s so selfless. He never thinks about himself. I honestly think if we suspect him of anything he’ll just retreat into himself and try even harder to act fine. Or maybe he is fine and we’re just overthinking things.”</p><p>“No! That’s not true!” I abruptly retorted, my free hand clenched tightly into a fist, “I can see it, Ren! I just <em>know</em> he’s crying out for help, but he doesn’t know how to ask for it! And he’s not gonna stay at Shujin forever, either—I don’t even know if he’ll still want to talk with either of us after he finishes his paper.” A few tears managed to spill over, but I maintained my composure, despite the slight crack of my voice, “What good can we even do for him? I mean, a high school student and a senior in university compared to a doctorate <em>researcher</em>? It’s pointless!”</p><p>Ren tacitly said my name to calm me down. It worked, but only slightly—my nails dug deeper into my flesh, but I kept my mouth shut, at least. “I think you’re underestimating yourself. And you’re especially underestimating me, too.” What a smug little prick; of course, a response like that was not unexpected from someone like Ren. “It’s obvious we’ve both made an impression on him. You said Doctor Maruki talks about me a lot, yeah? Well, it’s the same on my end—always ‘(Y/N) did this, aren’t they amazing? (Y/N) is so insightful and strong-willed, I’m so lucky to be their friend!’” there it was again. The word that pierced me like a dagger, writhing around in my body as I drowned out the pain it left behind.</p><p>“I didn’t know that.” I sighed shakily, “I guess I did get a little worked up. You’re right, I’m sorry.” No matter how calm I sounded, I couldn’t even begin to attempt to quell my mind of its anxieties. It ran rampant within me, completely overtaking my body—I truly felt like I lost control, unknowing of when I could take it back for myself.</p><p>“I know you’re scared,” he spoke delicately once more, “Believe me, I am too.” I somehow found that hard to believe. “He’s one of the only adult’s who’s ever listened to what I had to say. Most just shrug me off, but not Doctor Maruki. He knows what I’m capable of, and pushes me—and all my friends, too—to do our best.”</p><p>
  <em> “If I don’t encourage them, who will?”</em>
</p><p>Takuto’s words suddenly rang in my ear as if to chastise me: I forgot all about the promise we’d made in Odaiba. I wanted to apologize to Ren for doubting him, for not supporting him, but was right now even the right time? The shame ran thoroughly within me, gashing at my wounds even more profoundly. “And we’re the only people to take his ideas and theories seriously.” I whispered, “Let’s get a little more information before we say anything to him.”</p><p>“Agreed.”</p><p>“But don’t worry about it right now. I’ll be seeing him later this week—I’ll let you know what happens.” I bit my lip, pausing before speaking again, “Just take your mind off it all and enjoy your trip, alright?”</p><p>Ren let out a breathy chuckle in reply. “Yeah, thanks. I’ll try to get back to you when I can.”</p><p>He couldn’t see it, but a timid smile appeared on my face, along with the few tears which had dried up on my cheeks. “Good night, then. Oh, and have a safe flight.”</p><p>“I will, and good night to you, too. Try to take it easy for a while.”</p><p>My phone beeped, and I set my phone down. For some time, I stared at the wall ahead of me, my mind racing while also blank; rather, it was full, and I couldn’t concentrate on a single thought. My surroundings—the whistle of the wind blowing outside, the tick tock of my alarm clock, the cool tile beneath my feet, the staleness of cheap air freshener—were completely blocked out. I was at a loss, despite my earlier plan. Was I really so powerless to help the man I came to love? Dejected, I willingly lost my balance and fell to the floor, curled up in a ball as the dull, ringing pain I felt in my heart and from my skin making heavy contact with the floor.</p><p>I found myself lying in bed late that night wondering what exactly cognitive psience could do to solve my plight: that of my obviously unrequited love to a man who works himself to death with no regards to his own health.</p><p>· · ·</p><p>Saturday quickly arrived as I buried myself in my work and studies. That morning, we briefly discussed where we would spend our evening together, of which we quickly agreed upon Leblanc. Second term had only recently started, but it was already swamped with assignments, readings, and projects, so a night relaxing with Takuto at Leblanc was just what I needed. Ren and his friends wouldn’t be there, and there most likely wouldn’t be any other customers (sorry, Boss), so we would have some semblance of alone time. Plus, maybe Boss could weigh in on some of my concerns about Takuto—whether it was warranted or not, mainly.</p><p>Since I lived in Yongen, we agreed to meet each other at the station neighboring Leblanc at around five in the evening. I left my apartment earlier, just browsing the secondhand shop until it was time. A buzz of my phone prompted me to start towards the location, where I spotted Takuto appearing a bit dazed—but, of course, his expression swiftly reverted to his usual smile and soft eyes. I had to wonder: was he truly happy to see me? Or, like the mask he puts on when he’s interacting with people, was it all an act? It hurt too much to think about. I pushed the thought out of my mind, inevitably saving it for later.</p><p>“Takuto!” I called out gleefully, “Was your ride here alright? I hope it wasn’t too out of the way for you.” I’m hiding something too, Takuto. While your secret dies with you, as does mine, from the looks of it.</p><p>Takuto called my name back, walking side-by-side with me. “No, no, don’t worry! I’m happy to be here. This place—Leblanc, was it? —must be great for you to speak so highly of it. I’m kind of excited.”</p><p>I laughed under my breath, feeling my own excitement bubble within me. “It’s my little treasure. Not many people know about it, so it’s kind of been my refuge away from the world. Oh, and it’s also great for studying since no one really comes in and out.” Again—sorry, Boss.</p><p>Takuto and I arrived just outside the entrance to the café where we felt the steam of the nearby bathhouse on our skin. “Coffee shops are a universal studying location, aren’t they? I used to study at one by my university, back in the day.” He opened the door for me, like a true gentleman, “After you.” he was just so cute.</p><p>I took a step inside, fully breathing in the nutty scent of freshly brewed coffee. There was a young, short girl sitting at the counter with Morgana by her side. She seemed to be having a conversation with Boss before we arrived. “Oh, excuse us…”</p><p>The orange-haired girl winced, almost retreating into herself. What was with all the kids coming into Leblanc? Was she another friend of Ren, too? She looked kind of young to be in high school, though, and I never saw her around Shujin. Boss’s eyes widened, his attention on us for only a moment as he looked back to the girl. “Hey, what did I tell you? Get that cat out of here!”</p><p>Boss spoke rather casually—were they family? Maybe he really did have a secret daughter… Just as I was about to speak, Takuto interrupted my thoughts, “Oh no, please, there’s no need! I’m sorry!” he frantically said, waving his hands back and forth. Morgana let out a quiet meow.</p><p>"Yeah, Boss. It’s fine. I brought him here because I wanted him to try your delicious coffee.” I grinned mischievously, taking my usual seat by the counter. Takuto sat next to me after setting a book down, while the girl, hid away from us in one of the booths, Morgana at her side. Boss poured the house blend for both of us.</p><p>“Does Amamiya live here, too?” Takuto asked, his hands on the hot cup, “I was informed by the school before I began working. It’s a shame we couldn’t run into each other today.”</p><p>Oh, so he knew. I guess that made sense, considering he was one of the main students involved with the Kamoshida case—at least, that’s what Ren told me.</p><p>Boss rubbed the nape of his neck, a seemingly cautious attitude to his voice. “Ah, I see—so you teach at his school, huh? And you,” he turned to me, “you know him?”</p><p>I nodded, taking a small sip of the beverage while Takuto continued to converse with Boss. “Mm, no, not really. I’m just a counselor. And they’re a close friend of mine.”</p><p><em>I’ve been upgraded to </em>close<em> friend now, huh? </em>I chuckled at that thought inwardly.</p><p>“Well, in any case, I apologize for the cat. Usually he stays upstairs.” Boss’s posture became relaxed.</p><p>Takuto quickly shook his head in response. “It’s fine by me, I love animals.” A small pout formed on his face. “They don’t seem to share the sentiment, though.” He finally took a sip of the coffee himself, to which his eyes immediately lit up—he definitely loved it.</p><p>“What do you mean, Takuto?” I teased, setting my elbows on the table, “Do you mean animals don’t like <em>you? </em>How could that be?”</p><p>“Well…” he put a hand on his chin, scratching his stubble, “One time, I tried to rescue a kitten from a tree, but I got the scratching of a lifetime. Oh, I also fell…but the kitten was fine, so it’s alright!”</p><p>I snorted, trying to hold back my laughter—but it was so on character for him. Of course he would do something like that, only to end up getting hurt in the process, and still be glad it turned out well for the kitten. “I’m sure Morgana will like you. Kitagawa and Amamiya told me he’s not like other cats.”</p><p>Morgana whined, and the girl grumbled to him in response. It felt like everyone was talking to this cat, like he could understand and talk back. Takuto twisted over a bit, now facing the two. “You talk with your cat?” they both stiffened as his attention was directed towards them now, “That’s so neat.”</p><p>The young girl kept her own gaze down at the floor, a quiet mumble escaping her throat as she fiddled with her hands. She appeared to be extremely uncomfortable in this situation, like she had some sort of social anxiety with strangers.</p><p>Takuto’s lips tugged into a frown, “Sorry, did I frighten you? My apologies: I just found it impressive, is all.” He shifted to a gentler intonation, as if it were second nature to him. He used it on me when I cried in front of him—I’d imagine this was his counselor voice.</p><p>Boss let out a heavy sigh, “Sorry about the cold shoulder over there.” He looked to her and Morgana, “Just take the cat upstairs, okay? I’ll call you back down when it’s all clear.” He spoke like a father would his daughter.</p><p>“I-it’s alright, Boss.” I started, trying to mirror Takuto’s tone, “We came here pretty late, after all. I understand it completely: if two random people walked through the doors unannounced, I’d be a little scared, too.”</p><p>Morgana sat still, his ears twitching slightly as he mewed at the girl. She nodded<em> (they really do talk to each other, holy shit)</em> and slowly stood up herself; just as she was about to walk away, however, Takuto’s book caught her eye, which widened. “That book…” she blinked as if she didn’t believe what she was seeing. Her voice was high-pitched and full of energy.</p><p>Takuto cocked his head, “Oh, this?” I peeked over his shoulder: it was the cognitive psience book we picked up at Book Town a few weeks ago. He was probably reading it on the train. “It’s on a subject called ‘cognitive psience.’ Any interest?” he appeared invigorated.</p><p>"I’m quite interested in it, as well.” I mused, watching for the girl’s response—someone as young as herself seemed to know quite a lot about it, given her reaction to his book.</p><p>Boss, however, was not amused. He gave us a suspicious glare as his jaw clenched. “Wha—?!” the stare he gave us was incredibly intimidating, even I was shaken up. “You’re…” he glanced at the girl, then shook his head, a hand placed firmly on his hip. “I’m sorry, but you both need to leave. Don’t worry about the bill.” His deep voice was commandeering and booming—I felt compelled to just listen to him and leave, despite my initial confusion.</p><p>“Boss—” I protested, but was cut off by Takuto, who leaned forward with a stiffened posture.</p><p>“Huh? I-I’m so sorry if there was anything I…” he was panicky once more.</p><p>“The café’s now closed.” Boss wouldn’t let up, like a sturdy wall, “I’ll have to ask you to—”</p><p>Suddenly, the girl’s voice cut through the tension between us: “Sojiro!” she looked terrified, but she kept going, “They stay. What good is driving your few customers away gonna do for you, anyhow?” I wanted to laugh in response, but…now was not the time.</p><p>"Futaba…” Boss said in awe.</p><p>So, Futaba called Boss by his first name, and Boss called her by a first name; moreover, he was incredibly protective of her. Was this girl somehow another ‘problem child’ like Ren was accused of being? It seemed exceedingly unlikely. Futaba carefully stepped closer to us, her hands behind her back. “S-s-so, that book! I-is it what you teach, uh, Sir—I mean, Mister?!” though stuttering, she was truly inquisitive. I surmised she must be a deeply curious and intelligent young girl. “A-and, h-how do you know about it?” she asked me.</p><p>Takuto sat back in his chair once more, his hands at his lap. “Huh? Well, heh, no, not at all. I’m not a teacher.”</p><p>“And I found out about it through him.” I quietly replied.</p><p>“What’s it for, then?” Futaba questioned, a glint in her eye.</p><p>Would he tell her about his research? It was a subject he kept well-guarded as something only Ren and I knew about; his overprotectiveness about his research was actually another point of contention for me. “It’s just a personal interest of mine.” He said plainly as he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. I knew it. “I’ve been studying it for years now. It’s difficult to grasp at times, but it’s quite useful. Fun to study, too.” Still no hint that he intended to actively experiment with it, though.</p><p>Futaba pushed her own glasses up. “It’s fun?” there was a hopeful inflection in her voice as her earlier anxiety almost faded away.</p><p>Takuto nodded. “Well, of course. It’s a wonderful division of science that can help many people. That makes it pretty fun, right?”</p><p>Futaba clenched her fists, a smile on her face as she spoke following a somewhat impish giggle. “Yep! Mom thought exactly the same thing!”</p><p>“Mom?” I inquired—Takuto looked equally puzzled. So there were more people researching cognitive psience than I originally thought—and so close, too.</p><p>Boss answered bluntly, “Her mother studied it too.” Even someone like him couldn’t hide the reminiscence in his voice. “What I don’t get is why you’re studying something like that, though. Well—you are a high school counselor, right? I guess it does make some sense, being related to your field an’ all.” It suggested he knew a thing or two about cognitive psience.</p><p>Takuto smiled softly, looking back to Futaba. “Your mom thought that too, huh? She sounds like a wonderful woman.”</p><p>I frowned inwardly—why did something like that make me jealous? Am I <em>that</em> petty and childish?</p><p>“Hell yeah, my mom owned. She loved me <em>so</em> much!” Futaba eagerly said back.</p><p>Takuto’s pout returned as his eyebrows furrowed. “Past tense, huh? I see…” he paused, his pout fading, “Well, I’m sure she’d be very proud.” His kindness knew no bounds. Even if it stung to call him this, <em>I</em> was proud to be his friend. Sorry, <em>close</em> friend.</p><p>Futaba, now in high spirits, turned to Morgana. “C’mon Mona, let’s go! Off to a menless room!” she swiftly ran off upstairs, and the small black cat followed suit.</p><p>Boss had his own giddy smile on his face as he watched them depart. “Sorry about that. Care for another, you two?”</p><p>“Yeah! And curry, too!” I held up my empty cup, looking to Takuto for his answer. He seemed thoroughly pleased.</p><p>“Thank you. Your coffee truly is amazing.” And now, I was thoroughly pleased. Suddenly, Takuto’s eyes lit up. “Oh, and I’ll try the curry, too.”</p><p>Boss once again sheepishly rubbed the nape of his neck. “Thanks.” He took our cups and placed them in the sink, then poured two new cups for us. “Man…” he chuckled as he handed us our fresh drinks. “Things sure are changing around here…just give me one second on the curries.”</p><p>I nodded earnestly, “I gotcha, Boss.”</p><p>Takuto looked perplexed. “I keep hearing ’Boss...’” he rubbed his chin once more, “Is that what you like us to call you?” he asked Boss politely.</p><p>“Well,” he answered from the back, where he stirred a pot of curry. “My name’s Sojiro Sakura, but most people just call me Boss. I don’t really have a preference for either.”</p><p>Takuto nodded, satisfied. “Alright! Boss it is, then. I’m Takuto Maruki, by the way. Some students actually just call me ‘Doc,’ but you don’t have to. Call me whatever you’re most comfortable with!”</p><p>Boss ladled curry into two plates over a bed of rice as he listened, then brought it over to us. “Careful, it’s hot.” He warned as he handed us two spoons. “It’s nice to meet you, Doc. So, I gotta ask you two something—well, two things.”</p><p>“Yeah? What is it?” I questioned, grabbing a few napkins before handing some of them to Takuto.</p><p>“First,” he raised an eyebrow, “How is Ren doing in school? He passes all his exams at the top of his class and hasn’t gotten in trouble since he was late on his first day, and he has a lot of friends, but…I still worry for him.”</p><p>I glanced at Takuto before speaking. “Well, I can’t really say anything. I only work at the convenience store by Shujin. I do see him pretty often there, though. He’s not a troublemaker by any means.”</p><p>“Mm, I have to agree.” Takuto nodded thoughtfully. “I also can’t say much. As his counselor, I’m sworn to confidentiality. Of course, if he were a threat to himself or others, that’s something I’d be mandated to report on—but nothing’s come up.” He smiled, “He’s a good kid, Boss.”</p><p>Boss breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear.” He pulled up a stool on the other side of the counter and put on a pair of reading glasses. He reached out to the books in front of us and took a small book. “I’ll be here if you two need anything, then. Enjoy.”</p><p>Takuto and I indulged in the curry for some time, engaging in mostly menial small talk about my new term and his progress with his paper. My heart yearned for more intimate conversations, but this is what I had to make do with, and it was fine—I’d rather have this than not have met him at all. It’s the one thing I affirm to myself every night I’m laid awake at night: everything may hurt right now—unrequited love is never easy under any circumstances—but I will never, ever regret meeting and befriending Takuto.</p><p>“So,” I started softly, breathing in the spices of the curry, “Why did you bring the book with you? Did you want to hold a research session today?” I made sure to keep my voice barely above a whisper, not wanting Boss to hear.</p><p>Takuto ran his fingers across the cover of the book contemplatively. “I was just reading over some parts on the train ride here.” As I predicted. “I didn’t really think of holding one today! I, um, I guess I just wanted to see you, you know?” he sounded nervous.</p><p>I nearly choked on the coffee I was in the middle of drinking. It left my throat burned, but there was something far more important: Takuto said he wanted to see <em>me? </em>I quickly grew flustered, putting a hand to my face as I tentatively responded, “O-oh, that’s fine then, haha!” be still my beating heart! And the butterflies in my stomach: they were fluttering with all their might. “I’m just glad you enjoyed the coffee…” I said, breathless.</p><p>He chuckled, discomposed as well, “It’s great. I think I’ll visit more regularly.” He glanced at his empty plate, and then at my mostly finished one. “Here, let me cover you this time.” Takuto said as he reached into his back pocket.</p><p>“What? No, no, it’s fine!” I waved my hands frantically, gesturing at him to put his wallet away. “D-don’t worry, please!” If I knew he was going to pay, I’d never have suggested curry…</p><p>"Too late.” Takuto laughed, the bills already on the table. “It’s my thank you for joining me today. I know you’re a busy student. Senior year’s a tough one!”</p><p>Disheartened, I huffed, my eyes narrowing and shoulders slouching. “I could say the same thing about you, you know.”</p><p>“Sorry, sorry.” He said lightheartedly, then leaned towards me. “Hey, can I ask you something?”</p><p>“Yeah. What’s up?” I asked inquisitively.</p><p>Takuto glanced off to the side for a moment. “I heard some students are already preparing for the school festival coming up next month.”</p><p>I raised an eyebrow dubiously. “Oh? Are you overseeing one of the booths?”</p><p>“Not quite. I was asked to, though. Remember the soup I made with the cooking taskforce back in May? They wanted to get back together.” He scratched his head, “But that would mean I’d be working there all day. I was kind of hoping you’d want to come with me.”</p><p>“H-huh?” I stammered, my eyes wide. It took a moment for me to regain my composure. “A-are you sure? I mean, I think everyone loved your cooking back then—”</p><p>Takuto interrupted me with a soft snicker. “Normally, I would’ve said yes immediately, but there’s already plenty of food stalls. I actually heard Amamiya’s class is doing a maid café sort of theme with Takoyaki and other seafood items. Oh, and there’s also a sweets booth and a ramen booth…really, what role is there for my food to fill?”</p><p>“I see…” I mused, giving a small nod of my head. “In that case, and if you’re really sure—<em>and </em>you won’t mind any of your students looking at us like we’re, you know, a couple—I’d love to come with you.” I curled up a strand of my hair in my fingers, my eyes averted from Takuto’s face.</p><p>“Haha, let them think what they want to think.” How could he possibly say that so nonchalantly? I wanted to knee him for it. “I’m so happy you agreed. It’s in a month, on October 26th.”</p><p>“I should be free. If not, you know I’d make time.” I stated playfully, “I’m looking forward to it, Takuto.”</p><p>Takuto nodded. “As am I, (Y/N). But…” goddammit, but. “It’s getting late. I’ll text you when I get home, alright? I know you live only a block away, but still, be safe getting home. It’s dark outside.” He straightened his jacket, tidying himself up before standing up and thanking Boss. He tucked the small book in his pocket, to which half of it hung out. I was more so surprised I’d never noticed it until he set it on the countertop… “See you Monday, then?”</p><p>“Mhm, same time, same place.” I returned brightly, though part of me was wholly disappointed our outing was over so soon.<em> There’s still Monday</em>, I echoed to myself. The bell rang, and just like that, Takuto had departed for the train station. Meanwhile, Boss stood up to collect the money he’d left behind and his empty plates.</p><p>“So…” he started, an eyebrow cocked and a smirk rapidly forming on his face; I didn’t like where this was going. “Are you two, y’know—”</p><p>“Ugh!” I groaned loudly as I buried my head in my arms, dispirited. “No! We’re not dating!”</p><p>I left soon after, my face still hot from Takuto’s invitation and Boss’s semi-interrogation shortly after he left; the cool September wind hitting my face as I walked home only did so much to help.</p><p>As I was getting ready for bed, I had the idea to check on how the Phan-site’s faring these days with all the Phantom Thief craze going around. I stood in the bathroom, mid-changed, as I navigated to the website. There were already some major upgrades from my first visit, namely a more streamlined forums system and a cleaner interface. The thing that first caught my attention, though, was the new poll question displayed:</p><p>
  <em>Are the Phantom Thieves just?</em>
</p><p>What a strange thing to ask! How could such a complex question be answered with a simple yes or no? This required far more nuance and some heavy ethical deliberation!</p><p>And yet, my finger hovered over the ‘yes’ option the entire time I pondered my own answer. There was an overwhelming show of support: seventy-six percent chose yes. Well—they did singlehandedly prevent the Cleanse from happening. They also busted an absolute sick-in-the-head pig of a man from Shujin, a famous artist, and a freaking <em>mafia boss. </em>I guess they were just: the number went up ever so slightly.</p><p>There was also a ranking board for the Phantom Thieves’ next big target. There were several big-shot names, but the figure I most easily recognized was the one unequivocally dominating the competition—in a bad way, of course.</p><p>It was Kunikazu Okumura: the CEO of Big Bang Burger.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>tysm for 300 hits !! and sorry this chapter took so long, i won't be able to regularly update anymore since i start work soon :(( still, i hope you enjoy what's to come!!</p><p>hehehe, and make it 7 pt's!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. the fall, the savior, and maruki's cheesy dancing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>changed the title cuz i didnt like it anymore lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Given the hype surrounding Okumura, it was all but certain he’d be the next to undergo a change of heart. This reflected poorly not only on the CEO himself, but on his franchises as well. Namely, Big Bang Burger was emptier than usual, while the once tepid employees now seemed somewhat empowered; these were glaring differences which Takuto and I quickly heeded. Aside from the uneasy atmosphere within the Central Street restaurant itself, there was a sort of societal pressure to boycott Big Bang Burger and other Okumura Foods industries—my store even went as far as to pull all Okumura Foods products from our shelves. As such, we elected to tentatively move Mondays with Maruki to Leblanc for the time being. It took a heavy toll on my wallet, but my tummy was happy; live fast, die young (and broke).</p><p>We, collectively, as a country, silently agreed Okumura was a corrupt man. He was supposedly planning to run for political office, though the odds of him winning an election were basically null. Not that he had much of a chance to begin with, even before he was singled out as the next target, since another politician, Masayoshi Shido, took up an overwhelming amount of airtime. No big surprise there: election season was coming up in just two months. However, that airtime was exceedingly positive as well, as if Shido could do no wrong in the eyes of the media. It was dubious, to be sure—anyone who was viewed as infallible by big media was almost sure to be in their pockets. The masses don’t know this, of course. They’re far too malleable and willing to listen to authority…their blind rejection and eventual support of the Phantom Thieves was but one example, even as a Phan myself.</p><p>I became disillusioned with the vigilante group, only slightly, as a result of their recent actions. Do I believe Okumura is a dishonest, power-hungry, and unethical CEO? Yeah, of course—most of them are simply by nature. But to leave such a sensitive matter as changing someone’s heart to the results of a poll by random people? And can people vote twice? Can the results be tampered with? What of those who were voted on but didn’t ‘win’ (and I’m using the term win very, <em>very</em> loosely here)? There was undoubtedly negative attention cast upon them, unfairly or not. It was extremely dangerous and juvenile, fully displaying how they let their fame get to their heads. I was still a supporter—just a skeptical supporter, a balance most people can’t seem to strike.</p><p>Then, October 11th happened. I was in school when it all went down: a normal, clear October night, plagued by tragedy.</p><p>Even though it was cut from the air, everyone saw it. I saw it unwillingly while scrolling through social media on the train ride home: Okumura’s rolled back, glazed-over eyes as he writhed in pain, black ooze dripping from every orifice on his face. It was like something out of a horror movie, such that it was cartoonishly terrifying. The black ooze—what the hell was that? Bright crimson blood would be far more horrifying in the moment, but in hindsight, it was the black liquid that never left my mind, no matter how hard I tried to wipe the image clean. Beyond the visuals, the noises he made as he was seizing up were nearly inhuman, and the last bit of human left within him was obviously crying out for help. I knew if I tried to explain that feeling I had, though, no one would understand. The entity that possessed his body forced this sort of reaction: it was most certainly not a cardiac arrest at the fault of his own heart.</p><p>Cardiac arrest was the official cause of death given by the coroner, but no cardiac arrest spills forth a black substance. At first, though, people were in a state of denial—or rather, more blind submission.</p><p>
  <em>The Phantom Thieves’ will is final.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Whatever. Okumura deserved to die anyway. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Who’s next? I have a few people in mind who should go next. </em>
</p><p>Such were the repulsive reactions I heard among gossiping customers on the following Wednesday. The people were at fault for Okumura being the target, after all—was it an attempt to deflect the blame unto Okumura? Did he truly deserve to die, despite his crimes? This country still upheld capital punishment, so it was no surprise everyone was initially apathetic to his gruesome death anyhow.</p><p>And yet, the beat of their drum changed as more news anchors and pundits announced their condemnation of the Phantom Thieves. From one authority figure to another, like moths to a flame, our Phantom Thief merchandise was torn down just as quickly as it was put up. What a joke.</p><p>I didn’t know what to believe, a mixture of distraught and conflicted. The image of Okumura’s death played in my mind, over and over, like a projection on loop as I would stare at the two calling cards hanging above my desk: once worth a pretty penny, now regarded as a stain on my home. This was how rapidly public support shifts. I found myself more cynical of those around me than I did the Phantom Thieves.</p><p>I ultimately decided to keep the calling cards up. They still helped my mom, even if they did murder Okumura.</p><p>But did they? Were they genuinely at fault for this turn of events? Thinking back, none of their previous targets were killed. I recently checked up on Kamoshida, Madarame, and Kaneshiro as well; all of them were doing just fine in prison. Of course, Kamoshida allegedly threatened his suicide, but I never read anything about him actually trying to harm himself. It was just…out of character for them. It didn’t line up at all, and yet, everyone was sure the Phantom Thieves were at fault.</p><p>Alongside Takuto, Goro Akechi was the only one who agreed with my sentiments. There was talk of mental and psychotic breakdowns, among them some of Okumura’s <em>competitors</em>, far before the Kamoshida case. Unless calling cards for them turn up, it’s all just pure speculation that the Phantom Thieves were at fault. No, I was sure there had to be a second party who took advantage of the hype and struck them while they were at their highest.</p><p>Then, a calling card for Shujin’s principal, who had <em>allegedly</em> thrown himself in front of oncoming traffic, was found. This was something I didn’t believe from the very beginning. It made no sense for them to target the principal long after Kamoshida was gone, even if he was involved in covering his ass. Rather, I believed there was something sinister at play. In summary, I feared for the direction Japan was heading in. I feared for the Phantom Thieves. I feared for any future victims of mental shutdowns, regardless of whose hand it was by.</p><p>The tension in the air was palpable, and yet, I managed to push that all aside. I affirmed to myself that today, October 26th, was going to be a great day together with Takuto. It was a little weird, knowing I’d be going back to high school—not for classes, thankfully, but it was still a foreign environment for me. I hadn’t stepped foot in such an institution in a little over four years, so it was definitely jarring. I wondered if Takuto felt the same, seeing as how he’s only slightly older than me at twenty-eight.</p><p>I was to meet him outside Shujin’s gates a little later into the day, so it wouldn’t be as crowded. That meant the food we’d be sampling together wouldn’t be fresh, but we didn’t mind too much. The most important thing, we agreed, was supporting the students. Takuto was already inside, so he shortly came out to greet me.</p><p>He called my name to which my chest warmed. “I’m so glad you could make it. Were you waiting long? I’m sorry, I was trying to finish up my assignment quickly.” A single hand was stuck in the pocket of his long white coat.</p><p>My eyes softened at the sight of him as I walked up the stairs toward him. “Please, Takuto, you’re fine. I just hope you weren’t rushing it because of me.” I playfully quipped back, now standing at his side.</p><p>“Oh…” a small pout formed on his lips. “I might have rushed it just a little bit.”</p><p>I sighed, followed by a quiet chuckle. “I suspected as much. Oh well—let’s just enjoy our day together.” We entered the school, where I was greeted with all sorts of colorful decorations. It warmed my heart (though it was already pretty warm from being next to my crush) seeing the love and dedication the students put into the party streamers and papier-mache mini sculptures. “Anything you wanted to check out first?”</p><p>Takuto shook his head. “No, not really. I do know what’s where, though, since I’ve checked out some of the classes already. Like I said before, there’s ramen, seafood, sweets…all sorts of things. I wanted to leave it up to you, since you’re my guest today.”</p><p>“My, how considerate of you.” I said cheekily, mostly in an attempt to hide how flustered I was. He was always this kind; I don’t know why I don’t expect it at this point. “Well—honestly, I ate a little snack before I came here. We can just have some sweets.”</p><p>“Then sweets it is, my friend!” Takuto said enthusiastically, waving as if to beckon me to follow him. “There’s a crepe stand run by a first-year class. Does that sound good?”</p><p>Embarrassing to admit, but my mouth watered at the prospect. Sharing a crepe with Takuto—this felt like a cheesy high school date; not that I was one to deny something as cute as that, though. “Heh, yeah. Sounds perfect.” I replied, satisfied.</p><p>The stairs were near the entrance, but the journey to the third floor was a long and arduous one. I was winded by the end of it, and, despite my best efforts to conceal my shallow breaths, they were apparent. “Are you alright?” Takuto sheepishly asked, noticing a certain breathlessness in him as well. “I know, I know. I’ve been here for almost six months and I’m still not used to all these stairs.”<br/>
            “Oh…” I smiled back at him, a hand on the back of my neck. “I think it’s all the Big Bang Burger we keep having.” Even as my breath returned to normal, I couldn’t quell my pounding heart. It was the Takuto effect.</p><p>“You have a point there.” He returned my smile, waving me over once more. “C’mon, it’s this way.”</p><p>The smell of crepe batter and chocolate permeated the hallway. We passed by a few booths: the one that caught my eye was a stand for silly photos, equipped with costumes and all. What kind of quirky pictures could Takuto and I take together…? “It smells good.” I remarked. The line for it was rather long, meaning it must be good. “We can just share one. What kind do you like?”</p><p>“Hm, well…” Takuto hummed, his eyes scanning over the cutesy menu. The students working the stand were dressed in homemade uniforms—the aprons had doodles all over them, while the visors they wore bore Shujin’s symbol. The amount of effort they put into this was astonishing, and almost made me regret never getting involved in such a high scale endeavor in my own school festivals. “You said something sweet, right? Why not chocolate and strawberries?” he looked back to me, a glimmer in his eyes.</p><p>“Delicious.” I smirked, moving forward in line. I could also hear the blender from the nearby bubble tea stand, alongside the general chatter among the crowd. It almost felt like our outing in Odaiba again, minus the blistering heat and mouthwatering smell of grilled meats. “I can order for us if you wanna go grab a table. It’ll be better than eating standing up.”</p><p>Takuto’s eyes widened, “Oh! Are you sure? Here, let me at least cover some of it for you since we’re sharing…” he quickly reached into his pocket and put a few paper bills in my hand—as if he were <em>prepared</em> for this. He did it much faster than I could tell him no. “I won’t be too far off. If you get lost, you can call me.”</p><p>“What?” I cocked my head, grasping the bills as I examined the hallway. “I can get lost here? It’s not that big of school, is it?”</p><p>“W-Well, no, I—” Takuto interrupted himself with a small, timid laugh. “I guess it’s just in my nature to worry about you.”</p><p>My stomach dropped as soon as he uttered those words. It was to be expected of someone like him, of course, but the way my imagination could take those simple few words and sprint a mile with them—my heart raced at the prospect. “I-I see…” I rubbed my cheek as it felt hot to the touch. “I’ll be fine, I think. Go on ahead, Takuto.” And so, he went off to find us a table. He eventually left my line of sight, while I stood there: a heated, love-stricken mess.</p><p><em>What a goober.</em> I pouted inwardly, stepping further in line. <em>Saying something as sweet as that and not realizing how I could interpret it…</em> In truth, I hated the state of our relationship—so tender, and yet, so empty, so superficial. Were my romantic feelings for him at all obvious to him? Were there some hints Takuto was dropping that I kept missing?  <em>Ugh—whatever! Just try to have fun today!</em></p><p>Up next in line, I ordered what we agreed upon and received it swiftly. It was enclosed in a Styrofoam box, the contents warm on my fingers and heavy with a chocolatey-strawberry scent. They even had a crudely drawn crepe-like mascot on the top, to which I endearingly stared it as I found Takuto just around the corner. I sat directly across from him, spreading napkins out while he eagerly opened the container. “Wow, it looks great!” Takuto said, waiting with bated breath. He reached across the table and took a spoon, rotating the container so it was more easily accessible to me. “I’m ready to dig in.” he said playfully.</p><p>“Go for it.” I chided back, already cutting a corner of it off. “I had to resist taking a quick bite on the way here, honestly.”</p><p>“Is that so?” he smiled, taking a hefty spoonful. Sometimes I forgot how much of an eater Takuto really was. His eyes widened, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks. “It’s amazing.” He happily hummed.</p><p>He was right. It was a pretty grade-A street crepe, I was impressed the students managed something like this. “You’re right.” I remarked, “What’s their secret? This tastes almost professional. Even the presentation is nice!”</p><p>“Ah,” Takuto appeared sheepish, his voice slightly shaking, “I may have given them a few pointers—actually, I gave all the cooking booths a few tips.”</p><p>I laughed in response, but it was a good-hearted laugh. “Of course you did. You’re a really talented chef, huh?” I paused to chew, while Takuto was as shy as ever. He never did well with compliments. “Say, Takuto, why haven’t I tried your cooking besides that soup? Are you keeping a secret or something?”</p><p>“N-Not at all!” he frantically replied, “I just didn’t know you were that interested. I wouldn’t mind making lunch for us. Do you like to cook?”</p><p>I barely cooked. I was kind of reluctant to admit how much of my diet consisted of convenience store food, fast food, and Leblanc curry. I cooked with my parents sometimes, so it’s not like I was totally clueless, but still. “Well, I, um, know how to cook, but my schedule can be so hectic that I don’t have the time to cook as much as I should.” </p><p>“Yeah, university is pretty stressful!” he said, a slight reminiscent tone in his voice. “You graduate in the spring, right? Once you’re out of school, you’ll have more time than you’ll know what to do with. Trust me.”</p><p>“I know, I know. My parents tell me the same thing. Anyway…” my eyes briefly shifted to the floor, the crepe nearly done now. “You’re willing to make lunch for us? When would that be? You said your research is almost done.”</p><p>“It is, thanks to you and Amamiya.” He spoke wistfully as he set his spoon down on a napkin, hands now on his lap, “Did I tell you I’m leaving Shujin next month?”</p><p>No, he did not. My heart stopped for a moment: no more catching him at work, huh? What a sad notion—summer vacation was a difficult enough venture already. “You are? Will you still be in the area?”</p><p>Takuto appeared downcast and sullen. “Not really. I’ll be working hard on my paper from November on. Hopefully, I can submit it for peer review before the new year. Plus, I don’t really live in the area.”</p><p>“I see,” was all I could say, hopeless and mostly in a state of denial.</p><p>It seemed Takuto perceived my discontentedness and attempted to cheer me up. “B-But doesn’t mean we won’t still be in touch! We’re still friends, that hasn’t changed!”</p><p>“I never said I was worried about not being in touch. It’s fine, Takuto, really.” I felt like I was getting pretty good at lying at this point, especially to Takuto. Truth be told, it was exhausting to put on such a face, to act as if nothing was wrong when my heart was crying out for him, yearning, aching to be loved by this tender man…</p><p>Takuto was quiet for a moment, lips slightly parted as he pondered his next words. “I’m glad to hear it. Still, I was going to invite you to come over next month before I leave. We could have breakfast, lunch, dinner—whatever works for you.”  </p><p>He smiled as if to reassure me, and yet, I only felt nauseated; I was too preoccupied with the sadness stirring within my chest to get flustered by the prospect of going to his home, alone, too. “Sure,” I murmured, letting the bottom side of the plastic spoon rest on my lips. “I could help you out, too, by the way. I don’t want you to work too hard on whatever you’re planning on making alone.” I’m sure I sounded distant; that wasn’t my intention at all, but I couldn’t stop thinking about how depressed I’d be in the months following November. I knew all too well of the promise to keep in touch: it was a promise that was often times broken. It was a promise I made with all my high school friends—we haven’t checked up on each other in a very, very long time.</p><p>It was readily apparent to me that now was the time to cast aside my feelings for him, but I allowed myself to indulge in the deliriousness for the remainder of the year. A new year spelt a fresh start, and unfortunately, the next year would likely be a bleak one without Takuto in my life.</p><p>“You’d be great help.” Takuto spoke softly as he began to clean up. “By the way, I heard there’s an event in the auditorium happening soon, if you wanted to check that out.”</p><p>I looked up at him as he stood up, despondent. “What is it?” I stood up in suit.</p><p>“I believe it’s a panel. Niijima, Shujin’s student council president, somehow got Goro Akechi to speak.”</p><p>My ears perked. The newfound Savior of Japan was here? Was that why there were so many non-Shujin students around? “Akechi, huh?” I mused, “Are you interested in hearing what he has to say? They’re probably just gonna have him talk about the Phantom Thieves the whole time.” I whispered this, knowing how much of a taboo it was to talk about <em>them</em> in regular conversation.</p><p>“I’m curious, I’ll admit.” Takuto stroked his chin. “But, really, it’s up to you. I know how much you look up to them, and you know how much I do, too.”</p><p>After a brief moment of deliberation, I gave him a small nod. “You’re right. Let’s go see Akechi.” I stuck my hands in my own pockets as Takuto threw the Styrofoam and the rest of our scraps in a nearby trash can. “You think we’ll even be able to find seats? He’s so popular now, you know.” I tried to sound more lighthearted, but I don’t quite think it landed.</p><p>Takuto guided me to the auditorium. As I walked closely behind him, I felt the stares of students and faculty on me. It was only natural to be curious of the nature of our relationship, especially with someone as popular among the student body as Takuto was. I’d witnessed firsthand his little ‘fan club’ of sorts in Inokashira Park all the way back in late May. It was frightening, almost, but it was something I wholeheartedly understood. Shujin, of course, is now known for neglecting its students. I couldn’t imagine how patronizing the teachers must be to the students, but Takuto is an adult who listens to them with open ears and open arms. He’s kind, insightful, a little aloof (which only makes him more approachable) and supportive—it’s as he said: if no adult supported them, he would. Admittedly, if I were a student here, I’m sure I’d be part of the Takuto Maruki Fan Club as well.</p><p>It came as no surprise the place was completely packed. There was an air of anticipation about the crowd, in which their adoring chatter of Akechi was deafening. They sung such high and heavy praises for the young detective, when only a month ago they denounced and casted him out. He was charismatic for his age, to be sure—even I found myself charmed by him when absentmindedly watching his interviews. In many ways, though, I saw much of Ren in him. Beyond his allure, Akechi was blatantly intelligent: Ren consistently scored at the top of his class according to Takuto. He was also rather bold for challenging the common opinion at the time the Phantom Thieves were their most famous. All these traits, he shared with Ren. I had an inclination to believe they were close in some way, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.</p><p>As more people filed into the hall, Takuto and I scanned the room for open seats—miraculously, I managed to find one. “Takuto,” whispering, I nudged him gently, pointing in the direction of two open seats in the very back right corner. “They’re bad seats, but let’s grab ‘em before anyone else does.” I suggested, already starting for them at a brisk pace. Takuto nodded and followed closely behind me. The lighting was dim, thankfully, and being so far from the stage meant no one would notice us together. I figured this may have been a bad idea, seeing as how I didn’t want Takuto to get caught up in some sort of scandal of unprofessionalism and fraternization with a lowly convenience store employee. With this in mind, I slumped in the cool metal folding chair, attempting to remain distant from the beloved counselor while still maintaining some semblance of our togetherness.</p><p>“It seems everyone’s pretty excited to hear Akechi speak.” Takuto offhandedly commented as he relaxed his hands on his lap, “It won’t be long now, though. Did you have anywhere you needed to be after this?”</p><p>Before I replied, I checked the time. It was a Wednesday I had to request a day off of work, but I still had class—I only had a couple hours before I’d have to depart Shujin for my own school. “I only have a little time left,” I started as I tucked my phone back into my pocket, “How come?”</p><p>Takuto leaned forward and toward me slightly. “I’m glad, then—I didn’t want you to feel like I abandoned you today or anything. I have work to do after the festival, actually.”</p><p>“Is it your paper?” I inquired with my own hands now buried in my lap.</p><p>He shook his head. “No, I just want to be available for counseling. This might’ve been a stressful time for students—especially with all the free-floating anxiety surrounding <em>them</em>, justified or not. I should be there for them.”</p><p>His altruism prevailed once more. The smallest things he’d do or say only made my heart grow fonder for him. I loved it, and yet, I wish it would stop—now was a terrible time to fall harder for him. “Yeah, I get that.” I murmured back, “Would that be right after the panel, or…?”</p><p>“There’s one more event that’ll happen here after the panel, so please don’t feel like you have to leave right away!” Takuto evidently had more to say, but he was cut off by roaring applause. Our attention now shifted, the detective prince stepped up onto the stage, who was then followed by Makoto Niijima. There was something off about her, as if she were extremely nervous: a stark contrast from her dignified composure I was used to. Meanwhile, Akechi appeared as confident as ever, his ego no doubt boosted by his surge in popularity.</p><p>After the cheers subsided, Niijima began hesitantly, “Well then, we will now begin today’s panel. Our guest of honor is Goro Akechi.”</p><p>Once again, clapping replaced the brief moment of silence.</p><p>“I feel kind of bad, considering how many people have gathered. I’m sure you all would’ve been happier to have a singer or a mascot appear, wouldn’t you say?” he paused as the audience erupted in laughter.</p><p>Niijima quickly interjected, turning her head towards Akechi. “We’d appreciate it if you could tell us about your experiences with the notorious Phantom Thieves. It’d be wonderful if you could let us hear more about your actual investigative process.” Takuto turned to me, eyes bright, as if to say, <em>hey, look at you! You were right! </em>It was a no-brainer the main topic at hand would be the Phantom Thieves, but it still felt nice to be acknowledged by him.</p><p>Akechi leaned forward on the podium, a cheerful smile on his face. It was a more eerie smile than he let on, though, as if it were stretched, fragile, made of glass. “I’m not used to being the one interrogated, so please go easy on me.” In response, more laughter from the audience—even Takuto and I let out our own quiet giggles.</p><p>“As much as you’re allowed to say, would you tell us how far along your investigation is on them?” Niijima wore a stoic expression, her fingers wrapped tightly around the microphone. Even I, sitting as far away as I could, saw that. She was far more anxious inside than she allowed herself to appear—I knew that act very well.</p><p>“Getting right to the point, I see!” Akechi gave a nod of his head. “Well, if it’s as much as I’m allowed to say, then everything on TV and the internet is all of it. We don’t have any leads yet, and the methods behind their crimes are still unclear.” I didn’t like that word: <em>crimes</em>. Sure, there was Okumura, but even Akechi didn’t believe his death was at their hand.</p><p>“I see…” she paused to think, “Even with this country’s power, arresting them is proving to be difficult—is that the case?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t phrase it that way, but well, something like that.”</p><p>Niijima nodded. “Thank you for answering that question.” She briefly glanced at the clipboard she held to her chest. “By the way, it seems you’ve denied a correlation between the Phantom Thieves and the murders, why the sudden change? Until now, haven’t you upheld your stance that the Phantom Thieves are dangerous? How are you so positive that they haven’t committed murder?”</p><p>Akechi’s grin returned, his tone playful, “Aren’t you a little too comfortable interrogating people? Why, it’s as if you’re a prosecutor.”</p><p>While the spectators found humor in his joke, Niijima did not seem pleased. “Ah, excuse me,” she quickly replied, “This is something I’ve personally been interested in, so I couldn’t help it—but won’t you tell us? What reason is there that you’d claim their innocence when you previously stated they were unjust?”</p><p>Akechi took a few moments to gather his thoughts. “Every person whose heart they changed have truly been criminals, including Okumura. Why, then, was he the only one who needed to be killed?”</p><p>He echoed our sentiments, though in front of us were two adults, seemingly faculty members: “To set an example, probably.” One of them said, clicking his tongue in annoyance.</p><p>“Why is that?” Niijima questioned.</p><p>“I must admit, I couldn’t deduce a reason. That’s why I believe that case should be thought of as if a different party is responsible.” Akechi stood straight, his hands off the podium. “And if—this is all hypothetical, mind you—if the Phantom Thieves are the ones I know of, I can’t possibly imagine they would kill anyone.”</p><p>The crowd grew rowdy while my stomach dropped. Did Akechi just imply he knew the identities of the Phantom Thieves? I was beyond floored, and when I gazed at Takuto, he looked equally as stunned: eyes wide open and mouth slightly agape. Upon a glance at his lap, he was grasped at the fabric of his khakis with white knuckles. I could do nothing but continue to listen with a deafeningly pounding heart.</p><p>“Y-Your comment just now…” Niijima was shaken, “Does this mean the police have already identified who they are?”</p><p>“Oh, no. The police haven’t gotten that far yet, but I have my own conclusions about the true identities of the Phantom Thieves.” The crowd’s murmuring only grew louder. I could’ve sworn I heard Takuto whisper a faint <em>no</em> under his breath, but with all the chatter, I might’ve misheard him. Regardless, I was far too enthralled to avert my attention from the stage. “You’re not going to ask me who they are?” Akechi smirked, as if he were trying to provoke Niijima.</p><p>Niijima slowly brought the microphone closer to her lips. “It may have repercussions on the investigation. Are you sure you can share that with us?” she spoke steadily, steadfast and cool—and yet, I sensed her deep apprehension.</p><p>Akechi nodded as the gossiping continued. “It’s only my personal opinion, so announcing that here wouldn’t pose a problem. However, there is a possibility that everyone present will hear the truth before the police or media.” The truth, huh? How cocky of him.  </p><p>“That’s quite the confidence you have.” Niijima said scornfully, “If you’re so certain, then very well. I’d like to ask you, then: who do you think the Phantom Thieves are, Akechi?”</p><p>Akechi wasted no time in giving his answer. “They’re people you all know quite well. The identity of the Phantom Thieves are—” just as he was about to indulge us, the ring of his cell phone cut through the tension like a knife. The disappointment in the audience was palpable. “Oh, it’s mine. I apologize for the interruption, but I can’t turn off my phone due to my job. Would you mind if I step away for about ten minutes or so?”</p><p>Niijima turned to the crowd, her body stiff. “I’m terribly sorry, everyone, but we’ll be taking a break. We’ll resume the panel in ten minutes.”</p><p>Akechi stuffed his phone back into his pocket, that glass smile returning to his lips. “Please don’t troll me online for this interruption, okay?” he bowed, and turned towards Niijima. It seemed they had a momentary discussion, and gauging from her tense expression as they walked off stage together, I knew something was amiss.</p><p>“Takuto…” he turned his head to me, still frightened. What did he have to be scared of? There was no way he was a Phantom Thief—no, did he also know their true identities? Pushing those thoughts aside, I gingerly placed a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”</p><p>Takuto gulped and rubbed his hands on his lap as if to wipe something off them. “Y-Yes, I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m sorry if I worried you.”</p><p>“Do you know too?” I asked, my eyebrows furrowed.</p><p>“Know what?”</p><p>“You know what I mean. <em>Them.</em>” I spoke under my breath.</p><p>All I received from Takuto was a reluctant shake of his head, a reassurance of sorts that he was just taken aback by the recent turn of events. He’d have his work cut out for him later today, he joked, and yet, I didn’t feel like laughing. I was all but positive he knew their true identities, but he kept it a close guarded secret: another thing he clings onto so tightly and refuses to expose to the world. I had the feeling he kept a tight lip out of a sense of obligation, feeling as though this was his way of protecting them. I loved and admired him for it, despite my frustrations.</p><p>I surmised at least one of the members of the Phantom Thieves went to Shujin. This is where they began, and given Takuto’s behavior, he knew one personally. There was also the peculiarity surrounding Akechi, as in how overly prepared he was as he breezed through Niijima’s invasive questions. Additionally, the timing of that phone call was comically convenient, and the way he approached Niijima after the fact with such a stride in his step was doubly suspicious. I felt like a mad conspirator as all these theories floated around in my mind, and at the same time, I had no reason to doubt myself. No—this, no matter how outlandish, was something I was sure of.</p><p>Ten minutes were up before we knew it; Akechi’s “phone call” was an urgent one and required his attention. I took that excuse with a grain of salt. Regardless, the panel was over, and the audience was left begging for more. A master in eloquence and such theatrics, Akechi left as more of a hero and Savior than he was before. No doubt the stunt he pulled here was something we’d hear about for days to come.</p><p>“That was, um, how to say it,” Takuto abruptly said as scratched his cheek, eyes averted, “rather dramatic, wouldn’t you say?”</p><p>“Dramatic would be an understatement.” I replied coyly, “Anyway—what did you want to do until the post-festival thing you were talking about earlier?”</p><p>Takuto smiled timidly. “Honestly, there isn’t much to do now. The students are all cleaning up—we can just go back to the nurse’s office, where my office is, if you’d like? There’s also snacks!”</p><p>“Hm.” I hummed, a loosely devilish grin on my face, “Snacks, huh? I may have to steal a few for the road.”</p><p>“Perfect!” he stood up just as the lights turned back on. “Follow me, then. It can be a little confusing to find.”</p><p>“What, did you get lost a lot?” I laughed lightheartedly, playfully nudging his elbow.</p><p>“Yes.” He pouted, looking at me with pleading eyes. “I-Is that bad?”</p><p>Takuto ended up spending most of his time in the nurse’s office looking over files while I studied. Rather, I was <em>pretending </em>to study—I couldn’t stop thinking about earlier and what had transpired before that.</p><p>The glaring similarities between Ren and Akechi which I only just realized,</p><p>Niijima’s interrogative approach to Akechi,</p><p>Futaba’s interest and connection to cognitive psience,</p><p>Morgana’s ability to seemingly understand and communicate with specific humans,</p><p>Kitagawa’s and Sakamoto’s closeness to Ren,</p><p>Boss taking Ren in,</p><p>Ren living in Leblanc,</p><p>Working at the convenience store closest to the same school Ren transferred to,</p><p>Takuto’s relationship with Ren as his counselor and researcher,</p><p>Ren being in the center of it all.</p><p>I was beyond confused. I kept running into Ren and his friends. Wherever I went, whatever I did, it all went back to Ren. It was too good to be coincidence, right? There was a reason for all this, I was sure, but what <em>exactly</em> was it? Could Ren truly be a Phantom Thief?</p><p>A voice came on over the intercom, effectively ripping my attention from my more troubling speculations. “<em>The post-festival party is about to begin in the gymnasium. Please join us, everybody.”</em></p><p>Takuto tapped his loose papers over the table to straighten them, then set them gingerly within his folder (I later caught sight of it—it was the folder I gifted him a few months prior). “That’s our cue. How are you on time?” he asked, stepping over his desk and starting to me. I began tucking my own things away as well.</p><p>“I still have some time. Not much, though, if I’m being honest.” I stood up next to him, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.</p><p>Takuto frowned. “Ah, I see. Well, thank you for spending your time here with me today. Shall we get going?”</p><p>I gave him an encouraging smile as well as a small nod of my head. “So,” I began, wanting our little walk to be filled with some sort of chatter, no matter how menial, “What was it you were working on?” As we exited the nurse’s office, I realized most of the people from earlier had already gone home, leaving only a small fraction of students to clean up the mess. The confetti especially must have been a huge pain…</p><p>Takuto turned to me for a moment. “Oh, nothing important. I was just revising parts of my paper.”</p><p>“That sounds pretty important.” I joked. “Does that mean you’re pretty much done with the research phase? Why do we still hold our sessions, then?”</p><p>He giggled too; his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I’m <em>mostly </em>done with it. There are still a few things I need to sort out, but my sessions with Amamiya are over. We say hi to each other and I occasionally teach his classes, but other than that, yes, I’m done.” A faint blush appeared on his cheeks before he spoke again. “Why do I continue to see you, huh… I guess it’s because I like talking with you. Now that I’m done, though, I was thinking we could spend our Mondays as friends, rather than under the guise of professionalism.”</p><p>I feared the same fate of Ren: resorting to a few hellos in passing, a chance meeting, happy coincidences… reassurances from Takuto and my own affirmations only did so much to quell my anxieties! Still, I remained calm and composed, my eyes focused. “I’d be happy to. Especially since you’ll be busy with the whole peer review and publishing thing.”</p><p>“Yeah…” he answered in reminiscence, “I never thought I’d get this far.” His voice was unsteady, like an overwhelming joy.</p><p>I responded carefully, “I’m so proud of you, Takuto.”</p><p>“Thank you, (Y/N). Thank you.” He adjusted his glasses, doing his best to conceal his action as he wiped his eyes. I knew what that meant. I chose not to comment on it. We stood in front of the gymnasium now, where the sound of a booming bass leaked through the cracks of the doors. “After you.” he said sweetly as he pushed it open.</p><p>People were much more dispersed with gaps strewn about here and there. It was a strange sight after witnessing the large gathering from earlier—with less of a crowd, so too did the room appear much larger than it initially did. We situated ourselves closer to the front of the stage as we chatted until the event officially began.</p><p>“What will this be?” I asked, tapping my foot to the beat playing over the speakers.</p><p>Takuto shrugged. “I honestly don’t know, but I’m excited to find out!”</p><p>Right at that moment, a student walked up on stage, a microphone in his hand. “And now, it’s time for your favorite Shujin tradition: the Student Sharing Special!” he spoke as anyone would expect a school-sponsored MC to speak like: over-excited, and yet, endearing. I couldn’t help but give him my full attention. Still, a student sharing special was something quite curious—neither Takuto nor I were students! “But, before that: we’ve decided to change things up this year! We’ve got a huge surprise for you all! Members of the dance club, c’mon down!” Disco lights promptly came down, while eight dance club members—all bearing their own cute t-shirts—pranced out: four on stage, and four in the middle of the gym. They each performed their own choreographed dances, and honestly, I was enthralled! It was fun watching them! “Now everybody, join in! Don’t fall behind the dance club, strut your stuff!” the MC continued.</p><p>I raised an eyebrow at Takuto, who was enthusiastically cheering on the other dancing students. “You’re not gonna join them?” I suggested playfully.</p><p>“H-Huh?” his expression grew flustered, and I could see his blush even in this dim lighting. “W-Well, I…” he ran his fingers through his hair, a timid smile taking hold of his face. “I’m not a dancer, but…if you dance, I’ll dance with you.” his eyes slowly found mine, and I returned his smile.</p><p>“Heh, then I guess I don’t have a choice.” I playfully chided as I set my bag down to my feet, along with my jacket. “I’ll be honest, I’m not much of a dancer either, but let’s just have fun!” I beamed.</p><p>Even with that, Takuto and I started with minimal movements as we swayed to the beat. I noticed he was a rather poor dancer, with almost no sense of rhythm and constantly trying not to trip over himself—no doubt his slides made it even harder to not slip around on the waxed floor. I could tell he was at least genuinely enjoying himself, and that was all the validation I needed to lose myself as well. We tried to just follow the moves of the dance club, until Takuto spoke up, “You know,” he started breathlessly, continuing to move about, “this is actually kind of fun!”</p><p>“It totally is, Takuto!” it was like I <em>blinked</em>. Suddenly, Takuto’s movements went from belonging to that of a clumsy amateur to more competent ones, his dancing on beat, fluid, and mesmerizing. “T-Takuto..! Look at you!” I clapped for him with a carefree laugh.</p><p>“Woah…” he stopped, stunned at himself as he stared at his hands. “Did I do that?” he stumbled over, needing to use my shoulder to steady himself as he let out his own winded chuckle. “Phew, I’m kind of dizzy now…”</p><p>“Where did that come from?” we were so close, I could hear and feel his breath on my skin. “’Not much of a dancer’ my ass, you killed it!”</p><p>“R-Really, I have no idea where that came from. It was like something overtook my body.” He said sheepishly as he stood up straight now.</p><p>I smirked, fully amused. “Was it the dancing Gods?”</p><p>“That could be it…” he giggled back.</p><p>The MC’s voice came back on over the speakers as the lights slowed only slightly, “And, now that you’re all warmed up, let’s switch up the music!” as he dragged out the word music, it shifted to more of a groovy tone—good, I was worried it was going to be for a slow dance…I couldn’t tease Takuto into doing that. Though, would it have been an embarrassing venture, or should it be regarded as more of a missed opportunity? Pushing those thoughts aside, we swung to the music, our feet idly tapping along as we spoke fondly of the delicious strawberry-chocolate crepe…</p><p>The students then formed a circle around the center of the auditorium, which instantly grabbed our attention. Moving closer to the action, I caught sight of brilliant red hair flowing about, tied back by an equally dazzling red ribbon. I knew this girl, not just from the convenience store, but from somewhere else… right now, though, Takuto and I were too enchanted by her spinning and twirling, her demeanor filled to the brim with elegance and charm. She had full and total control over her body and its movements—a far cry from our silly display of dancing. “She’s amazing.” I said under my breath, “And she’s not even part of the dance club…”</p><p>Takuto nodded thoughtfully. “Mm, yes, she’s actually on Shujin’s gymnastics team. She’s Yoshizawa—she’s actually friends with Amamiya as well! I wonder if he’s here.” He whispered.</p><p>I still couldn’t figure out where I’d seen her from. Yoshizawa, huh…of course she was friends with Ren, though: just add that to the list of coincidences. “She’s got the whole crowd watching her.” I remarked. The smile on her face was contagious, to say the least.</p><p>“That’s Yoshizawa for you, incredibly talented! I’m very proud of her.” He said that, and I knew he meant it. In the next moment, however, I heard a group of female students coming towards us.</p><p>“Doctor Maruki!” one of them called, rushing to his side as I was pushed away. “Come on, let’s dance together!” she urged him as she tugged at his coat.</p><p>Takuto struck me an apologetic look, so I went off to wait for him outside after I grabbed my bag. In that time of contemplation was when I finally realized where I first spotted Yoshizawa. Honestly, with her eye-catching features, I was more so surprised I didn’t figure it out sooner. It was that day in Odaiba…I bumped into her, with a much more dark and brooding expression on her face (likely the reason I didn’t instantly recognize her). We exchanged remorseful glances, a few whispers of <em>I’m sorry</em>, and went on our ways. It was but a brief meeting there, and an accidental encounter here. Truly, wherever I went, Ren and his friends followed.</p><p>Several minutes later, Takuto left the gymnasium a disheveled mess. His glasses were crooked, his lab coat loosely hung off one of his shoulders, while his hair was ruffled and in his face. He approached me slowly, stumbling as he did, calling out my name. “S-Sorry, I-I—”</p><p>“Oh my God, what happened to you?!” I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or be worried for what transpired behind those doors.</p><p>“Haha, n-nothing, I—” he took a deep breath as he tried to straighten himself up. “A lot of students wanted to dance with me, I ended up getting…p-passed around…far quicker than I could handle…”</p><p>“I figured it was your little fan club, but…” I scanned him from head to toe, checking for any injuries—mostly in jest, though. I didn’t think a couple of high school girls were capable of much beyond, well, leaving Takuto in shambles like this. I told myself I would probably be a part of his fan club if I were their age now, but I don’t think I had the courage to be <em>this </em>outward about my attraction to him. Did Takuto even realize it? “They didn’t do anything weird to you, did they?” I was too embarrassed to admit to the twinge of jealousy in my voice, even to myself.</p><p>“N-No, not at all, haha…” his voice trailed off, then he cleared his throat. “Anyway, I’m sorry I had to leave you behind like that. You have to go now, right?” he sounded somewhat disappointed, which warmed my heart.</p><p>“Yeah, I think so, sadly.” We started for the front gates, the hallways even emptier now than before. “I had a lot of fun today, by the way—thank you so much for inviting me.”</p><p>Takuto laughed sheepishly. “I had fun, too. Especially dancing, until I was mobbed…but that was okay, they seemed happy about it.” His selflessness knows no bounds. It was worrying, almost, I wish he’d be a little selfish just for once.</p><p>As we approached the entrance, I started digging in my bag for my jacket. My heart sunk when I remembered where I’d left it: in the auditorium, where it was probably trampled on by now. I groaned, shivering a bit from the chilly late October breeze which began to set in. “It’s so cold…I think I left my jacket back in the gym.” I rubbed my arms for warmth, and noticed Takuto’s worried expression, coupled with a pout and furrowed brows.</p><p>“That’s no good. You’ll catch a cold.”</p><p>I sighed defeatedly, slinging my bag over my shoulder once more. “There’s nothing I can do right now. I’ll be late if I try to go back in there.”</p><p>“It’s closed anyway, while they’re preparing for the Student Sharing Special…” Takuto stroked the stubble of his chin pensively, eyes closed for only a moment in deep contemplation. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.”</p><p>Before I could interject, he was off, and at a rather rapid pace too—faster than a speed-walk, but not quite a jog. Was he going back to get it for me? At the same time, however, I was left alone. It was pitifully poetic, almost, how it was always Takuto to be the one who’d go off first. I clung to him until I had no choice but to let go. In Odaiba, he left. At Leblanc, he left. Here, he left me twice, though only once of his own volition. Today was truly the first time I’d be the one to leave him on his own, and yet, it felt as though it were the opposite. I think it was because I didn’t want to go—while Takuto was willing to part our separate ways.</p><p>Before I could further dwell on those thoughts, Takuto returned with a light brown jacket. It wasn’t mine—it was his. He handed it to me without a moment’s hesitation. “What? You’re giving me this?” I, on the other hand, received it much more reluctantly.</p><p>“You work tomorrow, right? I’ll get your jacket back to you then. We can swap!” his wide smile was practically radiating.  </p><p>"Well sure, but what about you? You don’t need this?” I asked, concerned.</p><p>He shook his head, then pointed at his long white coat. “I have this. I can survive a night without it. Trust me, it’s very warm! Put it on, or you’ll be late!”</p><p>"Okay, but if <em>you</em> get a cold, I’ll be very sad and guilty about this…” setting the bag down at my feet, I slipped one arm into the jacket, and then another. He was right: it was warm, but not for the same reasons he thought. It smelled like him, it was a part of him…and now it wrapped around my body, like a loving and tender hug as I’ve always fantasized Takuto giving me. If I could never have that, then this—perhaps this would suffice. “It’s nice.” I murmured, grasping at the fabric with my fingers as I felt my face run hot.</p><p>“Great! Now, go on, then! Text me when you get to school safely, alright? I’ll see you tomorrow!”</p><p>· · ·</p><p>I kept the jacket on for as long as I could, even as I slept that night. My dreams were filled with images of Takuto, his loving embraces, a slow dance with him—everything I could never have.</p><p>But the jacket was a symbol that if I could never call him my partner, my lover, I could still hold onto something of his while indulging in these dreams of mine, no matter how whimsical or impossible—that’s the purpose dreams are meant to serve anyway.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>phew !! this one was a pretty long one so thanks for sticking with it until the end of dis chapter :) also ty for your patience, i know i'm not getting these parts out as fast i was before!!</p><p>also, i hope yall didnt mind the retelling :( i didn't want to sway too much from the source material so i just quite literally ripped the whole akechi panel scene word for word. plus the little p5 dancing reference hehe &lt;333 atlus pls give us maruki dlc</p><p>but now that reader's "met" akechi, there's only ann and haru left. how will this one play out, i wonder owo</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. the silver bangle and a succulent</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm sure there are tons of typos and errors but i feel so bad from how long this chapter's already been delayed, so i'll upload this now and fix it later :((<br/>i'm honestly not very happy with this chapter but i hope you'll like it nonetheless nfkjnfkks</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t until much later that I fully understood the implications of Takuto’s invitation. An evening spent at his residence, just the two of us, indulging in the sweetness of a homecooked meal—it was such a tease. From the perspective of anyone looking in, they’d think us lovers, but I knew the unfortunate truth. Of course, there was the fact that we were done with the research so that relationship between us was over, but Takuto was still going to be busy. To spring that sort of thing on him so last minute (and in such an intimate setting) was the ultimate recipe for disaster, only serving to strain things between us on what’s supposed to be a celebration of his progress since May. I had my own reasons to be hopeful, though. We could’ve had a homecooked meal at the park or at another, more public meeting place—so why his house?</p><p>There was nothing more dangerous than getting <em>too </em>hopeful, however. I don’t think I’d ever be prepared for the level of disappointment I’d feel if I fully expected a confession from Takuto by the end of that night and received nothing more than a, “Well, get home safely, friend.” I’d be too ashamed to ever face him again.</p><p>Aside from that constant inner turmoil, the Phantom Thieves continued to occupy much of the public consciousness. People were beginning to grow agitated with the state of the police and their lack of progress on their investigation; this was following more victims of mental shutdowns, more uncertainty, more anxiety. As November went on, the police scrambled and became more and more desperate to catch the ever-elusive Phantom Thieves in the act. They left no traces, beyond their signature calling cards, so it was virtually impossible to track them. They attempted to pinpoint them via their hack on Medjed’s website, but it was encrypted to hell and back, or so I heard.</p><p>And then, the SIU pulled out all stops and announced a sort of bounty on their heads: thirty-million yen, in exchange for meaningful information that would lead to their arrest. It was insane and only caused a greater rift among the general populous. No one trusted each other anymore; instead, only a toxic culture of <em>keep your eye out for your neighbor, watch for him to slip up and get rich </em>remained. For example, at work, many of my colleagues distanced themselves from me, knowing of my earlier fanaticism of the Phantom Thieves. It was lonely and was going to be especially so when Takuto left for good—nothing to look forward to, isolated from my co-workers, just drudging through my shift until it was time to go to school. Once again, but another cog in the wheel, always turning, never moving out of line.</p><p>All of those things culminated into an intense desire for a strongman prime minister—we didn’t have to say who, we all knew who it was going to end up being. Masoyoshi Shido took this situation and wrapped this country around his finger perfectly, almost to the point of suspicion. Still, I decided to reserve my support for any up-and-coming politician until it was actually election season. My vote was likely going to Shido anyway, seeing as how most of his legitimate competition seemed to mysteriously and suddenly drop out, or even retire from politics altogether. It was like God himself was ushering Shido into office; in truth, there was something stirring within me, urging me to rebel against that will. I sometimes listened to “No Good Tora” speak on his soapbox—though, I preferred to just call him Yoshida—whenever I passed by Station Square. He was insightful and sympathetic to the plight of young people like me, which is a sort of compassion I never felt from Shido. It was such a pity that his past legacy stained him so heavily; I truly believed he would be a great prime minister.</p><p>I did, one time, catch a brief glimpse of Ren standing next to Yoshida. It was unsurprising, though disturbing all the same. I was certain our fates were intertwined in some way, though how was completely uncertain, and so I feared that inevitable revelation. We spoke of a promise to band together when Takuto needed saving from himself—were our constant meetings the universe telling me that time was approaching? It was something we agreed upon, sure, but what could we even <em>do</em> to meaningfully help? Ask the Phantom Thieves to change his heart? Could someone’s heart be changed even if they aren’t a criminal or did evil deeds, though?</p><p>Takuto and I haven’t met much since the school festival, aside from his visits to the convenience store, and <em>Mondays with Maruki</em> became something more like <em>Every Other Monday with Maruki.</em> It was a difficult transition at first, but at least when his departing date finally came around, it wouldn’t be a cold-turkey sort of thing. To slowly ween off his presence was more favorable to me than suddenly not seeing him again altogether—though, of course, I’d prefer to keep him around. That’s just how reality is, unfortunately: to have to just grin and bear it, pretend everything’s fine and that I won’t be heartbroken. Even so, I was grateful my heart was touched by a man such as Takuto; that is something that still hasn’t, and will never, change.</p><p>He insisted this home cooked meal would be a thank you from him to me, but it didn’t sit well with me to not get him anything in return. It was a Sunday right after I received my paycheck for the week, and with only a little time left until that bittersweet evening, I decided to visit the Underground Mall in Shibuya. What kind of gifts would Takuto like, I wonder? He seemed to really enjoy the stationary I previously bought him, but getting him more stationary would quickly grow redundant. In truth, I’ve been saving up for months to buy a Christmas gift, but seeing as how we likely wouldn’t be together, now seemed as good a time as any. I reasoned that I’d probably find something he’d like if I window-shop around enough, hopefully.</p><p>The air was dry and cool outside, as expected of early November, but it wasn’t anything too overwhelming. I wished I had a hold of Takuto’s jacket, however…even if it kept me warm partly by virtue of belonging to him, it was a pretty damn nice coat. It did feel a little worn down, like it was the same one he’d used for years—pretty likely, in all honesty, considering he told me he doesn’t even own many clothes. Come to think of it, would he like clothes? Did the Underground Mall even sell men’s clothes? I knew there were mostly feminine products: perfumes, jewelry, and the like, but I was already here so I might as well take a quick look around.</p><p>I turned a corner and spotted an oh-so familiar face: Ren (with Morgana’s head peeking out his bag), along with two girls from Shujin. The girl with the pigtails often came by to purchase sweets, while the one with shorter, fluffier hair wasn’t much of a convenience store shopper. She had something of an elegant air about her, but it was one I only caught in passing as she walked past the store on her way to school. I wondered for a moment if I should go and say hi to Ren, since it had been a while since we spoke in person, or just leave them be. It always felt a bit strange, for lack of a better word, to insert myself into his friend group like that. I was much older than him, so it was kind of like a <em>how do you do, fellow kids?</em> situation.</p><p>It seems they spotted me first anyway. Ren called my name and waved me over, while his friends smiled cheerfully at me. Having no other choice, I approached them, holding tightly to the strap of my backpack. “H-Hey, Ren.” I nodded to him, then introduced myself to the two girls standing beside him.</p><p>“Oh, you’re friends with Ren?” the girl with shorter hair politely started, her voice high-pitched and refined, “That’s lovely! My name is Haru Okumura.” An Okumura…as in <em>the </em>Okumura? Oh, this poor girl…and yet, she seemed as chipper as ever.</p><p>The other girl, the blonde with pigtails, swayed happily. “Mhm, mhm! I’m Ann Takamaki!”</p><p>“I-It’s nice to meet you both.” I bowed slightly. They were two kind and beautiful young women, honestly. Ren must have some serious charm to be able to befriend not only Takamaki, but the apparent daughter of Kunikazu Okumura himself. I felt unworthy… “I don’t know if you recognize me, but I work at the store by your school. Oh, and I met Ren because I visit Leblanc like, almost every day.” I said the last part timidly, somewhat embarrassed by my fixation on Boss’s coffee and curry…</p><p>Takamaki giggled whimsically, “I totally get that. Boss’s food is delicious! And Ren’s not a bad chef himself, either.”</p><p>“He did learn from the best, after all.” I playfully chided back. Ren appeared bashful, while Morgana let out a yip himself.</p><p>Ren’s piercing eyes landed on me, and I nearly shuddered. “That’s not the full story. You also have a little crush on Maruki, don’t you?”</p><p>My face immediately ran hot. I covered my mouth, my eyes slightly lidded as I stared at the ground. <em>Way to call me out, dickhead.</em> Okumura, however, happily replied. “My, how romantic!”</p><p>“Yeah, Doctor Maruki is such a nice guy.” Takamaki remarked as if to comfort me, “I don’t blame you at all. There are tons of girls at school that feel the same way you do. Actually, I think every girl likes him.”</p><p>I suddenly remembered the school festival, where he was swamped by his rather sizable ‘fan club.’ “I know, I’ve seen it firsthand.” I said lightheartedly. Ren let out a quiet snort, probably because he agreed with me.</p><p>“Do you plan on confessing your feelings, (L/N)?” Okumura asked inquisitively, though she didn’t mean to be too pressing over the matter. “You two would make a very cute couple!”</p><p>I frantically waved my hands and shook my head, my eyes widened and my pulse quickening ever so slightly. “N-No! I-I mean, I don’t know, I—” I sighed in attempt to calm my nerves before speaking once more, “I think I might…maybe I won’t. I know he’ll be leaving your school soon, and he told me he’d be busy afterwards, I just don’t want to distract him or anything, y’know…” my voice trailed off towards the end.</p><p>Takamaki spoke this time, “That’s pretty considerate of you.” she tried to sound consoling, “But if you really like him, you should just go for it, even if you have to wait to do it!” I was spared from a humiliating reply by the ring of Ren’s phone. He excused himself and went off to a separate corner while Takamaki and Okumura continued our conversation.</p><p>“Well, whatever you decide to do, Ann and I wish you the best of luck!” Okumura smiled brightly.</p><p>“Doctor Maruki would be a lucky man to have you.” Takamaki basically echoed, but their words sincerely touched my heart. Would he be lucky to have me, or would I be the lucky one to have him? “What’re you here for, then? Just a little shopping?”</p><p>I narrowed my eyes and sheepishly scratched my cheek, lips pursed in a slight pout, “To buy a gift for him, actually…” I murmured before looking back at the two young women, “But I have no idea what to get him. I never do.”</p><p>“Maybe we could help you! That is, if you’d allow us.” Okumura suggested, and Takamaki quickly chimed in.</p><p>“That sounds fun! And Ren definitely has an eye for those kinds of things.”</p><p>Did they not have anything else more exciting to do on a Sunday? “O-Oh, um, if you’re sure, I mean—you don’t have anything to do?"</p><p>Takamaki put a finger to her chin. “My birthday is coming up on the twelfth, so I was here to try some things on and get a feel for what I’d like. My parents are usually too busy to get me anything, so they just send me money and let me decide.” Though she appeared nonchalant about not having her parents around, I could sense the sadness she felt on the matter. “But honestly, I think I’ll just use it to treat my best friend and I to a buffet, with a biiiig dessert menu.” I could practically hear her mouth water from the way she spoke of all-you-can-eat dessert.</p><p>Okumura nodded. “So we don’t mind helping you out at all. Like Ann said, it’ll be fun.”</p><p>Ren returned soon after Okumura spoke, his hands coolly stuffed in his pocket. “That was Sojiro on the phone. He says Futaba needs something from the store so I gotta head back and watch the store. Sorry.”</p><p>“Guess it’ll just be the three of us, then.” Takamaki said, though she was obviously disappointed Ren couldn’t accompany us. Honestly, he did seem like the kind of guy who’d have a knack this. He always knew what to say and how to please people, but he was never so overly cautious with his words that it became intimidating to be around him—being sociable came naturally to him.</p><p>Okumura giggled. “Please say hi to Futaba for me, Ren.” She paused before speaking again as she turned her attention back to Takamaki and I. Ren was off before I properly could say goodbye myself, though. “What does Doctor Maruki like, do you think?” she asked me, her soft eyes not at all pressing.</p><p>“Well,” to this day, I’m still ashamed I barely know much of what he likes beyond stationary he needs for work and fruity snacks. Both Takamaki and Okumura were gracious with their patience, thankfully. “When I visited his office once, I noticed he had a few plants on his work desk.”</p><p>“Ooh,” Takamaki started, “Wouldn’t be cute if you and Doctor Maruki raised a little plant together?” again, I quickly became flustered and scrambled to try and cool my face down. “You’re in luck! Haru over here <em>loves</em> gardening. She’s great at it!”</p><p>Okumura blushed at the compliment, her hands clasped together as she replied. “Yes, I do enjoy it. Desk plants are a bit different, though. Perhaps something low maintenance, but still pretty to look at would be best suited for him…” she appeared deep in thought for a moment. Meanwhile, Takamaki discussed another possible gift idea with me.</p><p>“Do you know his size? Maybe he’d like a new shirt, a tie, or maybe shoes. I mean, he wears those slides every day, even when it’s cold…”</p><p>I laughed—it was something I found quite strange about him, but it was adorable all the same. “I know, right? I tease him for it a lot. He just says they’re too comfortable to take off.”</p><p>“So, maybe not that, then…hm.” She hummed, a bright smile on her face, “Well, you already have an idea of one gift. Maybe while we’re getting that, another idea’ll come to you!”</p><p>Takamaki was, through and through, a cheerful young woman. She was vibrant and kind-hearted, the type of person that’s just instantly comforting to be around. Though I could sense a loneliness beneath the surface of her warm exterior, she truly seemed willing to help me, even on her day off. I felt honored, in a way, and I’m not ashamed of that. Ren’s friends were as charming as he was—and I thought, why weren’t the kids I went to high school with this cool? Maybe my memories from there would be much livelier if that were the case.</p><p>“Oh, I got it!” Okumura abruptly began, her excitement palpable, “How about a succulent? I’m embarrassed I didn’t think of it sooner, but my room is honestly quite filled with them; they’re just so adorable, and they make for lovely desk pieces! They’re easy to care for, too, especially when compared to other indoor plants.” As she eagerly awaited my response, Takamaki commended her for the recommendation.</p><p>A succulent was a great idea, to be sure—I especially felt Takuto would benefit from having something to care for, even if it required minimal attention. That sort of responsibility could be enough to drag him from burying himself in work as he had the tendency to do…and, perhaps, it could serve as a token of our friendship, and as something that (unfortunately) would likely outlast our bond. “I think he’d love something like that.” I simply replied, my lips tugged into a soft, gentle smile. “There’s a flower shop here, isn’t there? Would they sell something like that?”</p><p>“Mhm, it’s towards the back of the mall.” Takamaki informed me, appearing as though she knew the layout of this place like the back of her hand. “Not to far from here, actually!” she waved me over, signaling me to follow her. Our strides were slow as we spoke—truly, I appreciated the level of dedication they were putting into thinking of these gifts. Nothing meant more to me right now than getting something Takuto would find useful or endearing…</p><p>“Yes, I know the woman who owns the store. Apart from purchasing my fertilizer from Shinjuku, I buy many of my gardening supplies from there. The owner is very kind and gracious, not to mention highly knowledgeable, so I’m sure she’ll be able to help us find a great species that’s just right for Doctor Maruki!”</p><p>“Do you have any species you’d suggest right off the bat?” I asked the short-haired young woman thoughtfully as I dug around for my wallet in my bag. “I don’t really know anything about plants, but I <em>do </em>know I want something cute, because, um—”</p><p>“Something cute to match him, you mean?” Takamaki smirked, though I fully understood her teasing was all in good fun.</p><p>Okumura and I both quietly chuckled at her comment. “Y-Yes, yes. You read my mind, Takamaki. Also, something that lives a very long time would be great.”</p><p>“Hm, I see.” Okumura hummed, her eyes directed to her feet as she pondered upon her next words. “Well, some succulents are cacti, so they’re able to withstand harsh conditions and long periods of time with very little water, but Doctor Maruki will be taking care of it, so I’m sure it won’t even have to worry about storing up so much water…”</p><p>“Really?” Takamaki said, captivated by Okumura’s words, “Oh, they’re so cute! I think I might buy one and give it to Shiho.”</p><p>“Shiho?” I cocked my head, brows slightly furrowed. Was Shiho another one of Ren’s friends? I had to admit, however, the name Shiho sounded vaguely familiar, but I don’t think I’ve heard whispers of it since earlier this year.</p><p>“Yeah, Shiho! My super awesome best friend!” the love Takamaki had in her heart for this Shiho was damn near overwhelming. I’m sure Shiho didn’t mind at all, though.</p><p>“How is Suzui doing nowadays, Ann?” Okumura asked with a patient smile as we neared the flower shop, the greenery of it all now just within view.</p><p>Takamaki’s brief grimace was noticeable, but her expression quickly changed back to reflect her original happy-go-lucky attitude. “She’s doing great. She’s getting really good at walking for longer amounts of time now! I’m so, so proud of her.” That sincerity was beyond genuine. Suzui had a true friend in Takamaki, and Takamaki had a true friend in Suzui. I chose not to further inquire on the part about her walking. I think I had an idea of what it was—the rumors from before a post-Kamoshida world were starting to come back to me.</p><p>“Hi there, welcome in!” the woman managing the flower shop chipperly greeted, “Oh, hello, Okumura! I see you brought friends today.”</p><p>Okumura bowed slightly, “It’s always a pleasure to see you, Hanasaki. And yes, these are my friends!” she introduced us both, “If we could trouble you for just a moment, we’d like to ask for your opinion on a certain plant we could give as a gift.”</p><p>As Hanasaki’s face lit up at the request, Okumura patted my shoulder, signaling me to take it from here. “O-Oh, yes. You see, um…” thinking of Takuto was enough for my palms to grow sweaty, evidently. “We were talking about succulents earlier. Okumura seems to know a lot, but she recommended your personal opinion. I’d like to give it to a, um—a <em>close</em> friend of mine.”</p><p>“Understood!” Hanasaki exclaimed with a patient, welcoming smile, “What’s your friend like? Do they have any prior experience with gardening, or caring for plants?”</p><p>Takamaki began for me, “I’ve seen plants on his desk before.”</p><p>“They looked like plastic, though.” Okumura directly replied, “Most likely only for decoration.” It made perfect sense she had an eye for such things—I myself had no idea whether those ‘plants’ were real or not.</p><p>I continued, “Also, something with a long lifespan. I’d like for the lil’ guy to live a long, happy life with him. Oh, and one that’s just generally cute, too.”</p><p>“So, we’re purchasing a long-living, cute succulent that’s perfect for the beginner, is that right?” Hanasaki awaited a response, to which all three of us nodded. “Perfect! I think I have just the thing, if you’d allow me one moment.” With that, the attendant went further into her little shop, where she appeared to file around for the perfect seedling.</p><p>Takamaki turned to me, her posture and expression relaxed. “Did you come up with any other ideas yet, (L/N)?”</p><p>The sudden question caught me off guard; for a moment, I was only able to shake my head in response. “N-No, I’ve been thinking about…other things, to be honest.”</p><p>“Ooh, <em>other</em> things?” Takamaki and Okumura both giggled. “You’re really in deep for Doctor Maruki, huh?”</p><p>“I-I know…” I sheepishly averted my gaze to the floor, my lips pursed in a small pout.</p><p>“That’s not necessarily a bad thing.” Okumura added politely, “It just shows your feelings for him are genuine! I think it’s so sweet!”</p><p>Takamaki affirmingly nodded. “Totally! But, just letting you know, another idea just came to me. You think he’d like something like a piece of jewelry?”</p><p>“Jewelry?” I echoed, brows slightly furrowed.</p><p>“Yeah! I got a bracelet for my dad on his birthday, and he loved it! I’ve never seen him without it on.” Takamaki explained, her enthusiasm reaching me. With that in mind—wouldn’t a watch suit Takuto more? He always seemed to lose track of time whenever we were together, though I had no idea if that was an us-being-together thing or an unabashedly-Takuto-Maruki thing. Still, jewelry, like a bracelet, was undoubtedly enticing; the more I envisioned it, the more I realized how great it would look on him. A watch is not as personal as jewelry: a simple glance from a stranger may prompt a question on who gifted the bracelet to him, whereas a watch is presumably bought by its wearer.</p><p>Before I could reply, however, Hanasaki made her way back to the three of us. She held a mini terracotta pot in both her hands, a small, pale bud just barely protruding from the surface. “I think I picked out a plant that fits your descriptions pretty well.” She said proudly as she gingerly handed it off to me. I kept it close to my chest, instantly feeling a protectiveness for the seedling. “This is <em>Echeveria laui.</em> Echeveria as a whole are a pretty great starter plant, but this particular species is really known for its unique pink color.”</p><p>“Oh! I can’t believe I never thought of that!” Okumura started, somewhat bewildered, “Yes, yes, I have one of my own; when it’s fully grown, it’s really beautiful.” Both her and Takamaki gave an approving thumbs up, to which I nodded at Hanasaki.</p><p> “Lovely!” Hanasaki said as I pulled out my wallet, making sure to be extra cautious with the little plant, “I’ll give you a little pamphlet that explains how to care for them, too, since I don’t want to take up too much of your time. Good luck, alright?” her smile was enough to calm my nerves. With that sort of reassuring expression, I almost knew for sure Takuto would love this gift.</p><p>The three of us left Hanasaki’s store, though a warmth began to bubble within my stomach. Staring down at the living being in my hands, I felt a certain kinship with it, a parental instinct to protect it as if it were my child until I could put it in Takuto’s care. Was I a fool for cherishing the echeveria in this way? Before Takuto, I never had anything I truly wanted to protect before—nothing outside of my parents, at least. It might have been dangerous to think of him in such a way, but as long as he didn’t find out the full extent of my feelings for him, I didn’t see any harm in it. It was nice, honestly, having someone I loved so dearly.</p><p>The walk to the Tsurukame Jewelry Shop was a rather short one: in fact, it was nearly neighboring the flower shop. The rigid shopkeeper greeted us, her professionalism a starkly different breed from Hanasaki’s. “I wonder if they’re still in the same place…” Takamaki muttered, more-so thinking aloud, her finger lightly tapping her cheek. “Oh! Yay, they are! (L/N), over here.”</p><p>Under the spotless glass, several men’s bracelets were in a neat line. The display was very well lit, allowing us to observe every one of their features: some had engravings, while others had some sort of gemstone. The shopkeeper kept a watchful eye on us as we chatted further.</p><p>“They’re all quite lovely…” Okumura commented, her hands behind her back. “This will prove a difficult choice.”</p><p>“Which design did you pick for your father, Takamaki?” I asked, looking up from the glass and to the blonde.</p><p>“Hm?” Takamaki ran her fingers through one of her pigtails. “I got one with a custom engraving, but it takes a few weeks to make. Can you wait or do you need it now?”</p><p>Our meeting was in two weeks—I didn’t want to chance it. Biting my lip, I spoke, “I’d be more comfortable having it now. I don’t think he’s a flashy kind of guy, so maybe something more subdued would be good for him…”</p><p>“You’re right.” Takamaki answered, followed by a thoughtful hum. “Still, you don’t want it to be <em>too </em>plain, right? I mean, it is a gift, so you should go all out!” Something subdued, and yet, unique… would it be possible to find something that fit such a specific description? Hanasaki managed to find a seemingly perfect plant, though, so I should have faith—it was just much harder to trust in my own abilities.</p><p><em>I’m giving this too much thought,</em> I put on a brooding expression—furrowed brows, pursed lips, narrowed eyes—as I scanned the line of bracelets. They were all either too sparkly, too boring, too colorful, or too tacky, and I was beginning to lose hope. I stepped to the next display, where I was immediately drawn to a certain bangle. It was an elegant silver with a simple engraving that was befitting of his character, his aspirations, and everything else about him. This one noun was basically the very essence of Takuto Maruki—perhaps that’s what attracted me to it.</p><p>
  <em>幸福</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“-koufuku”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“happiness”</em>
</p><p>With a tender smile, I politely spoke to the shopkeeper as I pointed to the bangle, “May I purchase this one, please?”</p><p>From the look on my face, I was sure Takamaki and Okumura both understood I had no doubts about my decision. The bangle was safely tucked within a refined box, which bore the shop’s name. After paying off the rather exuberant price tag, I stored the small bag in the deepest pocket of my backpack.</p><p>“Ann? What’s wrong?” Okumura suddenly said, evidently concerned. Takamaki’s expression was a markedly lonely and indecisive one, spurring worry within me as well. “You look troubled.”</p><p>“Huh?” Takamaki seemed startled, her shoulders tense, “Oh, it’s nothing—I was just…thinking.”</p><p>“Thinking about <em>other things?” </em>I teased, mostly trying to lighten the mood and cheer her up in some way.</p><p>It appeared to work, at least: she giggled, though it was more of a reluctant one. “Yeah, I guess. Ryuji wears a chain, so I was just thinking…” as if to finish her sentence, her bright blue eyes landed on a necklace fixture beneath the glass.</p><p>Ryuji…did she mean Sakamoto? I’d only met him once, of course, but it’s impossible to forget a guy like that.</p><p>Okumura smiled at Takamaki, moving to give her a gentle pat on the back. “I think you should be honest with yourself, Ann…there’s no harm in admitting you like him.”</p><p>Was I supposed to be listening in on all this? I just stood there awkwardly clutching the pot, pretending I didn’t hear them.</p><p>Takamaki’s face promptly flushed red, “Y-Yes, there is! I mean, I don’t <em>like </em>like him, you know! I just—”</p><p>“That’s alright, that’s alright. Maybe another day.” Finally, Okumura’s attention shifted back to me, while Takamaki continued to gaze at her feet. “Are you ready, then?”</p><p>“O-Oh, yes. Yes, I think so.” I responded sheepishly.</p><p>Takamaki’s blush slowly faded, but I could tell she was still flustered—it seems I’m not the only one struck with the lovebug! “Wanna grab dinner with us?”</p><p> “Dinner?” it was a tempting offer, but the bangle burned a significant hole in my wallet, and I couldn’t let a couple of high schoolers pick up my tab. “I’d love to, but I have to head home. You two were a great help, by the way! I can’t thank you enough!”</p><p>Okumura cupped her cheek in her hand, her head tilted as a smile returned to her face. “Of course! We’re so happy we could help out one of Ren’s friends.” Takamaki gave an affirming <em>mhm!</em></p><p>As we walked back to Station Square together, we resumed the oh-so intrusive discussion about my feelings for Takuto. I told them how we met, when I first realized my feelings for him, and about all of our non-research related outings…</p><p>And, of course, I teased Takamaki for her obvious feelings for Sakamoto. Give some, take some.</p><p>"He’s just so stupid!” she said, all fired up, “And I don’t know why I love that about him!”</p><p>She was in denial, like I was. I wished them luck, truly.</p><p>"But, Haru, isn’t it your turn to say who <em>you </em>like?” Takamaki suddenly said, a smirk on her face. An interesting proposal, to be sure—Okumura was the only one to not divulge any sort of information on romance, like the two of us already did. Although, I went into much more depth than Takamaki did…</p><p>"Hm?” Okumura was completely unphased. “Well, us girls all unanimously agree Ren is quite handsome, is he not?”</p><p>Takamaki giggled, then nodded. “Yeah, you’re totally right about that.” I didn’t find that surprising at all. With the way Takuto fawned over him as his pupil, and they way comforting me came naturally to him, I don’t blame them at all.</p><p>Okumura wore a thoughtful expression. “Yes, Ren is someone I’ve been attracted to for a while, if I’m being honest. But—“</p><p>“But?!” if there were a seat, Takamaki would be on the edge of it.</p><p>“But I’ve taken in interest in Makoto after getting to know her more.”</p><p>Takamaki’s jaw practically dropped. “No way!” she said, baffled. “I had no idea! Why didn’t you tell me?!”</p><p>“Niijima, right?” I interrupted, once again feeling as though I shouldn’t be here, “I could definitely see it. You’re both very dignified and sophisticated women.”</p><p>"I know, right?” Takamaki chuckled. “C’mon, Haru, tell me all about it over dinner. Oh, and (L/N), it was so great to meet you!”</p><p>Okumura soon followed, “Yes, it was a pleasure. I hope we’ll meet again soon!”</p><p>“I work at the convenience store by your school, remember?” I started, “Please feel free to swing by any time, even if you just want to talk. It’ll be…kind of lonely without Takuto around, you know?”</p><p>Takamaki frowned, and I felt guilty for it; I really didn’t like seeing her unhappy, since she was such a lovely woman. “We’ll definitely be sure to. I’ll pass the message along to everyone in our friend group, too.”</p><p>"Have you met Yusuke Kitagawa as well?” Okumura questioned.</p><p>“On more than one occasion, yes, I have. But he doesn’t go to your school, does he?”</p><p>Takamaki shook her head. “No, but if he swings by, can you maybe hook him up? He doesn’t have much money—and when he does, he spends it on really stupid things.”</p><p>That did ring true, considering how he reacted when I offered to buy him kakigori back in Odaiba… “I’m not technically allowed to, but I definitely will anyway.” I winked, a mischievous grin forming upon my lips. Take that, stupid stingy bosses.</p><p>We parted ways soon after—I was beyond pleased. I purchased two wonderful gifts Takuto was sure to love, and I made two new friends along the way. It did strike me as odd I kept befriending high schoolers, but they were all so fun to be around that I didn’t even mind it anymore.</p><p>The train ride home was a peaceful one, to say the least.</p><p>· · ·</p><p>I had to stay up later than usual that night to work on an assignment I put off for far too long. With some coffee and pure grit, I sat at my desk and worked the night away, taking the occasional break to gaze at the baby succulent for a little extra motivation. I was nearly finished with it when I received an unexpected phone call.</p><p>When I saw his name displayed on the caller ID, along with the picture I set his contact to, my stomach dropped, and I could feel the blood drain from my face. Upon a quick glance at my alarm clock, it was 2 AM. What could possibly have happened that he’d call me so late? In my trepidation, my mind was soon flooded with all sorts of worst-case-scenarios; I fumbled to answer his call, my heart thudding so loudly I could barely hear myself speak.</p><p>“Takuto?” I shakily greeted him, “Are you alright? What’s wrong?”</p><p>There was silence on the other line, only serving to heighten my anxiety. Finally, he called my name, and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He sounded fine, aside from the quiver in his voice. “I-I’m sorry to call you so late. I really hope I didn’t wake you …” his breaths were markedly uneven and shallow, as if he were in a panic.  </p><p>“No, please, I was working on a school assignment. But, really, are you okay?”</p><p>Takuto’s chuckle was a sheepish one. “I’m okay. I know this is silly and childish, but,” he paused to deeply inhale and exhale. “I had a really unpleasant dream where you got hurt. It felt so real, so I just wanted to make sure you were okay…” Though he was obviously shaken by his nightmare, I couldn’t help but notice the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. For him to care so much about me that he’d call to make sure I was okay…how could I not be flattered by it?</p><p>“I’m alright, Takuto. I’m sorry to have worried you.” I tenderly reassured him, trying my hardest to emulate the very same gentle voice he’d put on when comforting me and undoubtedly countless others. “I’m here, safe in my home. All my doors and windows are locked too, if that’s of any help.”</p><p>“That’s…” I couldn’t see it, but I just knew Takuto smiled at what I said. “That helps a lot. Thank you.”</p><p>I wanted, so badly, to tell him I love him.</p><p>“This is going to sound very weird, but can I ask a favor of you?” it was ironic that Takuto was the one to stop me—save me, rather—from revealing that part of myself.</p><p>
  <em>Yes, this is the way it should be. </em>
</p><p>“You can ask me anything.” I simply replied.</p><p>He was silent, as if he were reluctant to ask me. But finally, he gave in, “Can you…stay on the line? Until I fall asleep again?”</p><p>“Takuto…” the nightmare must have been a particularly nasty one. Admittedly, I was extremely curious, but I wasn’t going to ask him to tell me when he was obviously so bothered by it: I can only assume I was brutally killed, or something like that. “Of course. I don’t mind at all. I was going to head to sleep soon too, actually.”</p><p>Takuto’s sigh was a heavy one, but it was as though something equally as heavy was lifted off his shoulders. “Thank you again, really.” He already sounded better, less unnerved, and more collected. I heard him shifting around in his bed before he spoke again. “So…how did you spend your Sunday? It was really nice out, after all.”</p><p>“I, um…” I crawled into my futon as well, after switching off the light. “I just spent it in the Underground Mall in Shibuya. I was doing a little shopping.”</p><p>“What were you shopping for?”</p><p>
  <em>Damn you, Takuto, I can’t tell you that. It’s supposed to be a surprise!</em>
</p><p>“F-For my mother. Her birthday is coming up…on the twelfth.” Thank you, Takamaki, for letting me use you as a scapegoat.</p><p>“Really?! That’s so sweet of you.” he sounded much more chipper now, as if this subject easily took his mind off his nightmare, but he wasn’t hiding the exhaustion in his voice as well as he thought he was. “What did you get her?”</p><p>“N-Necklace.”</p><p>Takuto had to let out a yawn before he could reply. Was he forcing himself to stay awake just to talk to me, or was I being too hopeful? “I’m sure…I’m sure she’d love it.”</p><p>“You sound tired.”</p><p>“Haha, you caught me red-handed.” His words started to blend together. “I am really sleepy.”</p><p>“Maybe you should sleep then, Takuto.” I playfully said as I laid on my stomach.</p><p>“Mmmh.” He mumbled, almost inaudibly, “Is it so bad that I want…to stay up a little longer…to talk with you?” as his sentence drew on, the pauses between his words grew larger.</p><p>I was in disbelief at his words, however. It was so blunt, so straightforward, that it sent me in a frenzy. Stumbling over my words seemed so easy now, as it now took the greatest effort to remain calm. “M-Maybe. You’re staying up when you should be asleep.” I muttered timidly.</p><p>“So are you.”</p><p>He was right about that.</p><p>“I don’t want to go just yet…”</p><p>But despite his best wishes, his body fought against his heart. Takuto was exhausted, and it wasn’t long after he protested his sleepiness that he become unresponsive.  </p><p>I waited for a good, long while, where I held my phone to my ear and listened to his soft, peaceful breathing. I wanted to tell him—I was <em>going </em>to tell him. Unless he thought to record this phone call, he’d never hear it, and it would be off my chest, at least.</p><p>“…Takuto?” I gently called, just to make sure he really was asleep.</p><p>There was no answer.</p><p>Again: “Takuto?”</p><p>In response, there was only his slow breathing. Truly, what a profoundly bittersweet way to confess my feelings! I almost felt great shame from such cowardice, but I fully understood I’d never be able to bring myself to confess to a fully conscious Takuto. This was the only way…</p><p>“I love you, Takuto.”</p><p>I wanted to imagine he said he loved me too, so I did just that. I smiled at that thought.</p><p>“Sweet dreams, my love.”</p><p><em>Someday, </em>I told myself as I hesitantly hung up, <em>someday I'd do this for real.</em></p><p>I couldn't figure out if I was relieved to 'tell' him, or left even more dissatisfied than before as a result.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>well hello there, thank you for reading! we've reached the halfway mark, and now inching closer to the juicy third semester bits ;) are u excited? </p><p>now reader-san's met every phantom thief, too !! had to sneak in my ship biases too hehe :3cc </p><p>next chapter's going 2 be both very cute and very painful, hopefully, so see you there! i just pray it won't take me a month again lol :((</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. tonight got me thinking about it all</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hey! im gonna upload this now and check for typos when i get back from work tomorrow hehe :3c but i hope you enjoy it! I did this all in the span of 2 days after realizing i only had like 5 weeks until school starts so apologies if it seems rushed in any way lol</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the days following my ‘confession,’ I was wracked with a certain anxiety of Takuto somehow discovering it. Our texts seemed normal for the most part, though I wouldn’t actually see him again until the congratulatory dinner—which would be happening in only a few hours. It could very well be the case that he’d decided to reserve such an intimate conversation for such an intimate night, under the guise of a candlelit homemade dinner. For all intents and purposes, this dinner was drenched in a romantic pretense, one shared between longtime lovers, not one between a researcher and his pupil. Takuto’s sheepishness toward the event—a heavy fear of ruining the food—was nonexistent; instead, he was rather nonchalant and unbothered. Therein lies the true meaning of the evening we’d share together, shattering the outward appearance of the romanticism I clung to and hoped for so badly. Even as the night would drone on, the tension between us sure to be discernible, I somehow knew I’d continue to hold tightly to this dream of mine.</p><p>My entire day was spent getting ready, working tirelessly over my appearance and fretting over proper color coordination. Every time I thought I was satisfied with my chosen outfit, I’d pass by a mirror, sneak a quick scrutinizing glance in, and end up reworking it entirely. Sometime around 2 PM, I decided to use some spare sheets to cover any place where I may see my reflection, for the sake of my own sanity. Even then, however, I still painstakingly wondered if any of my previous outfits were better than the one I finally settled on…</p><p>The time, too, passed by torturously slow—the hours were even more drawn out than what I’d feel working the store. Was time even real? Is this real? Am I really going to Takuto Maruki’s home to cook and have dinner with him? As blood quickly rushed to my face, I lightly patted my cheeks to get a hold of myself before I indulged in more, for lack of a better word, <em>inappropriate</em> thoughts. I shouldn’t imagine Takuto in that way, but the idea of him touching me in a way he never had—and likely never would—was too enticing to pass up on. Admittedly, I was also deathly curious of the figure beneath the lab coat and cheap-looking button up top. Oh, and just how good it would feel to pull him closer by his tie—</p><p>The ding of my phone was enough to pull me from delving any further into those fantasies, for better or for worse.</p><p><em>Hey! Sorry if you’re busy, but would you mind doing me a favor? </em>read Takuto’s message. I only felt an additional embarrassment that he would be the one to text me as I pictured us engaging in such amorous actions, like God himself was calling me out and wanting me to feel ashamed of it.</p><p>After a brief moment of deliberation, my thumbs tapped across the screen. <em>Sure. What’s up?</em></p><p><em>I was prepping some ingredients when I realized I forgot to buy cabbage. </em>Another text soon arrived: <em>Can you believe that? Lol </em></p><p>I let out a puff of air through my nose, a small smile on my face. <em>Lol did you want me to grab some on the way? </em></p><p><em>Plz. It’s absolutely essential! </em>And just a few seconds later: <em>I’ll pay you back btw. </em></p><p><em>Don’t worry about it. </em>I quickly replied, glancing at the time. It was time, oh my fucking God it was almost time. <em>I think I’ll head out now. Gimme an hour and I’ll be there.</em></p><p>
  <em>I gotcha. See you soon.</em>
</p><p>I nearly fell over when I stood up, as if my body were anchoring me to this place, reluctant to leave the safe and secure confides of my bedroom. Of course, I wanted to go see him, but the anxiety he lacked was something I carried in over-abundance.</p><p>There was one thing that puzzled me: how would I hold the succulent without him seeing it? I definitely didn’t want to just throw it haphazardly in my backpack without a second thought—not only was that uncaring, but soil would spill everywhere. But if I held it and stuffed it in the bottle holder right before I knocked on his door, then casually draped my coat over it to hide it? That was a genius plan if there ever was one. My hands continued to tremble even as I exited the tiny apartment, and my lungs seemed hesitant to breathe in the crisp November air. As I pushed on further, I insisted, my unease would subside eventually.</p><p>Before boarding the train at Yongen-Jaya’s platform, I stopped by the small grocery store adjacent to my complex. I had no idea if they even carried cabbage, or how to go about picking the best cabbage, but there was no harm in trying. The produce section was limited, including only the basic essentials: thankfully, cabbage was among them. Largely unsure of myself, I approached the display where I closely inspected the vegetables. Small beads of water ran down the leaves making the shade of green especially vibrant.</p><p>I picked one up: it was somewhat soft with looser leaves—that couldn’t be good, right? The next one I chose felt similar, though lighter. Then, I grabbed a cabbage from the very top of the pile: this one felt tight and compact, crisp and fresh. Quickly, I tossed the head from my right hand to my left: it was demonstrably heavier than my earlier choices, as well as possessing a certain bounce to it. It had to be the perfect cabbage; even so, I was debating asking an associate for their opinion. As Takuto said, it was an essential, so I couldn’t mess this up…if anything, this was the <em>one</em> thing I absolutely could <em>not</em> mess up on. <em>I’m being ridiculous,</em> I sighed inwardly as I stuffed it into a plastic bag with puffed cheeks. <em>There’s no way this isn’t a good choice. </em>With my head held up high, I started for the register. <em>Right…right? </em></p><p>Takuto’s home was surprisingly far away from where he worked, in Ogikubo—it was an easy commute with only a single transfer, sure, but it was still easily a forty-five-minute ride. I had no doubt in my mind Takuto spent countless mornings desperately trying to catch the train just before it departed, knowing he’d be late to work if he missed it. That image comforted me as my heart pounded in my chest, the thumping growing more unbearable every time the train arrived at its next stop. Maybe it wasn’t fair to take refuge in his clumsiness like this, but, again, I don’t think he’d ever mind something like that: he would laugh along, perhaps even make a self-deprecating joke of some kind, and I’d scold him for it. It honestly blew my mind just how much this man could put me at ease and, in the very same instance, completely shatter my heart with his obliviousness. He threw around the word ‘friend’ so willingly around me—I hated it. The knife that was that word sunk deeper within me every time he referred to me as his friend, drawing forth inward melancholic sighs, and yet, not wanting to abandon it all. What a strange thing love is, to yearn for his embrace more than anything else, but to be ultimately satisfied with the platonic state of our relationship if it was the only means of having him!</p><p>My stomach dropped when Ogikubo Station was announced over the speakers. His apartment complex was only a short distance away, but right now, it was like a never-ending tunnel where the light at the end never grew brighter. I gingerly tucked the baby succulent in the bottle holder, making sure it was snug and secure within its confides before I set off for my destination. The pleasant breeze hit my skin as soon as I stepped outside, as if it were a subtle nudge, a very much needed gentle push, toward Takuto’s complex. There he’d be (hopefully) eagerly awaiting my arrival—or, perhaps, the cabbage’s arrival.</p><p>And, as if on cue, I received a text from him: <em>Are you doing alright? It’s dark out now. </em></p><p>I stumbled with my response as I only had one free thumb: <em>I’m almost there actually. </em></p><p>
  <em>Be careful ok? Don’t reply to my texts if you’re walking around alone at night!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Too late for that lol</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hmph &gt;_&lt; </em>
</p><p>I snorted, almost dropping my phone in the process. Soon, another message came in: <em>I can’t wait to see you again. It’s been a while. </em></p><p>Shit. Though my mind was blank, I managed to type out a simple reply: <em>Me too :) </em></p><p>It seemed my feet carried me there much faster than I anticipated—perhaps the wind at my back played a part in that too, however. The complex ahead was massive and towering, almost intimidating. Nothing in Yongen was this big (of course it’s much smaller than Ogikubo), so the difference was rather jarring, to say the least. Takuto lived on a higher floor of the building, so I’d still have some time on the elevator to give myself a little pep talk…and to mentally prepare myself for whatever the hell was going to happen between us behind closed doors. I took this opportunity to drape my coat over my bag as well.</p><p>The ‘pep talk’ in the elevator was beyond unproductive: it was useless, in fact. All I could think about was what Takuto meant by that cryptic, ambiguous text message. He couldn’t wait to see me again? Is that something you say to a friend? Well, it’s certainly possible, but we see each other plenty of times during the week at the store, even if they were short interactions… The doors eventually opened on Takuto’s floor, but for once, I didn’t want to go see him. With a text like that, I began to reason as I stared at the words on my screen, did Takuto somehow hear my confession? Was he just pretending to sleep or something? Oh no…</p><p>Takuto messaged me again just as the color drained from my face. <em>(Y/N)? Did you get lost?</em></p><p>He was worried about me. It was more of a bittersweet feeling than I’d hoped for. <em>No… I’m here on your floor. </em></p><p><em>Oh great! </em>Right after I read it, I heard the distinct click of a newly unlocked door, followed by the creak of it swinging open. It was as though he was waiting for me beside his door…</p><p>I caught sight of the man in my periphery, and that alone was enough to make my heart flutter. “Takuto, I’m sorry, did I take too long?” I chuckled, stepping toward his apartment. “You’re not hungry, are you? I brought what you asked for.” I said as I proudly held up the grocery bag. Now, after getting a better look at him, his appearance was surprising. He was still a little messy, as always (it was part of his signature ‘sex appeal but doesn’t try’ look), but his clothes were so…normal! He wore a colorful sweatshirt with some comfortable-looking black joggers, alongside a pair of black house slippers. I never saw him wear anything but those khakis and button ups…he, honestly, was really sexy in such casual clothing and it was almost criminal.</p><p>“Please, come in! Oh, and feel free to set your bag down anywhere.” he warmly gestured, “And, no, haha, you came right on time, just as we agreed. Can you put the cabbage over there?” as I slipped off my shoes, Takuto pointed to the countertop adjacent to the sink before he moved into a different room. After leaving my bag by the coat hanger next to the door, I did just as he said, now being sure to take a good look around his apartment. Very unexpectedly, his home was minimalistic. It could be that he couldn’t afford much interior décor, or he simply wasn’t one for decoration, but the minimalist aesthetic suited Takuto. I never saw him as much of a materialist. Takuto soon emerged, now donning a plain light blue apron, while a darker one was draped over his shoulder. “Alright! Now we can begin. Want one?” he handed me the navy apron, the excitement strewn within his voice.</p><p>Matching aprons, huh…I’d love to take a picture of that, if at all possible at some point in the night. “Sure.” I tenderly said as I reached for the garment. Admittedly, I tried to sneak a whiff of it—it smelled of Takuto. I couldn’t help but wonder why he had two aprons, though—I only hoped it was because he liked to switch up between sky blue and navy blue. “So, then, what are we cooking?” I asked inquisitively as I moved to wash my hands.</p><p>Takuto mischievously smirked. “Do you think you can guess by looking at what I have laid out?”</p><p>“I dunno.” I mirrored his roguish expression, drying my hands off on my apron. “Would I get a reward if I get it right?”</p><p>For some reason, that joke of mine caused a faint blush to appear on Takuto’s cheeks. I wanted to take that image and capture it in my memory forever. “O-Oh! Well, let’s see…I could give you some coupons for snacks! I have so many—”</p><p>“Takuto, I work at a convenience store.” I heartily laughed, playfully nudging his shoulder. “It’s fine, it’s fine. Let’s see here…” I began scanning the ingredients laid out around the kitchen. It seemed there was already a pot of miso soup atop one of the lit burners, as well as a rice cooker working on its own. “So, we have miso and rice. Very traditional! Hmm…” my eyes moved to the countertop beside the stove. There lied an unopened fresh package of pork loin, eggs, flour, panko… “I think I get it. Tonkatsu?”</p><p>“You nailed it.” Takuto smiled, and I so badly wanted him to pat my head for getting it right. “Have you made it before? It’s honestly much easier than you might think.” He commented as he removed the plastic wrap from the meat.</p><p>“I might have made it once or twice, but not on my own.” I scratched my cheek as I awkwardly watched him, not really sure what to do with myself and not wanting to get in his way. “Again, I’m, um…I haven’t been very good with cooking home meals lately.”</p><p>“No worries! Here, why don’t you beat the eggs,” he paused to hand me a pair of chopsticks to use, “I’ll get to work on the batter.”</p><p>I warily took hold of the chopsticks, gazing at them in my hand for a moment before I finally moved to the two eggs placed neatly in a small glass bowl. After tapping them both against the side of the bowl, I gently swished the chopsticks around the whites of the eggs, staring at the bright orange of the yolk before I pierced into it. The yolk bled out into the whites, to which I tilted the bowl at a slight angle and began to whisk. I knew how to do this well, at least…</p><p>Takuto’s glasses slid down toward the tip of his nose, though he seemed unphased by it. He already flattened the cutlets into thinner slices, seasoned both sides, and prepped the flour and panko crumbs. “Are the eggs ready? No rush at all, by the way!”</p><p>“Yeah, I think so.” I presented the bowl to him, now a slightly frothy light yellow-orange mixture. “Is this good enough?”</p><p>“It’s perfect. Wanna shred up the cabbage now? Oh, and maybe cut some lemon slices?” he mildly suggested as he dredged the pork in the flour mixture.</p><p>Though it was a small task, it was so nice being useful to Takuto. This was in a different way than I was used to, of course, but helping with a meal should not go understated! Food was the fastest way into a man’s heart, and Takuto was a big snack guy, so this was just as important to me as the research. He most likely didn’t feel the same way, but still! It was an entirely separate relief that he kept assigning me tasks I felt comfortable doing. Beating some eggs and chopping cabbage were things even I could do, what with all my general overly cautious attitude tonight. After rinsing it and removing some of the outer leaves, I held the knife firmly in one hand, and grasped the head of the vegetable with the other. As I cut it in half, and then in half again, Takuto spoke up one more.</p><p>“Er, sorry,” he murmured, and at first, I thought it was because I was doing something wrong. “I don’t mean to boss you around or anything. Would you rather handle the meat?” he asked quietly, signing to the now coated cutlets. “All you’d have to do is deep fry it from here.”</p><p>“What? N-No, no, it’s alright.” To prove my point, I began to finely shred the cabbage. While still looking down at the job before me, I spoke again. “The whole deep-frying bit—I’ve never done it. I don’t wanna mess it up.”</p><p>“I don’t think you would mess it up, but alright, haha.” From the corner of my eye, I could see Takuto pulling out a pot and pouring a hefty amount of vegetable oil in it. “You’re doing a great job on the cabbage, by the way! I can never shred it that thin.” He stood behind me now as he waited for the oil to heat up.</p><p>I flushed at his compliment. “You think so?” smiling softly, I pushed the pile of cabbage to the side and cut one lemon into six wedges. “I didn’t think that was something you’d struggle with.”</p><p>“Yeah! You know, it’s a rather basic technique, but my slices always come out uneven.” He sheepishly rubbed the nape of his neck, and only just now I realized how close we were. I could barely feel his warmth at my side. “This is going to be a really great dinner. It was always going to be great since I’d be sharing it with you, of course, but the food’s turning out well, too!”</p><p>Saying something like that while I used an object that could very well cut my finger off was just on par for Takuto. Suddenly, my palms felt sweaty and the rubbery handle of the knife felt slippery in my hand. “U-Um…” I cleared my throat, an all too innocent smile plastered across my face, “I, uh, feel the same way.”</p><p>As if unbothered, Takuto moved to take the temperature of the oil. It appeared as though it were ready since he gently placed one of the cutlets inside, where it immediately began bubbling; the savory smell of the meat followed soon after. “I’m not quite sure I’m so interesting I’d make <em>any</em> dinner a good one, but I’m flattered you think so.” Compared to the way I spoke, there were stark differences in our tones. Mine was obviously flustered, nervous, while Takuto’s was demonstrably casual. And even so, he <em>still</em> couldn’t pick up on my not-so-subtle cues that I liked him. What did I have to do, put a sign on his forehead that said <em>I like you, date me, please?</em></p><p>Whatever. Just drop it. The night was too young to go and make things awkward now. “You shouldn’t say that. It makes me very sad!” I feigned a pout, stepping over to his side to watch the meat deep fry. The cutlets turned from white to a paler yellow.</p><p>"I-It does?! I’m very sorry!” he quickly replied, his eyes wide.</p><p>“Kidding. I was kidding.” I snorted, and Takuto lightly nudged my arm for it. It was such a friendly and normal exchange, but it was one of the only ways he’d touch me; it always left me desperately wanting more.</p><p>Takuto lightheartedly huffed as he flipped the cutlet over, revealing a barely golden-brown underside. He then tore several paper towels from the roll and set them atop a plate. “Well, that aside, would you mind turning on the burner for the miso?”</p><p>"Oh, yeah, sure.” I stepped to the stove and did just as he asked, turning the dial all the way to a medium-low flame. “Is this good?”</p><p>“Perfect. Be sure to stir it every so often as well! Oh, it really smells so good in here…I can’t wait to dig in!” while the cutlet bubbled in the pot, Takuto moved to set the dining table—rather, his coffee table in the living room. “I don’t actually have a proper dining table. I live alone and don’t usually have guests over, so I never saw a need for one. I know, bad, right?”</p><p>Removing the lid from the smaller soup pot, I gave a light stir with a clean pair of chopsticks. The smell of the miso was enough to make my mouth water, even in its cold state. “No, it’s fine,” I started with a giggle, “I’m the same way. As long as you keep your couch clean, it’s not much of a big deal.”</p><p>“Phew!” Takuto said after letting out a relieved sigh, “I’m glad you understand. I know some people are quite picky about, you know—”</p><p>“The sanctity of dinner?” I finished his sentence, sarcasm heavy within my voice. “Oh, come on, Takuto. I’m not a traditional old fart like that.” Takuto blushed, presumably embarrassed by his assumption, and walked back into the kitchen.</p><p>“W-Well, you never know!” he and I shared a small laugh as he took the now fried tonkatsu out of the pot; the bubbling seized, and the paper towel he set it on became wet with the oil. After quickly cleaning the oil of the leftover flakes, he quickly placed a new, raw cutlet inside. “Only ten more minutes and we’ll be ready to eat!”</p><p>My eyes locked onto the finished piece of tonkatsu. Some of the oil remained on the surface, still quietly sizzling, and the golden-brown of the crisp exterior was mesmerizing. It was the textbook perfect pork cutlet. “Did you want me to start putting the plates together, Takuto? You’re probably really hungry now. I think I see a little drool there by your chin…” I taunted with narrowed eyes.</p><p>“Oh, haha…” he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his sweatshirt, though there was nothing there. “That’d be great actually. I have some sauce in the pantry if you wanted to set that out on the table as well.”</p><p>I carried the cutting board with the mound of shredded cabbage and lemon wedges carefully to the coffee table. “Sounds good!” I separated the mound in two, I prudently placed a pile on each plate, flattening and evening it out a bit with my chopsticks. After putting the rice and soup into their own bowls and placing the seemingly homemade tonkatsu sauce next to the lemons, all that was missing was the tonkatsu itself. An especially mischievous part of me wanted to say, <em>Honey, it’s ready!</em> but did the rest of me have even an ounce of the courage I needed to actually vocalize it? Absolutely not.</p><p>“Perfect!” Takuto exclaimed, interrupting my thoughts, “This piece’s finished. What did you want to drink?” As he asked me that question, he grabbed a large carton of apple juice from his fridge and poured it into a cup. He really loved apple juice like nothing else—if it were available, he’d take it. Just another really cute, really endearing thing about him! Add that to the list.</p><p>“I’ll grab myself some water. Go on and eat, Takuto.”</p><p>Takuto watched me with narrowed eyes as I stood from the couches and walked to the tap, nearly blushing from feeling his gaze on me. “A-Are you sure? I mean, alright, but—”</p><p>“<em>Go on.</em>” I repeated, letting the filtered water slowly fill up my glass. “It’ll only take a second.”</p><p>The food was delicious, due in no small part to his expertise in cooking. He was the one who made the miso and the rice, as well as the crispy and tender tonkatsu—all I did was make the bed of cabbage it rested on. It was hardly a dinner we cooked together, and yet, it felt like it was. I watched him try not to get caught by any of the stray jumping oil, and when he did, mutter an <em>ow, </em>rub the skin, and chuckle to himself. It was exceedingly subtle—if I blinked, I’d be sure to miss it—but it was something I quickly caught onto. Admittedly, it was creepy that I so willingly scrutinized his every move when we were together, but could anyone blame me? It’s Takuto. This dinner we shared together was full of laughter, thanks to him. I was truly at peace right now, thanks to him. Every good, euphoric emotion that rushed through my body in this instance was thanks to him. At the same time, however, there was a sense of looming dread that would come with the end of this meal, and that time was fast approaching. The fact that he’d done such a good job cooking ended up as my undoing, as we quite literally scarfed it all down. The juicy pork cutlet, the crisp cabbage drenched in savory-sweet sauce, the rich miso, the comforting rice…it was so easy to let glutton consume us. By the end of it all, my stomach was full, and my heart was empty. The desire to repeat this dinner, over and over again so as to continue to be privileged enough to be in Takuto’s company, was an overwhelming one. With our final bites, the color of a night well spent turned grey—everything had to fade eventually.</p><p>“…Now that we’ve finished our food, I wanted to update you on the state of my research.” Takuto leaned forward, closer to me, his hands on his lap. “Is—Is that alright?”</p><p>I hummed curiously, “Mhm,” I gingerly crossed my legs, eager to listen to what he had to say. From his expression, the flecks of excitement and pride were apparent, despite his obvious attempts to remain composed. It seemed this news was something he was holding onto all night. “Good news, I hope?”</p><p>“Yes. It’s quite big news, in fact.” Takuto let out a breathy chuckle, though he averted his eyes away from me and to the floor. “I spent my last lunch at Shujin with Amamiya on Friday. I told him already, but…my paper’s done.”</p><p>The joy I felt for him filled my heart to the brim—still, it shocked me that he had already completed it. He must’ve spent many, many nights with a liter of coffee at his side to finish it this quickly. “Wow, Takuto, that’s—” my lips tugged into a warm smile, my eyes tender as I fondly gazed at the man before me. “That’s wonderful. I’m so, so beyond proud of you. What will you spend your time doing now, then?”</p><p>His head still tilted somewhat downward, his eyes quickly met mine once more. “Before that, though, I’ve mentioned this on more than one occasion, but truly, this is all thanks to you, (Y/N)—you and Amamiya. Had either of you not shared your experiences and insights with me—which, honestly, were incredibly eye-opening—this paper would’ve never been completed.” Takuto paused for only a moment, taking that brief second of silence to scoot closer to me; my heart was ready to practically leap out of my chest, but I held my ground in what little way I could. “Please, if you were to take anything away from our time tonight, and our time spent together this year, let it be the immense gratitude I have for all your help.”</p><p>I took a strand of loose hair and tucked it behind my ear before setting my own hands on my lap, unable to maintain eye contact with him as he was now so unbearably close. My mouth went dry as I replied to his profuse compliments. “Please, I—” his soft, beady brown eyes, once a comfort, were now like a piercing gaze upon my skin. “I enjoyed the time I spent with you. Whether it was for research, or it was just an outing together, I—I loved it all. I can’t really explain it, but…”</p><p>"There’s no need: I understand. I understand because I felt the same way about all of our meetings.” I noticed his glance at my lap, though it was a short-lived one. “Your hands…”</p><p>"My hands? What’s wrong with them?” I was too afraid to see the state of them for myself; instead, the soft carpet was the subject of my stares.</p><p>Silence overtook the room, though my own pounding heartbeat was deafening. It wasn’t another sound that shattered the stillness, however: it was the warmth of his hand atop mine own. I thought I was dreaming at first—a simple pinch would solve that, but I wouldn’t dare to move my hands away from his now. No, I’ve waited far too long to know what this was like: it was better than I’d ever anticipated. “They’re shaking. Are you alright?” If this was truly only a dream, I didn’t ever want to leave it.</p><p>“Yes, yeah, um,” my voice cracked, prompting me to clear my throat. “Maybe just a little nervous, um…I-I guess I’m just really happy? Y’know—I’m glad I was useful to you n’ all…”</p><p>“Is that so?” his voice trailed thoughtfully as he smiled, but it soon faded when he fully realized where his hand was. “Oh! Oh, God, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me!” he spoke much faster now, almost tripping over his words as he yanked his hand back and even inched away from me.</p><p>“Please don’t apologize.” I murmured, grasping at the hem of my shirt in frustration. “If it really bothered me, I would’ve pulled my hands away…”</p><p>Takuto joined me in staring at the floor, obviously ashamed by his actions. “Still, it was inappropriate of me.”</p><p>This most assuredly wasn’t a dream. If it were, he never would’ve let go.</p><p>“A-Anyway, you asked me what I would spend my time doing now, right?” he asked, a slight quiver to his voice.</p><p>“Yes. That’s right.” I answered, barely above a whisper.</p><p>Takuto nodded before he went on. “I only said my paper was <em>done.</em> It’s not ready quite yet. There’s still the revision process, as well as peer reviews. Cognitive psience is such a niche field, so it might take longer than anticipated, though…” the sigh that followed was a burdensome one. “I poured my heart and soul into this research ever since I was a grad student. For it to finally reach this stage—it’s unbelievable to me.”</p><p>“Takuto,” I was trying my very hardest to fully regain my composure. My posture, at least, relaxed a little bit. “You’re always going on about thanking Amamiya and I. What about you? Wasn’t it your perseverance, ambition, and hard work that got you to this point?”</p><p>“I suppose you’re right, in a way.”</p><p>“I am right.” I said matter-of-factly, “You could have the best research participants in the world, ones far more experienced in the ways of life than Amamiya and I were, and still wouldn’t have made as much progress without the work ethic you have. I know you have a tendency to put yourself down, but…” a timid, ambivalent smile appeared as my eyes crinkled at its corners. “Please, once in a while, recognize your abilities. You’re an incredibly dedicated man, Takuto—it’s time you realize that for yourself.”</p><p>“(Y/N)…” Takuto hummed softly, a hopeful sparkle in his eyes. “I assure you, I will.”</p><p>“Good, then. I’ll hold you to that promise, you know.”</p><p>He huffed through his nose, his expression still satisfied. “I’m sure you will.” His eyebrows soon furrowed, a more serious tone overtaking his earlier bemused one. “…Thanks to you, I finally know what I need to do. I’m going to stand up to the cruel state of our current reality. I swear I’ll use my research to make our world a better place for all of us.”</p><p>The passion he held in his heart for cognitive psience was tangible. His mind was wholly committed to it as an overflowing reservoir: a constant source of his energy and determination, it was like it was his very reason for existing. Further, the strained, trembling inflection as he made this pledge to me and to himself was surely an indication for something he was internally grappling with. Of course, he’d only laugh it all off if I were to actually voice my concerns… “You won’t be alone, okay?” I tenderly reassured him, “I may not be a cognitive psientist, but I’m going to help you change the world in my own ways. No matter how small, or how insignificant, I’ll do it.”</p><p>Takuto seemed pleased, and a nod of his head later he stood up. “I’m going to follow the path that I believe in from here on out, no matter what obstacles come in my way. I know you’ll be doing that on your end as well. I sincerely hope that, one day, at the end of that path, I’ll be able to aid you as well, even if you just considered it to be meddling in your affairs.”</p><p>I rose to stand beside him. “I don’t think I’d deny any help from you, Takuto.”</p><p>“That’s right.” Takuto grinned innocently, holding his hand out to me. “Though it’s not like this is the last we’ll be seeing each other—thank you for everything up to this point. And, most importantly, thank you for being someone I can lean on.”</p><p>I wasted no time in grasping his hand and giving it a firm shake. The hand-to-hand contact relived, though the spark of the previous touch was absent. How I missed it… “Takuto, I, um—” we put a distance between us once more, our handshake now over. “I have something for you, actually.”</p><p>“Wha—?” Takuto gasped, eyes slightly widened, “Now why would you do that, heh. What is it?” he asked, delighted.</p><p>I huffed, a bit embarrassed. “Wait there, alright? It’s in my bag.” Now felt as good a time as any to give the gifts to him, though going about presenting them was a different story entirely… Once I was by the coat hanger where I’d left my bag, I ruffled through its contents, reaching for the box containing the bangle. Then, using my body to hide my actions from Takuto’s undoubtedly snooping eyes, I quickly swiped the pot from the bottle holder and placed it in the party bag I brought with me as well. Turning to face Takuto, I made doubly sure a small handwritten card was securely tucked inside—thankfully, I remembered it, or I would’ve had to tell him what I’d said there aloud…</p><p>“Oh, wow. This seems pretty big.” Takuto sheepishly commented as he fiddled with his hands.</p><p>“It’s nothing major.” I hastily explained, using the tissue paper to fully conceal the gifts before reluctantly handing it off to him. “Be careful, by the way. One of the things in there could easily make a mess.” I bit my lip in anticipation as my hands fell to my sides. It was going to be awkward to just watch him open the presents—half of me wanted to cover my eyes until it was all over.</p><p>Takuto graciously accepted the bag. “It’s a little heavy!” with one hand on the handles and another steadying it on the bottom, he lowered himself onto the couch once more. I soon followed him, my legs crossed and rigid. “Let’s see here…”</p><p>He placed it on his lap, and, heeding my advice, carefully removed the tissue paper. It fell to the floor as he stared at what was undoubtedly the succulent. “This is…”</p><p>“There were lots of plants in the nurse’s office, so I just thought…” I murmured as I looked vacantly outside the window ahead of us, my finger idly twirling a strand of hair.</p><p>“It’s so cute! And it’s just barely growing too?” just as I did when I first held the pot, he seemed to take on a sort of parental instinct. He wanted to care for and protect it—I could see that plainly in his eyes. “What kind of plant is it?”</p><p>“<em>Echeveria laui.</em>” I answered, “A succulent. There’s a little pamphlet for how to care for it in there too. It doesn’t need a lot of attention, but I thought having it might remind you to take a break from working every now and again.”</p><p>“<em>Echeveria laui, </em>huh?” he said the words so lovingly, “You’re right, there, though. I do tend to get wrapped up in my work…this will help a lot. Thank you. I love it, I really do.” He set it on the coffee table, giving it one more adoring glance before going back to the rest of his presents. “There’s something else here?”</p><p>"Someone helped me pick it out.”</p><p>Takuto smirked as he reached for the jewelry box. “Oh, so you had someone help you choose gifts for me? That’s so sweet of you.” he chuckled, though he appeared shocked when he finally saw the container: his jaw practically dropped. “This is…a very fancy box.”</p><p>“Don’t mind how the box looks, silly.” I giggled, still struggling to look at him. “Go on and open it. It’s very, well, fitting for you, I think.”</p><p>After a quiet snicker, he opened the box, revealing the bright silver bangle. Prior to coming over, I made sure to place it engraving-out so it would be the first thing he’d see. “’Happiness…’” he muttered to himself, his eyes softening. “You know me too well, (Y/N). These are lovely gifts. I only feel guilty I don’t have anything to give you in return.” Takuto held the bracelet in his palm before he finally slipped it on. “It’s a perfect fit. Like it was custom made for me.”</p><p>“Maybe it was.” I playfully suggested. My heart was full of joy, however. He had a very serene air about him now after having been given these gifts. The succulent and the ‘happiness’ bangle…these were gifts he was sure to treasure forever. If I were to see Takamaki and Okumura again, you'd have to remember thank them—and, maybe, gush to them that Takuto put his hand on mine, even if it was only for a second. “Ah, there’s also a card in there, by the way. I mean, besides the pamphlet—it’s just, you know, like a cheesy handwritten note.”</p><p>“Would you mind if I read it right now?” he asked after pulling it out.</p><p>I flushed slightly, placing a hand on my cheek to cool it off. “N-No, as long as you don’t read it out loud.”</p><p>To describe my feelings for him without actually saying I loved him was a difficult task. I wrote the letter last night, still fresh in my mind:</p><p>
  <em>To Takuto,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>You’re probably wondering why I got you these gifts so randomly. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t sure if we’d be seeing each other around Christmas, and I couldn’t go without getting you anything. Aside from that superficial explanation, though, there’s another reason. I have plenty to thank you for, believe it or not.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Before I met you, I was pretty unsatisfied with the state of my life. I was just going through the motions, barely in touch with my friends, and felt easily replaceable. That all changed when we began our Monday meetings, though. Suddenly, I had something to look forward, something to shake up the mundaneness of my life, and the takeaways from our discussions are pieces of Takuto wisdom I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m so happy I played such an integral role in your research. I’m so happy we met. I don’t know how much we’ll be seeing each other from here on out, but no matter what, I’ll be yours to call on. I hope you’ll look at the succulent on your desk, and the bracelet on your wrist, and remember that of me. I hope that as you care for the succulent, you’ll be reminded to take a moment to care for yourself. I hope that as you read the engraving on the bracelet, you’ll be reminded to think of your own happiness, even if it’s only for a second. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Wherever your life ends up taking you, don’t forget to text me, alright? You’re important to me. I’d love to hear from you whenever.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>- (Y/N)</em>
</p><p>Thinking on it now, and after realizing how cringeworthy it was, I wanted to rip the stupid little paper from his hands.  However, Takuto looked up at me from the paper with watery eyes and a quivering lip—was he seriously that touched by my rambling? That thought alone was enough to bring me to tears as well. “(Y/N), you know,” he sighed shakily, pushing his glasses up so they’d rest on his head as he wiped his eyes. “…it’s been quite some time since I’ve felt so wanted like this.” Initially, I was extremely skeptical of that claim, but I somehow knew it to be true. “So, this—all of this: the dinner, the gifts, this lovely note—is so highly appreciated.”</p><p>“I-It was nothing…” I huffed under my breath, a bashful expression rapidly overtaking my face. “Just the truth. I—” I began, unsure of how to properly describe the complexity of my emotions for this man. He controlled this love-stricken heart of mine, for better or for worse. He made me feel like I was on cloud nine, while also tearing me down from that mountain in an instance. I loved him, with my entire being, and with everything that I am. And yet, those words which raced through my mind refused to come out of my mouth. Instead: “I-I really like you.”</p><p>Takuto’s expression softened. He didn’t understand what I meant—or maybe he did, but he didn’t want to acknowledge me in that way. “I like you too, (Y/N). Very, very much.” Those words stirred the butterflies within my stomach, but I was waiting for the recoil that I knew was coming. He sounded hesitant, as if he were holding something back just as I was: “You’re my most dear friend, after all…”</p><p>Like a fucking dagger; a dagger carelessly tearing through my heart.</p><p>“Yeah,” I whispered, fully defeated. “Exactly like that.”</p><p><em>Now wouldn’t have been a good time to be honest anyway, </em>I rationalized, <em>he’s still busy. To cloud his mind like that would be selfish. After all this is done, I swear, I’ll just confess. I can’t keep bottling it all in like this. </em>Whether that promise to myself would go fulfilled was another story.</p><p>“Still, I don’t like this idea of us not seeing each other around Christmas. Are you seeing family?”</p><p>"Maybe, depending on our work schedules. I’ll definitely be here Christmas day, though.” I replied, still shaken by our exchange.</p><p>“Let’s agree to meet, then. It seems we’ll both have a relatively lonely holiday. You don’t have to get me a gift then, by the way.” Takuto playfully japed, and the laugh I responded with was only half genuine. This night was, evidently, over. I hated that it ended on such a bittersweet note. I began to slip on my jacket. “Oh, yes, you’re leaving now. It’s really late.”</p><p>“If I stay for much longer I’ll miss the last train.” I tried to nonchalantly say, “But I’m glad we had such a great night together.” Well, it was a <em>mostly </em>great night.</p><p>“Can I walk you to the station? I don’t want anything happening to you.” it seemed he wouldn’t take no for an answer, as he already moved to remove his coat off the hooks of his hangar.</p><p>As I said my final goodbye to him right outside of Ogikubo’s main station, I caught the slightest hint of a sorrowful, downcast countenance on his features. Perhaps he was sad to have me go, unsure of when we’d see each other again. It’d surely be the first time he expressed any sort of forlornness about our departures from each other—as if he had little intention of keeping up with me as he’d promised. It was almost unbelievable to me, though, that Takuto would break his promise, but I had to get it out of my head that he was the perfect man. He did not care for me in the same way I did him: that was the cold, hard, desolate truth, and denial of that fact would only drive me further into madness. In the mostly empty train car, I struggled to hold my tears in as I tightly clutched my backpack to my chest, trying desperately to recapture the feeling of his hand atop mine. What the hell did that even mean? Why was he so flustered by it if, as far as he knew, we strictly thought of each other as good friends? Most likely, this question of mine would largely go unanswered. In truth, I must have been a fool for expecting things to go any differently.</p><p>I figured now was a good a time as any to vent to Ren about my utter failure to be totally honest with Takuto. After a quick scroll through my message history, I tapped on Ren’s name and typed out my string of texts:</p><p>
  <em>Tried confessing to him</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Went horribly lol</em>
</p><p><em>Well he didn’t know it was a confession I think but it still counts ok! &gt;:^/ </em> </p><p>Following an agonizingly long train ride, I finally reached my transfer station at Shibuya. For the most part, I drowned out the world around me: the usual hustle-and-bustle of Station Square now seemingly silent, instead being replaced with replaying images of Takuto’s enthusiasm for cooking, his research, and his gratitude towards me. I at least caught <em>those</em> words, though:</p><p>Leader,</p><p>Phantom Thieves,</p><p>Died.</p><p>My attention whipped to the displays on Central Street, where two popular media pundits were discussing the breaking news. The chyron told the whole tale itself: <em>Leader of the Phantom Thieves Commits Suicide While in Custody. </em></p><p>I’d had my suspicions about Ren since the school festival, but I sincerely hoped and prayed with everything that I had that I was wrong.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>next chapter's gonna be much shorter, like maybe 1-2k words, then it's third semester time baby!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. the day the sky bled</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>lmao "1-2k words" my ass i'm so sorry this is so bad but it's an intermission chapter so it's kind of expected</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I saw Sakamoto with Takamaki often. I caught a glimpse of Niijima with Okumura sometimes. On occasion, Yoshizawa would visit, but without Ren at her side. It had been like that for twenty-two days thus far.</p><p>His friends rarely came into the store, however. Often times, they’d go straight to school, then go straight home, appearing more tense than I’d ever seen them. The atmosphere among the Shujin students demonstrably shifted since their counselor’s departure, and understandably so. To rip away a reliable support system like that was surely unfathomably difficult to navigate to. My heart always hurt for the poor kids there, but even more-so now.</p><p>Forgetting Ren existed was a non-starter—he hadn’t answered my texts from almost a month ago: the last time I’d spoken with Takuto in person. And yet, there was something telling me he wasn’t dead as I presumed him to be, if my suspicions of him being a Phantom Thief were correct. His closest friends, although exceedingly on edge, seemed all too eager for something they were no doubt plotting behind the scenes.</p><p>I had the chance to confirm it all now: Sakamato and Takamaki were in the store right as school ended for the day—a Saturday, a half day. I did remember Takamaki’s affections toward this goober of a man, but right now, it didn’t appear to me that they were having lunch together as a couple. Their expressions were rigid—though Sakamoto’s was a tad more relaxed—as they stared down various foods and drinks, eyeing each one before shrugging indecisively and placing it back on the rack. It was excruciating to watch this unfold, as their hesitance stirred a sort of unsettling anxiety within <em>me,</em> a mere bystander. What could they be doing that required so much thought?</p><p>Suddenly, from behind a wall of snacks, Sakamato’s exasperatedly groaned. “Ren usually does this sorta shit… What’s the difference between this udon and that udon?!”</p><p>“Keep it down, Ryuji!” Takamaki hissed back, in a much quieter tone. “You know he can’t be out here right now. It’s up to us.”</p><p>“I know, but—” I heard several items fall into a shopping basket. “Let’s just take ‘em all. We’ve got enough money, yeah?”</p><p>“That’s not the <em>point—</em>we still have to meet Makoto and Haru at that gun shop.” Did I hear that right? A gun shop? And what’s more, what’s this about Ren usually doing <em>this sorta shit?</em></p><p>“Yeah, yeah. It’s prolly not that big of a deal. We can give whatever’s left over to Yusuke or somethin’.”</p><p>"Ugh, fine, but if we’re short there, I’ll tell Makoto it’s <em>your</em> fault.” Takamaki’s gentle giggle resounded before she spoke again. “And it won’t be my fault if anything happens to you from there.”</p><p>Sakamoto let out a defeated sigh. “Let’s just go now.” He said quickly, his voice cracking ever so slightly. Was Niijima really that scary? Sure, she was the student council president, but Sakamoto sounded truly afraid to bear the brunt of her wrath… Snapping out of my thoughts, I stepped out of my aisle and gingerly walked back to the cash register. I only hoped I appeared as oblivious to everything I’d just eavesdropped on as I wanted to, instead greeting the two with a plastered-on smile: “Are you two all set?”</p><p>Takamaki greeted me with a warm smile, calling me by my last name—honestly, I was surprised she remembered, as we’d never spoken again since that day in November. “It’s nice to see you again! It’s been a while.”</p><p>Sakamoto raised an eyebrow, his eyes darting from Takamaki to me, then back to her. “You know each other? When’d that happen?”</p><p>“Oh, nothing special.” I began, idly reaching for the items in their basket. “We just met by chance one day and spent a little time together, along with your friend Okumura.” This mixture of items was peculiar indeed: udon, soba, and tarts; some energy drinks, juices, and canned coffees. It could’ve easily been for a party, sure, but everything was just so randomly and haphazardly chosen—that was the impression I got, at least.</p><p>“Yeah! That was a pretty fun day, huh?” Takamaki cheerfully exclaimed. “Did <em>you-know-who</em> like the gifts?” she said in a quieter tone, as if Takuto was in earshot.</p><p>“Hm?” I hummed, a reminiscent smile replacing the more superficial one. “Yeah. Yeah, he loved them. Thank you; can you thank Okumura for me, too?”</p><p>“Of course, no worries!”</p><p>Sakamoto, evidently lost in our little secret, scratched his head. “You do look kinda familiar.”</p><p>I nodded. “I saw you at the festival all the way back in July. I was with Shujin’s old counselor, Dr. Maruki?”</p><p>He was seemingly wracking his brain trying to remember me. Was I that forgettable? It almost hurt me. “Oh…oh yeah! I remember now.”</p><p>The beeping of my scanner filled the silence before I read out their total. Sakamoto shot Takamaki a smug grin, as if to tell her he was right—they had plenty of money left over. He was a surprisingly easy book to read. I still hadn’t asked them about Ren’s whereabouts, even as I handed them the few bags of their things. There was so much I wanted to ask, and those questions flooded my mind but refused to leave my mouth—what was I even so scared of?</p><p>“Well, see ya later.” Sakamoto offhandedly said, turning his back to me and starting for the door alongside Takamaki.</p><p>“W-Wait, hold on.” I weakly uttered, and Takamaki whipped her head back, brows furrowed in her confusion.</p><p>“What is it?” she asked, Sakamoto stopping in his tracks as well.</p><p>I gulped before answering, my fists clenching my work apron as I struggled to get my words out. “It’s about Ren…”</p><p>Their faces ran pale at the mention of his name from my mouth.</p><p>“Is he—is he alright? It’s just, I haven’t seen him around here for almost a month now. I’m kind of his friend and haven’t heard anything from him too, so, um—”</p><p>“He’s fine.” Sakamoto interrupted with a sort of hostile, over-protective tone to his voice, “Don’t worry about him.”</p><p>I blinked, unsatisfied with such an ambiguous answer. “Are you sure?”</p><p>Takamaki appeared troubled for only a moment, eyes downcast before that expression was quickly replaced with her typical cheerful one. “Mhm!” her voice was greatly exaggerated. “He’s, um—he’s with his family in Inaba! Something came up there, you see, and he just <em>had</em> to go all the way there.”</p><p>“Oh…” I sighed inwardly. This was obviously not the truth, but I had to make do with what I had. At the very least, Ren was alive—at least, that was what they fully led me to believe. “Well, alright; thank you for telling me. Have a great day, then.” And they left without getting another word in edgewise. At that point, my shift was nearly over. I was to drudge through my one class in a few hours before retiring to my little apartment in painful obliviousness as to the status of Ren. That answer from Sakamoto and Takamaki was never going to be enough.</p><p><em>Did this mean he wasn’t a Phantom Thief, then? </em>I repeatedly pondered over the course of the day, especially so as I was lost in the crowd of people in Shibuya on this distinctly cold December evening. Of course, that’s only if I were to take their words at face value. I’d heard from Ren that Takamaki was a particularly poor liar, and that little exaggerated display certainly felt like a brown-nosed lie. Truly, I still wasn’t convinced, but <em>if</em> this was the case—that Ren was simply an ordinary high schooler and in fact not a Phantom Thief—then the <em>real</em> leader was dead, and their escapades were over. There was no word from them since Okumura’s death, after all. Despite what fears and seething hatred the general public carried for that group, I’d always be appreciative of them—in secret, of course. Being a ‘fan’ of them still was and always will be taboo.</p><p>Another thing was on my mind, however: tomorrow was election day, and I was still reluctant to cast my vote for Masoyoshi Shido. Just as the public was taken with the Phantom Thieves, so, too, has Shido captivated them. I felt like the outsider this time, the only one I knew—apart from Takuto, at least, who elected to not vote this election cycle—who had doubts about this stereotypical strawman of a politician. It seemed like he was unanimously going to win, anyway, so I wondered if going out to cast my ballot was even worth my time. I’d rather stay home on a cold Sunday, especially with finals just around the corner…</p><p>Aside from Shido, Goro Akechi also seemed to live rent-free in my head these days. His television appearances mysteriously ceased, and it had been quite some time since he’d put a word out. Even more strange, however, was the fact that no one seemed to notice his disappearance—rather, they didn’t seem to care much at all. It was difficult believing the general masses could be this fickle, to go from one popular figure to another, casting aside its previous fixation to rot as if it were nothing, and yet, it was true; I wanted no part in this ignorance. I would rather silently preserve the Phantom Thieves’s legacy on the Phan-Site (which was now overrun with hate-mail) and in my own life than partake in such absentminded behavior.</p><p>As for Takuto: he was missing-in-action, for the most part. He’d occasionally call to check up on me, and I to check up on him, but it was very sparingly—and increasingly so as time went on. I truly wasn’t sure if he was still interested in spending Christmas together. I recently received word I’d be working on Christmas Eve, so I’d be here then, as well; I was too afraid of burdening him to divulge him with that information. At this point, I willingly resigned to the fact that my meetings with Takuto were over, no matter how badly I wanted to be in denial of it. The promise I made to myself a while back would hold true, it seemed: to indulge in my feelings for him for the remainder of the year, only to let go of them as January rolled in. It was sure to be a lonely start to the new year; I was not looking forward to it by any means.</p><p>All was still—at least, as still as a bustling city could be—until the screens on the buildings and billboards faded to static. The silence, apart from the gasps of the unwitting crowd, was unnerving. It wasn’t a moment longer that the infamous symbol of the Phantom Thieves was displayed. I stopped there, dead in my tracks, my eyes and ears wholly averted to the screen anxiously awaiting what would come next—and it seemed those around me followed suit.</p><p>An eager, distorted voice quickly followed: “What is <em>up</em> everybody?!”</p><p><em>It’s them,</em> I heard someone call out, <em>It’s the Phantom Thieves!</em></p><p>“We are the ones you know as the Phantom Thieves,” said a calmer, more monotonous voice.</p><p>
  <em>Is that even possible?</em>
</p><p>“And all of us are alive and kickin’!” a cartoonish cat replaced the logo, as the eager voice continued, “But those shitty guys in power? They’ve been manipulatin’ information to try and hide the truth,” the annoyance and passion in his—presumably his—voice was palpable.</p><p>I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The animations on screen were surely intentionally eye-catching, but I couldn’t help but wonder where their production value came from, or how they even managed to pull such a stunt off. They really were amazing…</p><p>“So, before we appropriate our next target,” began a distinctly female voice, “We would like to first borrow your time!”</p><p>The deeper-voiced figure took over, “The recent scandals of public figures, the accidents caused by psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns—these weren’t caused by unknown reasons. One man is behind every single instance, simply to satiate his own greed.”</p><p><em>Is this real? </em>A man asked someone next to him. <em>I dunno,</em> she pensively responded.</p><p>“That man was afraid his crimes would be exposed and shifted the blame on us,” said the female voice, “He even manipulated the police for that.”</p><p>“We only steal the hearts of criminals,” continued the spunkier voice, a tone of malice deeply seeded within it, “but this asshole tried to dump what <em>he</em> did on <em>us.</em> That just shows he doesn’t care about those victims at all!”</p><p>
  <em>Who could that even be?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>There’s no way this is real. Just ignore it, honey.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Come on, tell us already!</em>
</p><p>“The identity of that cowardly man is—”</p><p>And their broadcast abruptly cut. Groans resounded from the crowd surrounding me, and from me as well. Even with that tangible disappointment now pervading the air around us, I knew this wasn’t over—they’d be back, somehow and some way. So, even as some around me began to file back towards whatever aimless destination they were heading to before, I stood my ground, my eyes glued to the screens. “Come on, Ren…” I murmured under my breath, the name sure to be drowned out by the commotion of the city. Wholeheartedly, I believed in his abilities. “Come back already..!”</p><p>The cartoonish animation quickly returned, as if he answered my call. A warm smile tugged at my lips, to which I hid from others with my scarf.</p><p>“The man behind it all is a current cabinet member, of all things—the Minister of State for Special Missions: Masoyoshi Shido!”</p><p>To say we were stunned would be an understatement: we all stood in place once more, gazing dumbfounded at his official portrait. Shido—the man who everyone thought would take this country and revitalize it, the man who everyone emphatically loved, adored, and respected—was the criminal behind the mental shutdowns plaguing Japan for some time now? Truly, I didn’t know whether to feel relieved or disturbed my deductions and prior weariness of him were correct. I wish they weren’t, honestly, considering he was likely going to be elected anyway—who would believe the Phantom Thieves at this rate anyhow? It made my stomach turn.</p><p>“Everything that guy says is a lie! And to prove that…” the female voice pulled me from the nausea now beginning to brew within me. From there, the display shifted from Shido’s portrait to eight silhouettes. Their light mostly obscured their figures making it impossible to discern their identities, unsurprisingly. Still, I could make out that they were wearing rather flashy costumes. More importantly, however…their features, or what little were distinguishable, were strikingly familiar: namely, the figure of a girl with pigtails. The female voice currently speaking was also reminiscent of someone I personally knew—someone with pigtails as big as hers.</p><p><em>Could it really be her?</em> I thought to myself in my moment of realization. <em>Then, that would mean… </em>“Look! As you can see, all of us are alive and kickin’! I’m sure the people investigating us can tell if this is a lie or not. Shido himself will soon confess to all the crimes that he’s committed; please look forward to it everyone!”</p><p>Police sirens grew louder and louder as they approached us, while traffic guards pushed pedestrians back onto the sidewalk. It was a fruitless effort, to be sure—the general public was far too enthralled, at least at this moment, to listen to orders.</p><p>“We’re not gonna sit back and watch some crook wreck this country just ‘cause of his goddamn ego!” Now, the camera zoomed to two male-looking outlines. Their masks and details of their costumes were more visible, but still, their faces were shrouded in shadow. “Ain’t that right, Leader?” the man on the left looked to the other to his right. The camera panned to an up-close shot of ‘Leader,’ who was silent for only a moment before slowly stepping into the light. His piercing, dark eyes striking us all behind his black and white mask. From there, I knew for a fact it was Ren—eyes like his followed and gazed into you, revealing all your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. That was exactly the feeling I got from this man.</p><p>He spoke, clear and undistorted. “Yes. Before that happens, we will take this country!”</p><p>It was unmistakably Ren’s voice.</p><p>· · ·</p><p>As I predicted, the warnings of the Phantom Thieves fell on deaf ears. I, of course, refused to show up to my local polling place—I could not, in good conscience, vote for a man with so much blood on his hands. Other people, however, had no problem casting their ballot for seedy old Shido. He ended up winning in a landside victory, as we all expected. It was almost like they forgot the Phantom Thieves even existed, and increasingly so as time went on.</p><p>I feared the worst for the country until he confessed to everything the vigilante group accused him of. I was proud of Ren and his friends for somehow managing to pull this off, to expose such a vile, corrupt man no matter how the public reacted—that was something that took an immense amount of courage.</p><p>After gathering that the identities of the Phantom Thieves were, indeed, Ren, Sakamoto, Takamaki, Kitagawa, Niijima, Futaba and Okumura, I wondered if I could ever look at them the same way again. This group of teenagers were the <em>true</em> saviors of Japan, and I had much to thank them for. Maybe, in order to remain discreet about this sort of epiphany, I’d give them some free lunch from work. For Kitagawa, though, I’d be sure to give him quite a few free lunches…</p><p>The people around me were as sheep-like as always, however—it was as though they continued to blindly follow Shido, or at least believe in him and the authority figures in this country in <em>some way</em> to make things right again. I could understand their intense desire for a return to normalcy, but with the state the world was in right now, it was selfish to turn a blind eye to all the victims who suffered at the hands of Shido’s dirty work. They just didn’t care. They wanted a leader, a strong one, who wouldn’t bend the knee to a ‘menace’ like the Phantom Thieves. I had Yoshida in mind—most others held true to Shido, like obsessive fanatics.</p><p>Though a lack of skepticism could be considered normal, this simply was not the case in my eyes. <em>Everyone </em>unanimously wanted Shido to take over, no matter what he did. No one had a dissenting opinion—in fear of being reprimanded, I kept mine to myself. Furthermore, there was a looming sense of dread that only grew stronger as the days went on, an indescribable sorrow diminishing my already low sense of holiday spirit. Takuto finally got back to me, at least, regarding our Christmas outing on the 24th: he wanted to make it. The arrangement was to meet at my house for karaage; he said he had a gift for me, too, so there was something to look forward to in my peculiar bleakness.</p><p>This overwhelming sensation caused my feet to feel as though they were dragging a ball and chain with every step: a prisoner of sorts, confided to some sort of jail which I could not figure out. What was I prisoner to, exactly? And why, further, did my body feel like this? So drained of energy, empty of life? It was difficult to understand, and even more difficult to describe. The walk from work and subsequent train ride to Shibuya felt especially arduous as a result; the emptiness crept in the compact cars, even. Perhaps I was being paranoid, but this feeling was one I simply could not shake, no matter how far I pushed it within the depths of my psyche.</p><p>As I sat staring at my feet, I took a second to glance up, only to make sure the train was still towing along: it was, obviously, but it seemed stuck in place. I noticed a boy wearing a Shujin uniform standing in front of me next to the doors. He wore a look on his face that told me he was feeling the same way I was, to an extent. His brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed as he stared pensively at his own feet, his mind running a marathon just as mine was. He was friends with Ren, I think, and was yet another student caught in Kamoshida’s web of cruelty, as well. His bruises were always the darkest, his voice—back then, at least—carried a sort of hopelessness that was on par with what I was feeling right now.</p><p>Just before I was going to retreat back into myself, I caught the state of Shibuya as the train ascended. I couldn’t possibly even conceive was possible in this realm of reality—what <em>was </em>this? What were these bone-like structures propping up and growing from the concrete ground, from hell itself?! The dread I’d been experiencing thus far exponentially grew worse as I clutched my abdomen, eyes widened with a heartbeat I could feel in my head.</p><p>I’d been speechless, until— “Ah..?!” the dark-haired boy exhaled as he leaned toward the window, eyes open wide in disbelief. Just then, the red ooze the bones were bathed in leaked into our train car. The nausea was unbearable at this point as I drew my knees into my chest, not wanting to make any sort of contact with whatever liquid was now poisoning this world. The boy then stepped back, his actions mirroring my own. “What’s going on here?! What is—” his tone began as more of a screech, though he quickly cut himself off. The people around us, evidently, were utterly unphased by this hellish landscape as they stared at us both, confused and in a daze. Their eyes were strangely glossed over, as if they were dolls rather than human beings. That soulless, lifeless, and empty gaze was enough to chill me to the core—perhaps somewhat more than what transpired outside. To be surrounded by people so listless that they’d willingly surrender to circumstances like these…I didn’t know what to be more afraid of.</p><p>The boy and I locked eyes—and for only a brief moment, the two of us wholly understood only <em>we</em> took notice to the nightmare Shibuya; a mutual nod of the head was all we needed to communicate.</p><p>My legs were too weak to stand and walking through the ooze that now flooded the streets was sickening, but I had to press on. Truly, <em>no one</em> cared about this at all. I heard whispers of a new smartphone announcement, of great weather, of Christmas plans, of business meetings—it was as if this abnormality wasn’t unfamiliar to them. It completely boggled my mind.</p><p>I grabbed onto sleeve of the boy’s shirt insistently, my throat tight as I struggled to speak. “H-Hey…” I murmured, my voice low and trembling. “You—you see this too, right?”</p><p>With a terror-stricken voice, he slowly replied. “Yeah…I do.” Good, then—at least I wasn’t hallucinating.</p><p>“What the hell is this…?” I was on the brink of tears, wobbling alongside him as we couldn’t risk getting caught in the crowd. “What do we do?!”</p><p>He crossed his arms, deliberating his next words before speaking again. “L-Let’s investigate this a little bit more,” he warily began, “We can meet back in Station Square in a little bit, I just—I just need to see if I can find someone…” a poorly-timed cryptic response indeed…</p><p>I exhaled shakily, my eyes low before hesitantly nodding my head. “Okay, okay. I’ll see you later, then, um—”</p><p>He gleamed my name from my name tag which I forgot to take off, apparently. “It's Mishima.”</p><p>Before I could say a final goodbye to him, however, he was off like the wind. He said he needed to find someone—a lover, a parent, a friend, perhaps—and, truly, worrying over Takuto’s well being never left my mind either.</p><p>Intending to get a closer look at the structures, I ran to Station Square—the opposite direction of where Mishima went off to. Seeing it from here, it was a ghastly thing: a bridge of sorts that led to a haunting building I’d never seen before. What was there? I wanted to take a step on it, half-afraid the bones would collapse beneath my feet, but—</p><p><em>Not yet. </em>A booming voice—one not belonging to me—rang out in my head. <em>Your time will come soon enough.</em></p><p>“Who..?” I whispered as I frantically searched around me, trying desperately to locate the source of that otherworldly voice. It had to be this world toying with me, somehow—or maybe I really was letting this all get to my head. Then again, how could <em>anyone</em> remain calm in a situation like this?</p><p>In all my searching, however, I spotted something rather peculiar. Perhaps it was selfish of me, but my blood turned cold when I realized it wasn’t Takuto. Carefully, I approached it, and as I grew closer, I made out the figure of a boy lying on the ground. Everyone stepped over him, ignored him entirely, as if he weren’t there—or, maybe, they just didn’t know he was there.</p><p>His eyes met mine—and, for once, they weren’t glaring. They were subdued, calling out for mercy, for help.</p><p>“Ren?!” I immediately called out, feeling a chill go up my spine as I more hastily approached him.</p><p>Ren didn’t reply. Rather, he slowly bared his eyelids, as if he were submitting to whatever was responsible for all this.</p><p>“Ren!” I cried out, “What are you doing?! Come on now, get up—" but as I tried to lift him, my hands passed right through his body, as if he were an apparition. “What the…”</p><p>When he opened his eyes once more, I noticed the way all color drained from his irises. He promptly gave me a reassuring gaze, as if to tell me he would handle this—handle this how?!</p><p>I slumped back, defeated as all I could do was watch this young man disappear before my very eyes. No longer feeling my heartbeat, I leaned forward only slightly, touching the spot he was laying on just a moment ago. “Ren…” I uttered under my breath, feeling the wind hit my cheeks as they were now wet with my tears. And yet, an even greater fear struck me as I sat there upon the unforgiving concrete: “Takuto…Oh my God, Takuto!”</p><p>But no matter how many times I called or texted him, he wouldn’t pick up. It was just like me to jump to the worst possible conclusion—I was completely desolate and heartbroken. I didn’t know how long I lay dormant on the sidewalk of Shibuya, trying so desperately to get in contact with Takuto—but I eventually heard a scream. It seemed people were finally starting to come to their senses, and that number was growing with every second, but I lost my own reason to care.</p><p>After some time, I ultimately brought myself to my feet and drudged to the Station Square, suddenly remembering my promise to Mishima. I wondered if he was there already, worried for me, if I was going to meet the same fate as the countless people who suddenly evaporated into thin air. I couldn’t stop asking myself: why me? Why did I get to live and watch in horror, unable to do anything, as the world was seemingly coming to an end?</p><p>I saw him in the middle of the square, along with a gathering and antsy crowd, all staring up at the red sky. Dejected as I now stood beside him, I followed suit—the sight of the being in the sky grounding me back in reality. “What is that…? God?” I said under my breath, clutching tightly to the hem of my shirt. This being was—honestly, it was beautiful. It was grotesquely beautiful, exactly how I’d imagine a God to be. Now laser-focused on the grand gold-and-white being, the sounds of terrified screams and the feeling of being pushed around as everyone scattered was drowned out. I could do nothing but watch: and, from what I was observing, it was fighting something in a way I didn’t understand.</p><p>I vaguely heard Mishima call my name. He said it as more of a comfort, than anything.</p><p>“Mishima…” I turned to him, my face contorted in concern. “Did you—did you find who you were looking for?” I asked distinctively calmly among the chaos.</p><p>He gave a brief glance to the ground, his arms crossed as his shoulders were raised. He didn’t have to say it, but I knew he didn't. “Did you?”</p><p>“No.” I admitted reluctantly. “I can’t reach him.”</p><p>“I just feel so useless!” he angrily shouted, stomping his foot and clenching his fists. “I can’t believe I can’t do anything but just—just sit and watch!”</p><p>I gazed above once more, “Someone’s fighting back.” I reminded him, “And they’re putting up one hell of a fight. For now…” it was admittedly hard to gather my strength in this way, but still, there was some semblance of hope I could find Takuto among this sea of people. “For now, let’s try to—”</p><p>A rumbling, like a strong earthquake, cut me short. And, only a moment later, there was another intense shake.</p><p>“Up there!” someone from the crowd pointed out: the divine being was growing impatient, as its attacks were growing much more powerful from what I’d seen before.</p><p>“Are they…losing?” a woman despondently wondered.</p><p>Out of the corner of my eye, I sensed Mishima's growing agitation. For a split-second, a victorious smirk appeared on his face, and he mouthed the words <em>found ‘em.</em></p><p>He promptly raised his fist up before exclaiming his support: “Take it down, Phantom Thieves!” While I wanted to join in on his chant—the static screens of Shibuya now bearing their faded symbol—others around us weren’t so willing. They stared at us—at Mishima—like we were lunatics. His lips narrowed as he drew his eyebrows together, looking back at them all is if <em>they</em> were the insane ones. “Come on!” he cried out pleadingly to them, “Why do you think they’ve risked their lives all this time?!”</p><p>His impassioned speech swelled my heart. I began begging the others myself.</p><p>He continued, “Dammit, you guys! Snap out of it!” he put his hands on his knees, bending over slightly, breathless as he shouted, “When will you stop running from the truth?!”</p><p>There was silence for an uncomfortably long amount of time as Mishima and I hoped desperately someone—anyone—would remember them. Of course, it all made sense to me: that Ren, of all people, would be the one to assure me that he’d take care of this.</p><p>“Yeah, Phantom Thieves!” my voice trembled as I yelled. Others soon joined in on our cheering, until we were roaring in support of the Phantom Thieves. “Beat that thing!”</p><p>Mishima was elated as he faced the sky once more, watching as their mark on the screens grew clearer.</p><p>“Mishima,” I started, my heart full of pride for this young man, “Look at what you did.”</p><p>He appeared bashful, but it didn’t last long—he was too excited to let anything phase him now. “It’s up to them now…”</p><p>It wasn’t too long after when the sky itself rumbled, and quickly turned grey. A thunderstorm? No…</p><p>Another being—one on the same scale as the thing Ren was fighting—descended from the heavens. It was remarkable, and at the same time, I was in disbelief. “Is this…from our cheering?” I asked myself, my mouth soon agape. So this is how the Phantom Thieves changed hearts…and now, they were moments away from stealing another one.</p><p><em>Keep at it, Ren</em>. I said inwardly, mirroring the praises from the public.</p><p>The demon lord, born from the wishes of the masses, attacked the god of control, destroying it instantly. Humanity, as it seemed, was victorious. The hearts of the public changed, though none, not even Mishima, would remember what transpired that afternoon. I was alone once more; even my texts and call history to Takuto were erased. Still…</p><p>My thumbs tapped across my screen, pondering on how to check up on him without being overly pushy about it. Things seemed back to normal now, of course, but I didn’t know about the state of those who disappeared…</p><p><em>The weather’s nice today</em> I ultimately sent.</p><p>It took hours for him to respond—and I watched my phone endlessly until he did. Thank god, at least he did.</p><p>
  <em>Yeah ^_^</em>
</p><p>It was such a simple response—just one word and an emoticon—but it brought an immense amount of relief to me. He was alive…</p><p><em>Actually, I was going to text you</em>, he began, another message soon rolling in. <em>I’m sorry, but something with my research came up. I can’t make tomorrow.</em></p><p>I was probably supposed to be happy he was making progress, but I only wished that ‘something with his research’ came just a few days later. And yet: <em>Ooo I’m happy for you</em></p><p>
  <em>Thanks (Y/N)</em>
</p><p>Just as I was about to reply, he sent me a seemingly benign message—this one, for unknown reasons, knotting my stomach:</p><p>
  <em>Have a good new year &lt;3 it’ll be better.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>third sem time baybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. the witch of aeaea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>January ninth marked the sixteenth since Takuto’s eerie text message; since then, I hadn’t heard from him again. Not only that, but his number ceased to work altogether—he abruptly removed me from his life, without so much of an explanation as to why. It wasn’t like him at all, to just up and leave with only a vague message.</p><p>Even stranger: gaps in my memory of my time spent with Takuto cropped up. When the new year began, I could barely remember how we met, what we spoke of in our research sessions, and even events as recent as what I’d gifted him in November. The only thing I truly held a grasp on for quite a while were my romantic feelings for him. From Christmas, with him gone, I’d only learned to yearn for him more intensely. Absence made my heart grow fonder, in this case, where much of my mind was occupied by him, trying so desperately to reclaim our memories together. The frustration of this particular inability gnawed at my heart, my insides, and my chest felt tight and heavy. It was pure, unadulterated guilt that held me down from partaking in the same peculiar euphoria everyone else seemed to have nowadays.</p><p>Indeed, everyone I’d encountered thus far was over the moon with joy and satisfaction. They celebrated their newfound accomplishments—even with things that previously seemed impossible. An absurd amount of people, for example, were turning in winning scratch tickets to my store. At first, I fully suspected a conspiracy; there was <em>no way</em> any group of people could be this lucky to be scoring jackpots left and right, as if the odds were as high as flipping heads on a coin—but no, every card was as genuine as they could be.</p><p>The general manager at my job even went as far as to increase my pay (something I inwardly hoped for for as long as I could remember) and gone much easier on me. Now, they commended my work, my customer service skills, and my efficiency; that behavior extended to my co-workers as well. It was so unusual of him, to actually offer praise without going on to nitpick something else. Further, even my school life drastically improved. My professors grew less strenuous with the workload and the harsh grading relaxed, where one mistake that would typically drop me down a letter grade was now overlooked completely. With that, I now had more time for myself, allowing me to actually cook on my own like I’d always wanted to.</p><p>As January went on, the numbness of Takuto’s absence slowly began to fade away, as did my recollections of him; and so, too, did my vexations with not being able to remember. A part of me held true, however, and resisted whatever overcame me to feel this way. I never expected getting over him would be this easy, and I hated that I was starting to. He was much more important to me than to be cast away from my mind so effortlessly.  </p><p>Today was Monday, I noted. I at least recollected that Mondays were when I’d meet with Takuto, but at this point, I couldn’t remember why or where we’d meet. I just knew he was there and that I always looked forward to them. Not remembering the full details didn’t bother me all that much anymore, truth be told—I did miss him, though. I wondered what we’d talked about, and why we’d spend so many Mondays together throughout my entire shift filling in for another co-worker. It was a short-lived workday, as it turned out, since my manager let me clock out early. Gathering my things from the employee’s room, I continued to muse on these mostly pointless introspections even as I left the store.</p><p>A familiar face was there to greet me as he sat on the benches right next to the entrance. He called out my name urgently, as if he were deathly afraid I wouldn’t notice him. My stomach dropped at the sight of him, and immediately, my body grew tense.</p><p>“What—” I started in disbelief, “What are you doing here?”</p><p>His straight, jet black hair hung over his pressing eyes, his fingers tapping upon his lap nervously as he invited me to sit next to him. I did, despite my better judgement.</p><p>“I needed to see you again.” He simply answered, biting his bottom lip as he contemplated his next words. “I know it’s been a while since we’ve spoken.”</p><p>I pulled my bag to my lap, holding it tightly as a sort of anchor. “You couldn’t just text me or something, Hayato? You had to come all the way here from Iwatodai?”</p><p>“This is too important to talk about over text.” Hayato replied insistently, “I’ve been thinking a lot about us, and how things ended between us back in high school—I regret it all.”</p><p>Nearly reeling back in my bewilderment, I needed to take a moment to recollect myself before responding. “What are you saying, then? You’re the one who ended it with me because I decided to move so far away…and, last I checked, weren’t you in a relationship already?”</p><p>He hung his head low, unable to look me in the eye, ashamed. “I told you, I regret it. I want you back, and I came all the way here from Iwatodai to tell you this. I ended it with my partner, by the way—the more I spent time with them, and all the other people I’ve dated since you, I realized how no one could ever compare to how happy I was being your boyfriend.”</p><p>“Hayato…”</p><p>“Breaking up with you was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.” He resolved, his gaze fiery and oh so assured. He was serious about this…and something within me compelled me to accept his feelings.</p><p>“I-I don’t know what to say…” I crossed my arms, looking off to the side bashfully.</p><p>Hayato pleadingly took hold of my hands, closing the distance between us as he now looked at me directly. His words were marked and distinct, but upon closer inspection, his eyes were vacant—completely unlike the unerring stare I’d took note of on first glance. “Please, (Y/N).” he drew his eyebrows in and thinned his lips, but his eyes remained glossed over. “I don’t need an answer now. I just—want you to know I’m begging you for a second chance.”</p><p>It took every bit of my willpower to not accept him—I couldn’t explain that. I knew I loved Takuto, but with my high school sweetheart here in front of me, even though I’d long moved on from him… “Can you—can you give me a little time? This is just a little sudden, you know?” I laughed sheepishly as my throat tightened.  </p><p>Hayato withdrew himself from me, sweaty hands retreating back to his lap. With him putting a gap between us once more, I felt slightly more at ease. “Yes. Yes, of course. Take your time.”</p><p>As I hesitantly stood up—again, something beyond me was imploring me to stay by his side—I slung my bag over my shoulder, gazing tenderly upon this man who’d, once upon a time, broken my heart. This disquieting, yet uncontrollable, warm feeling I got when looking at Hayato was reminiscent of when I had dated him—and of my feelings for Takuto.</p><p>But this wasn’t right.</p><p>Hayato was supposed to be in Iwatodai with his partner who’d clearly loved him more than I ever could; and Takuto…Takuto was supposed to be here as well, thriving, and being loved by me. I clenched my fists, but for only a moment, so as to hide my uncertainty from Hayato. “I’ll keep in touch.” I murmured, “I gotta head to school now, though…” a bold-faced lie, but I needed to clear my head and get away from this abnormality.</p><p>“I’ll be waiting.” Hayato shot me an empty smile, and I was soon off.</p><p>Where I once thought Takuto had left my heart and mind, he barged back in as I now reexamined the state of my feelings for him. I wholeheartedly loved him—that was now clear to me—and maybe I still do. It was certainly a longing that crept back in unannounced, where I once again had the desire to seek him out again. He still had to be in Japan, at least…and I needed to relocate him. If I were to accept Hayato again, I’d need to first find closure with Takuto—that was an essential that I would not and could not overlook.</p><p>And yet, when given the opportunity to transfer to the line that would take me to Ogikubo, I instead elected to head back to Yongen: for what reason, I did not know, beside my newfound and overwhelming exhaustion. Maybe it was from the sudden news, I reasoned, but it was so odd…my once tangible resolve to speak with Takuto again all but disappeared, vanished into thin air, all in the matter of a twenty-minute train ride. I was never so docile and so willing to give up—even with my obvious unrequited love, which I was only now starting to remember, I was stubborn as a mule, refusing to let go of my love for Takuto. Alongside the sudden change of behavior in not just Hayato, but in my boss and my professors, this pleasant, so happy world was far too uncanny.</p><p>As I exited Yongen’s station, I waded through the plastic smiles to Leblanc, the doll-like faces excited to go to their new dream jobs, where they were always successful no matter the trade. Leblanc coffee would clear my mind—Boss, too, could possibly lend an ear to my plight. At least, if he were willing to hear of such troublesome drabbles in this otherwise perfect world.</p><p>But when I approached the door, just a short distance away from the station, I was met with the sign, usually flipped open, to closed. Boss never closed in the middle of the day like this—even on holidays, his doors were always open. And, for as long as I knew Boss, running a quiet coffee shop was his dream—did he truly have another aspiration I never knew about?</p><p>Even so, there were a large gathering of high schoolers inside: from the door, I could make out Sakamato, Niijima, and Kitagawa. Ren and Yoshizawa were not with them, surprisingly enough. Not wanting to intrude on their get together, I was about to take my leave of Leblanc to instead head home, but—</p><p>“So where’d Ren and Akechi go?” Sakamoto asked in his typical loud tone. A pause, and then: “Odaiba? Why there?”</p><p>Odaiba..? I said it aloud a few times, my feet walking me back to the station I’d just departed from. <em>Odaiba, Odaiba…</em> the name sounded vaguely familiar on my tongue, though I’ve never been there. Even further, I had no idea why my body was mindlessly heading toward the place. There was an inkling of a memory resurfacing, but it was still too faint. “Odaiba…” I whispered to myself, “Odaiba. Takuto…”</p><p>I stood frozen in place as the train rushed past me and grinded to a halt, the sound of my gasp drowned out by the overhead announcer and the clicking of the tracks. It was as though the glass reality around me shattered to pieces, far too small to ever be rebuilt.</p><p>I remembered everything: how we’d met, his cognitive psience research, when and where I’d realized my feelings for him, as well as the extent of them. Most importantly, I remembered Takuto’s off-putting behavior at the summer festival—he was there. I was sure of it.</p><p>And I was going to confront him no matter what would come in my way.</p><p>· · ·</p><p>In place of the in-construction stadium was, alarmingly, a center of melancholy: seemingly overnight, an ethereal, towering gold and glass structure was erected. The architecture was unlike anything I’d ever seen before, haunting, and yet, extremely comforting. I braced myself for what was inside, far too involved and determined to find Takuto to turn back now.</p><p>The interior resembled a laboratory-clinic hybrid. The walls and furniture were blindingly white, too, and there were people inside as well. I tried conversing with some of them, so as to inquire the nature of this place, but they were so passive and only spoke of attaining true, unwavering happiness. I quickly disquieted as I explored this place more, only adding to my unease as I traversed further in.</p><p>I did not know where I was going—the laboratory was certainly grand and full of winding paths—but an otherworldly being was guiding my every motion. It, whatever it was, pushed me to hide in the shadows whenever I’d pass those tall, doctor’s-coat-touting humanoids in masks. Within my very soul, I was protected: the so-called nurses of this place were dangerous, it’d subconsciously tell me. And as I proceeded farther on, the sound of a heated commotion grew louder. My stomach turned as I approached it, my heart drawing me closer and closer as if it knew that’s where Takuto was.</p><p>As I turned the corner, a path revealed itself, which led to a rather dim and ostentatious auditorium. From this distance, even without the light…</p><p>Takuto was there, atop a staircase next to a gaudy chair—a throne, of sorts—where Yoshizawa sat in a stupor. The eerily smiling crowd behind them wore all white, and Ren and Akechi were at the base of the stairs, looking up at them both. I rushed to their side and felt the hairs on my neck stand up on end as I sensed something intangible manifest behind me, carrying the wind at my back so I could reach them faster.  </p><p>Takuto was different. The air about him drastically changed, where his demeanor was much more assertive and dominant: his hair neatly slicked back, his face clean-shaven, and donning an all-white suit…and yet, he was still the same man. He was kind, and passionate—I, at least sensed that from him.</p><p>Breathless, I stood behind the two young men, my face contorted in hurt. My throat refused to cooperate, and in that moment, I could not vocalize a single thing.</p><p>“(Y/N)…” Ren said to me, eyes widened behind the mask I’d known so well. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“Never mind them.” The man in the black mask, presumably Akechi, snapped back. “Maruki’s here; we’ll deal with them later. Hey, you,” Akechi eyed me, obviously annoyed. “Make yourself useful and stand back.”</p><p>“What? No!” I said decisively, and just as I was about to continue, to make my case for my being here, the lights turned on, revealing the sight I’d seen from the entrance to this room.</p><p>Takuto’s hand was stuffed in his pocket as he looked down on the three of us. I immediately grew tense and wanted to just give into him. I wanted him back. I wanted to <em>go</em> back to the time before all this mess. A lump formed in my throat as I held back my tears, my own gaze distorted from the tears, and yet still unwavering.</p><p>“Thank you for coming.” Takuto started, “I didn’t expect to be visited by you, though, (Y/N).” he commented after turning to me.</p><p>“What exactly do you mean by that?!” I exclaimed, shouting at him from the top of my lungs. My heart shattered to speak to him like this, but everything—all my pent-up frustrations, disillusionment, and sadness—poured out and into the force behind my words.</p><p>From ahead of me, Ren spoke up: “What’s wrong with Sumire?” his tone was laced with concern, though he remained calm and collected—a shining example for how I <em>should </em>be acting right now.</p><p>
  <em>Sumire? As far as I knew, her name was Kasumi…</em>
</p><p>Takuto turned to her, a tender smile on his face as she sat there peacefully. “She’s only sleeping. I’ve never had any intention of hurting her. Once her inner turmoil begins to settle, I’ll have her remember her life as she wishes to live it.”</p><p>This time, Akechi responded, irritated by Takuto’s words: “The life that she wishes for, huh? Call it what you like—you’re merely brainwashing people for your own satisfaction.”</p><p>
  <em>Brainwashing..?</em>
</p><p>Takuto’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m wholly aware that some will interpret my acts that way… But if that self-satisfaction leads to the happiness of thousands of others, don’t you agree that outcome is for the best?” he started, going on to speak pleadingly, “Ren—if I understand correctly, you went and checked in on your friends this past week. This reality is the one that they all wished for. Did any of them seem troubled by that fact?”</p><p>Ren looked to the floor before Takuto continued.</p><p>“This reality is the ‘true’ reality—all you have to do is recognize it as such. Once you do, you’ll be just as happy as they are. Didn’t you see it yourselves?” he went on in an attempt to persuade us—to persuade Ren, “Your friends don’t just want to live these lives—they want you to choose this reality for yourselves and live happily too. Please, I want you to understand; for their sake, as well as yours.”</p><p>“Takuto…” I started quietly, my fists clenched. <em>A </em>true<em> reality? </em></p><p>Ren appeared to be in deep contemplation, while my hands stung from the nails digging into the flesh of my palms.</p><p>“Well, it’s time…” Takuto remarked pressingly, followed by an exasperated sigh from Akechi. “For the sake of Yoshizawa, and the rest of your friends—I ask you to give me your answer.”</p><p>"Takuto Maruki!” I yelled behind grit teeth and a clenched jaw, my voice demanding and thundering. I so desperately craved answers, and this conversation was moving far too quickly for my liking. “You—are you behind all this, Takuto? This building, everything that’s changed in the world... And Hayato, too?”</p><p>Takuto nodded without a moment’s hesitation. “Yes. I brought Hayato Matsuda back into your life.”</p><p>“Why—” it began as a confused, heartbroken murmur, but swiftly reverted back into a shout, “Why would you do that? Why would you toy with him like that?”</p><p>Takuto’s eyes turned soft, his voice following suit, as if he were pitying me. “In your heart, you wished for something I could not provide.”</p><p>"So, instead, you decided to make my ex-boyfriend beg for me back. What about what <em>he</em> truly wished for?”</p><p>“Matsuda was always unsure of himself, I’ve found.” Takuto stated matter-of-factly. “Just as you told me you regretted how things ended with him, so, too, did he.”</p><p>Akechi scoffed at us. “What is this, some sort of lover’s quarrel? We don’t have <em>time</em> for this!”</p><p>Ignoring his words, I felt even more anger well up within me: betrayal that Takuto would play with my emotions like that; disappointment that he’d be so cowardly to manipulate an innocent party because he couldn’t let me down gently. “Come on, Takuto. You’ve known me for this long, and you think this is what I’d want?!” I shot back at him, my heart pounding uncontrollably. “I would rather—I would rather live on with the pain of not having you by my side for the rest of my life, than to live a false reality with someone who I was never meant to be with!”</p><p>
  <em>Ah, to finally be freed of these burdensome restraints!</em>
</p><p>“N-Ngh..!” An immense pain tore at me as I gripped my scalp, trembling and writhing from side to side as a pulsating beat in quick succession.</p><p>"Could it be?!” Akechi started, his previous condescending attitude stripped away now.</p><p>
  <em>I see you’ve decided to stop running from yourself. In that case, why don’t we form a team of sorts?</em>
</p><p>The pressure was building in my head unbearably, unrestrained screams escaping my throat as I grappled with this agony, an intense throbbing, a head-splitting affliction.</p><p>"There's no doubt about it..." Ren muttered to himself. </p><p>
  <em>Since you’ve been rejected thus far, will you throw caution to the wind and wreak havoc upon those who dare threaten your love?</em>
</p><p>Through the torturous stings throughout my body increased in severity, I grit my teeth, staring directly at Takuto as I responded to this voice which grew nearer and nearer, louder and louder with every pulsating ache. “I will do,” I breathlessly cried out, “whatever it takes!”</p><p>
  <em>I’m glad to hear it—best you remember that oath you swore to me. We shall proceed with the contract.</em>
</p><p>With a screech, the pain momentarily ceased, an assured grin tugged at my lips as I reached for this mask which appeared at my eyes in a flash of blue flame.</p><p>
  <em>I am thou, thou art I. </em>
</p><p>Silence reigned as everyone watched with bated breath.</p><p>
  <em>Life is filled with treachery and deceit; it is time you save the one worthy of your devotion in this wretched world!</em>
</p><p>The mask stubborn, unwilling to remove itself from me until I casted every last modicum of doubt away and tore this mask asunder. </p><p>My head snapped up, a pool of hot blood descending from my scalp, dripping down onto the floor as I held this gold, antlered mask in my hands.</p><p>“I will <em>never </em>accept this reality.” I declared, my mind, body, and soul filled with a newfound determination. One look at Ren from Takuto, and I could tell my sentiments were echoed.</p><p>Takuto’s eyes widened, his tone markedly disappointed. “Huh?”</p><p>“Negotiations seemed to have broken down.” said Akechi, a sly grin on his face.</p><p>“…I see.” Takuto shook his head before continuing, “It seems we still haven’t reached an understanding. And (Y/N)'s awakened to their power now, after all...”</p><p>Suddenly, Yoshizawa awoke from her slumber, uttering only a despondent, “No…” she stood up, trembling, unable to face us. “You’re not serious, right? Please—I’m begging you, Ren-senpai. Please let me live as Kasumi!” she was so desperate, it pained me to hear her speak. Even more infuriating was the way Takuto looked down on her, pitying her.</p><p>“Don’t hide from the truth.” Ren firmly replied.</p><p>Yoshizawa stomped about, her posture growing tense, her face contorted in a sorrowful display. “But why? This pain is too much! Why can’t I just leave it behind me?!” she was gasping for breath, her panting shallow and rapid, “Kasumi is gone forever, and—and it’s all my—all Sumire’s fault! I can’t live that kind of life!”</p><p>In a flash of blue, Yoshizawa’s outfit changed—one that was similar to Ren’s—and she donned a mask as well. She jumped to our level, still breathless as she now stood in front of us with wild eyes. “Please—don’t try to stop me!”</p><p>And Takuto stood beside the throne as an onlooker.</p><p>She reached for the sheath at her side, revealing a brilliant silver rapier, swinging it about haphazardly. “If you do, then I’ll..!”</p><p>“Are you serious?” Ren replied, parts of his collectedness now lost.</p><p>Placing the mask back on my face—a perfect fit—I raised my hands up to show that we were of no threat to her. “Yoshizawa, don’t do this…”</p><p>Akechi stood straight. “How stubborn… No matter what you say to her, I doubt she’ll understand. I don’t think we have a choice in the matter here.” Turning his back to her, he leaned in closer to Ren, speaking these words in a volume barely above a whisper. “I could take care of it for you right now, but you’d prefer her to leave here alive, right? Just hurry up and end this.” and so he walked off, leaving only Ren and I to confront Yoshizawa.</p><p>“Please. Don’t make me do this…”</p><p>Ren eyed me, fists clenched as he reached for his dagger. Were they about to fight? “You just awakened to your Persona. Will you be alright?”</p><p>“Persona..?” I mumbled to myself—so that’s what this power was called?</p><p>
  <em>You will be just fine, I assure you—for you have Circe, witch of Aeaea at your side!</em>
</p><p>This voice…it was reminiscent of the one that called to me on that day, the near apocalypse that took place in Shibuya. “I’ll be okay. Circe will guide me.” I smirked, reaching for my mask once more. It was funny, really, how I’d only obtained the power of my Persona just a few minutes ago and know exactly how to call upon her.</p><p>
  <em>You have a lance at your back. Take that out. Use it.</em>
</p><p>And so there was, a large lance, gold at the hilt and white at the blade, which appeared heavy but was light as a feather in my hand.</p><p>“I can’t stop this…” Yoshizawa said, only slightly more composed now as she stood up straight. “I refuse to live as Kasumi’s killer!” The red-haired girl called for her Persona, Cendrillon, and rained blades down on Ren. It barely affected him—I was sure he was going to die from that sort of strike.</p><p>Ren bellowed the name Satanael, and the demon lord from <em>that </em>day manifested. He was ruthless, striking Yoshizawa with a discomforting red and black mist. She reeled back, falling flat on the floor. He turned to me with a nod. “Now’s your chance. Let’s end this and help Sumire come back to her senses!”</p><p>End this..? “Circe!” I cried out, “Don’t kill her.”</p><p>
  <em>I have no intention of injuring a most treasured ally.</em>
</p><p>She—rather, I—cast a blinding light on Yoshizawa while she was down. It seemed to end the fight instantly as she moved to all fours, sweat running down her forehead and onto the floor.</p><p>“Ngh…” she groaned, utterly defeated.</p><p>Akechi soon joined us once more. “Looks like you lost,” he bluntly commented.</p><p>“Why..?” Yoshizawa refused to face us, even now.</p><p>“You need to stop, Sumire,” said Ren, “Our fight’s over now.”</p><p>“Ren-senpai…” silence filled the room as I watched her, hoping, praying she’d put an end to this fighting and join us. “No. I can’t—I <em>can’t </em>go back to being Sumire.” Trembling as she did so, she struggled to stand and stay upright. “You saw it all for yourself, Ren-senpai. It’s my own fault that my sister’s…” and even behind her mask, I could see the tears flooding her cheeks. Takuto—as a counselor, he should be the one assuring her that whatever happened wasn’t her fault! “Why don’t you understand?! Please, I beg you…”</p><p>Just as I was about to approach her, to take her back with us, to do what Takuto was <em>supposed </em>to do all those months as her counselor, he descended from atop the stairs.</p><p>“I can give you strength,” he reminded Yoshizawa as he walked toward her, carrying about him the aura of a God, “So you don’t have to suffer.” Takuto smiled sheepishly at her, and she turned her back on us. She wanted to retreat into his warmth—I knew that feeling all too well. Even now, my heart ached for it.</p><p>“Doctor…” she uttered under her breath.</p><p>“Tell me: if you want your pain to end, and desire to live as Kasumi,” and though she never outwardly accepted, he went on: “I’ll actualize it!”</p><p>In a cloud of dark smoke, green and black glowing tendrils cropped up from the ground around Takuto, reaching for Yoshizawa. They hoisted her up far above us, where Ren, Akechi and I watched helplessly as a shockwave ran through her body, her pained screams shaking me to my core. She eventually grew limp, her mask shattering into pieces while Cendrillon manifested before us in a red—not blue—flame.</p><p>Akechi took a step back, the now wild Cendrillon staring us down with murderous intent. “Did he—?!”</p><p>“Sadly, she has lost sight of herself—she’s in pain.” He commanded of Yoshizawa’s Persona. “Now, be her guide, and together, escape from the nightmare!”</p><p>Cendrillon held her head, writhing around in agony. “No, I—I can’t! I don’t want to go back to my life in cinders, ever again!” that murderous glare only grew more intense.</p><p>“What the hell…” Akechi scoffed, “This so-called ‘kindness’ of his disgusts me.”</p><p>“Takuto, please!” I yelled for him in a last-ditch effort he’d listen to reason. “Please, stop holding Yoshizawa hostage like this!”</p><p>I was ignored, as the infuriated Cendrillon would soon show the brunt of her wrath. “I refuse to go back!” she hollered, “I’m happy here: <em>this</em> is where I belong!”</p><p>“Let’s do this quick.” Akechi snapped to both of us. We braced ourselves, while Takuto gazed up tenderly at the sleeping Yoshizawa.</p><p>“I’ll rescue you,” he affirmed, a sure smile on his face, “the only way I know how!” with a snap of his fingers, two monsters appeared at Cendrillon’s side. One against three wouldn’t be fair, I suppose…</p><p>“Tch, it’s gone totally berserk…” remarked Akechi, now wielding a dark red sword. “We need to stop her Persona!”</p><p><em>Circe, </em>I spoke to her in my head, <em>how exactly do we do that?</em></p><p>
  <em>Hm? I may be powerful, but I am not an oracle. Still, I will make sure no harm befalls you or your allies.</em>
</p><p>Ren’s Persona—a different one, this time—bestowed us with a newfound strength.</p><p><em>My,</em> Circe’s voice rang out, <em>I feel invigorated! I shall tear your enemies apart! Give me but a moment and I will unleash Tartarus upon her. </em>In that time, my mind was fully clear.</p><p>Akechi was the next to attack, his own Persona, Loki—as he so menacingly declared—casting the same blinding light on Cendrillon and the other enemy as I did but a minute ago. The henchmen of sorts at her side fell to dust as a result.</p><p>Now Cendrillon’s turn, she unleashed an arrow-shaped, gold-and-white colored spell upon the three of us—but I did not feel a thing.</p><p><em>I’m immune to those sorts of ‘bless’ attacks, if you will. </em>She knew I was questioning why I was unharmed by such a powerful-looking strike. <em>Be careful with wind, though.</em></p><p>The same two henchmen appeared at her side once more. Cendrillon moved to devour the one at her right, and the damage she sustained from Akechi’s attack was no more.</p><p>Ren’s next attack was ice-based, sharp, prickly crystals forming around Cendrillon and the remaining henchman. It was wiped out easily.</p><p><em>Go on, now. </em>Circe implored me, her tone markedly coy. <em>Say my name so I may release the will of your rebellion and strength of heart made manifest!</em></p><p>My golden mask erupted into blue flame. “Circe!” I vocalized, and she appeared behind me. The bindings covering her eyes unraveled, and bright white-and-purple roses shot from her hands, the thorns upon them sharper than any blade I’d ever seen before. They wrapped around Cendrillon’s body—almost cartoonishly, it knotted itself in a heart-shaped bow. A dagger then manifested, piercing where Cendrillon’s heart would be. The bindings covered Circe’s eyes once more, and she, as well as the thorns and dagger, disappeared. Yoshizawa’s Persona was in shambles, the glass of her body cracking up.</p><p>I was stunned I held such frightening power—so, too, it appeared, were Ren and Akechi.</p><p>“It seems your barging in here proved to be quite beneficial for us.” Akechi offhandedly said, calling upon his Persona to attack Cendrillon once more, this time with Loki’s blade. “Just don’t make me regret saying that.”</p><p>And yet, just as the berserk Persona before us was about to shatter, Takuto summoned more henchmen for her to devour. She was restored to near perfect health, prompting a groan from Akechi. “Dammit, there’s no end to this! Just what the hell is this thing?!”</p><p>“I refuse to return! I will never go back to being such pathetic, soot-coated garbage!” Cendrillon directly replied, brandishing her demonstrable resoluteness to fight us until we simply couldn’t go on anymore.</p><p>“You can’t tell?” Takuto added on, grimacing. “It’s her refusal to accept the truth.”</p><p>I held Circe back from compelling me to act again. This will get us nowhere. “Takuto, please.” I pleaded with him. “Give us Yoshizawa back so we can end this pointless fighting!”</p><p>“Tch… We can’t afford to waste time on this shit!”</p><p>The ghostly tendrils sent a shockwave through Cendrillon, prompting her to once again writhe around. She screamed and screeched, a blue light growing brighter the more she squirmed about.</p><p>“Here it comes!” Akechi shouted just as she seemed ready to release it all.</p><p>“(Y/N), brace yourself!” Ren said in tandem, raising his arms to cover his head.</p><p>
  <em>I will handle this! </em>
</p><p>But just as I was about to create a barrier from the attack, a young man jumped into the fray, announcing an overly confident, “I don’t think so!” as his Persona shielded us from the laser beams Cendrillon discharged at us.</p><p>“Dammit, Skull, I told you not to rush in by yourself like that!” reprimanded a boyish voice.</p><p>A mature-sounding, feminine voice followed, “At least it seemed to work out in our favor.”</p><p>Ren breathed a sigh of relief as he looked back at his friends—undoubtedly, the Phantom Thieves had come to save us from Cendrillon’s unabashed wrath. “I knew you’d be here.” He smirked.</p><p>“Our apologies for making you wait so long,” said a deeper voice—Kitagawa’s, I believe.</p><p>Okumura’s attention was drawn to us—the newcomers, so to speak. “Is that—?”</p><p>“(L/N)? And Akechi and Doctor Maruki?!” Takamaki exclaimed with widened eyes.</p><p>The little plush-doll looking thing spoke next. What the hell was <em>that?</em></p><p><em>Is now such a time to be asking trivial questions?! Save them for later! </em>Circe admonished my curiosity, going so far as to keep me from vocalizing it.</p><p>“Yoshizawa’s trapped by—” said the doll thing, “Why’s her Persona doing this?! What in the world is going on here?!”</p><p>Sakamoto grunted, his fists clenched at his side. “So much of this shit makes no sense, but we’ll cover it later! We’ve gotta stop her first—right, Joker?”</p><p>“We have to protect her.” Ren, or Joker, affirmed.</p><p>“Alright! Let’s get in formation!” the cat—Morgana, possibly? No, no way—adjured.</p><p>Ren recommended that Sakamoto join the fight, and from a distance, Futaba assuredly spoke. “Okay, guys, leave the navigation to me. Let’s push ‘em back!”</p><p>Takuto was suspended in disbelief. “Unbelievable—why did they come here?”</p><p>With Sakamoto’s pure strength, Circe’s cunning and raw power, alongside Ren and Akechi, we were able to best Cendrillon rather quickly. This fight was inconsequential in comparison to the struggle of the last. As Ren landed the final blow to the Persona, she fell limp, pieces of her glass body shattering and crumbling to the floor.</p><p>“Ah… I can hear them:” she murmured, her fieriness from earlier all but reduced to ash, “the bells of midnight are tolling. Now, my dream... It won’t be—”</p><p>Finally, as Cendrillon disappeared, Yoshizawa was freed from her restraints. Still in her deep slumber, like a sleeping beauty, she dropped to the ground, but Ren was there to cushion her fall. Takuto only watched on in a daze.</p><p>“You’ve all—” it seemed he could not collect his words for a moment. “I can’t believe you’ve thrown away your happiness just to come here and—” he shook his head. “And how? It’s impossible…” his voice trailed off, as he was now introspective.</p><p>“You’re—” Takamaki started, still in her own state of disbelief. “You’re Doctor Maruki, right?”</p><p>Takuto reluctantly sighed. “…That’s right. More importantly, why are—”</p><p>"Dude; what the hell’s Doc doin’ inside a Palace!?” Sakamoto abruptly interrupted, stunned as well.</p><p>I gulped. I did not know what a Palace was, but I at least knew this was his doing—he admitted as much earlier. “This is his, um—I think this is Takuto's 'Palace<em>.</em>'"</p><p>“Wha—?!” Sakamoto reeled back, as did everyone else. Of course, they’d all had pleasant experiences with this man. I did too—and this revelation was just as shocking to me, after all. I’d ended up awakening to my Persona because of it…</p><p>“Not only that, <em>he’s </em>the one who’s generated this whole distorted reality—isn’t that right, Maruki?” Akechi expanded.</p><p>“…All of this was done for your own joy.”</p><p>“Our joy?” Kitagawa repeated to himself, somewhat doubtful.</p><p>“That’s right! I only wanted to grant your wishes: each and every one.”</p><p>Sakamoto snapped back, “Wait, you what? Whaddya mean?! We never wished for anything like—”</p><p>“Is that really true?” Takuto’s tone was unusually low. “No—never mind.” he shook his head before continuing on. “So, you all intend to deny the reality I’ve created for you. If you want to fight me, then so be it. If you plan on changing my heart, that’s fine too.”</p><p>I was infuriated at this man, and yet, all I wanted was to open my arms for him. He was setting himself up as the harbinger of joy, all while being so obviously devoid of happiness himself. Takuto was alone, and now, even more so.</p><p>“But before that—I think there’s still room for discussion here. Also, I believe taking care of Yoshizawa is more important than settling this issue right now.”</p><p>Akechi jeered. “Planning to run again?”</p><p>“We can get back to fighting, if that’s what you really want—but I think you’re rather exhausted at the moment.”</p><p>I shook my head. “No, please—Akechi, and everyone else, let’s just leave.”</p><p>Yoshizawa then stirred, and while we were all preoccupied with checking up on her, Takuto suddenly vanished.</p><p>"…There’s still time.” Takuto’s soft and somber voice rang out on the intercoms of the stadium. “February third. I’ll here your final decision on the third. If your views can’t align with mine by then, we’ll have no other choice but a physical altercation. As much as I would loathe that, I still can’t give up on what I’ve started: what I swore I’d do on the day I lost everything that mattered to me!”</p><p>For a moment, silence. And then: “I’ve lost his reading.” Futaba said.</p><p>“I want to pursue him, but I doubt that’s even possible right now.” Niijima commented, “It looks like we have a new team member, though…”</p><p>“Let’s get outta here. Yoshizawa’s gotta rest, anyway.” Sakamoto suggested, then smiled at me, his aura welcoming. Meanwhile, Ren stood up, carrying Yoshizawa in his arms as she laid her head on his shoulder. “On the way out, we’ll tell you everything. You’re one of us now, aren’t ya?”</p><p>“Oh…” I fiddled with my hands, and only now I realized my outfit. It was white and gold, just as my mask was, and was reminiscent of a priest-witch hybrid. “Of course. If I’m being honest, though, I’d like to save Takuto from himself first and foremost.”</p><p>“It sounds like things didn’t really work out with him…” Takamaki said sympathetically, her hand patting my back. It did feel nice, honestly, to be comforted by her…</p><p>“No, they didn’t. But it’s alright, anyway.” I looked up at the high ceiling as we walked back toward the entrance. “Oh, those monster-nurse-things are gone now.”</p><p>“Yeah, they are. I’m not picking up any readings on ‘em.” Futaba answered, “I think Doc’s holding them back.”</p><p>“That’s likely the case,” said Niijima. “By the way, it <em>might </em>be a little easier to call them what we do: Shadows.” her words were lighthearted.</p><p>"Shadows… Okay, I got that. And then, what’s a Palace? And what, exactly, does it mean that Takuto has one?”</p><p>“A Palace is the manifestation of someone’s distorted desires.” The cat replied, seemingly knowledgeable on this. “It just means that Maruki’s let his desires go overboard, and now he’s gone and created a whole new reality because of it, from what it looks like. I’ve never seen anyone get so distorted before…”</p><p>“So, he needs a change of heart. How do we do that?”</p><p>“We do that by stealing his Treasure: it’s the thing that made him develop his distortions. If we take it out of his Palace, then his Palace collapses, and so does his distortions.”</p><p>Ren spoke quietly, so as to not disturb Yoshizawa. “That’s how we’ve done it every time, all the way since Kamoshida.”</p><p>“So, you all are pretty experienced…” I sighed, scratching my head. “I’ll have some catching up to do. Ah, but one last question: Sakamoto, I heard you call Ren ‘Joker’ a while ago. Is there a reason?”</p><p>“Dude, you don’t gotta worry about catching up. Your Persona’s crazy strong already!”</p><p>
  <em>Tell him thank you for me, hun.</em>
</p><p>My face ran hot. I didn’t know how I felt about Circe now intruding on my every conversation… “Circe says thank you.”</p><p>“Oh, and I think it’s fine if you call us by our first names, now that we’re a team!” Takamaki—Ann—smiled reassuringly.</p><p>Yusuke nodded. “In the Metaverse, we use codenames so as to conceal our identities. I don’t see much of a point of it now, though, seeing as how Doctor Maruki already knows who we are—but, for formalities sake, why don’t we give you a codename as well?”</p><p>“Well, you got those antlers…” Ryuji noted, examining my costume. “How ‘bout Deer?”</p><p>“I don’t know how I feel about you all calling me ‘Deer’. There’s a word in English, ‘dear,’ that’s a term of endearment.” I murmured, feeling a little guilty for turning down a suggestion like that.</p><p>“If you want to base it off the antlers,” Makoto began, hand stroking her chin in thought as we just now reached the exit of Takuto’s Palace, “why not something like ‘Gazelle?’”</p><p>
  <em>Ooh, I like Gazelle. You should go with it. </em>
</p><p>“I like Gazelle.” I echoed Circe’s recommendation, but in truth, I really did like the name. There was a certain elegance to it.</p><p>“Then, from now on, you’ll be Gazelle.” Haru happily stated, “Oh, and outside of here, you’ll be (Y/N), our good friend. This is where we part ways, though—how about we reconvene in a few days, when Yoshizawa’s feeling better?”</p><p>“I like the sound of that.” Ann agreed.</p><p>Akechi, who lagged behind the group and stayed silent for some time now, finally spoke up. “I’ll continue my research on Maruki, too, then.”</p><p>“We typically communicate through SMS on our phones—can we contact you that way?” Yusuke asked politely.</p><p>I nodded approvingly. “Ren has my number. It’s a group chat, I’m guessing? You can add me in whenever.” I bit my lip, suddenly remembering my promise to Hayato. “I have to go, um—take care of something now, though. Please, let me know when you’re going back here again. I need to be there.”</p><p>“We understand.” The cat chimed.</p><p>I paused in my tracks, that mystery still remaining unsolved. “Wait—you’re Morgana, right? The cat Ren always carries around with him?”</p><p>“Yeah…” Morgana sighed, “Yeah, that’s me.”</p><p>“Anyway, we’ll see you later.” Ren remarked, seeing me off with his oh-so charming smile. “Morgana and I’ll make sure Sumire gets home safe.”</p><p>And so the Phantom Thieves of Hearts and I parted ways, where I headed back to my apartment. I had no way of knowing where Hayato was staying, and it was surely rude—not to mention send the wrong message—to show up to his temporary place of residence this late into the evening.</p><p>Instead, I messaged him, inviting him to a phone call: <em>Hey, Hayato. Free to call? I’ve made up my mind and don’t want to say it over text, if possible.</em></p><p>Circe retreated further and further into my psyche as I drew more distance from Takuto’s Palace, but I still felt her faint presence in Yongen as I laid in my futon. Maybe she, I affirmed, was the one who pushed me to Takuto’s own apartment when I’d been too nervous to walk there at first. Maybe she, furthermore, brought my memories of Takuto back into the limelight. And maybe she was the unforeseen force that urged my body to head to Odaiba instead of to a fruitless mission to Ogikubo. She was always there, giving me strength…and I only wished I could call upon her now to thank her for it. Without her nudging me in the right direction—without facing my true self, and my true inner feelings—I knew telling Hayato the truth would be far too daunting a task for me. I’d relegate the responsibility to a simple text message—perhaps even just a simple block to do the trick.</p><p><em>yeah i can call. </em>He replied.</p><p>The phone barely rang before he picked up. He was eager, fully expecting a yes—and I didn’t blame him. Though this reality only lived a meager week, it already conditioned people to only ever anticipate good news. This, I hoped, could wake him up to the reality of things too—and he’d go back to where he belongs: in Iwatodai, with someone who <em>should</em> still be his partner.</p><p>“Hello? (Y/N), I’m so happy to hear from you!” exclaimed Hayato. It would hurt to let down such an excited man, but I knew these weren’t his true feelings.</p><p>“Yeah…I’m glad I got to see you again, Hayato. It’s been way too long.”</p><p>“Right?! God, I was such an idiot for not following you to Tokyo! I’ve had so much fun here, and it’s only been a few hours!”</p><p>I paused, taking a deep, contemplative breath. “Listen, Hayato, um—I think you should go back to Iwatodai and make up with your significant other.”</p><p>“What..?” I could practically hear the color drain from his face. I kept telling myself that these were not his real feelings. He loves his partner. He hates the big city. “What do you mean? I told you, I only love you, and—”</p><p>“You don’t. I want you to go back and face reality. Do it for me, please?” I pleaded with him, the grip on my phone tightening. “And besides, I—I love someone else.” Hearing my repeat, and further, assert my love for Takuto was like a spit in the face on this reality. I loved and relished in it. I wanted to repeat it over and over: I love Takuto, I love Takuto Maruki. I love him, truly and unabashedly, with all my heart. I could feel Circe cheering on my proclamation of love from her distance.</p><p>Hayato was silent on the other end for only a moment, until he replaced the quietness with a sheepish chuckle. “I see. Maybe I should take your advice then…”</p><p>I smiled tenderly, the fingers on my free hand tapping idly against the fabric of my bedsheets. “I’m happy you’re so willing to do that for me.”</p><p>Hayato hummed, “Mhm,” though he was obviously straining himself, “Hey, (Y/N), um—you know that guy you love? He’s the luckiest man in the world; you better remind him of that.”</p><p>I only laughed in response. “Sure. He’ll come to realize that on his own eventually.”</p><p>“Yeah…” he absentmindedly replied, “Well, then. Take care.”</p><p>“Mm. You too, Hayato.”</p><p>I set my phone down on the floor next to me, drawing the sheets over my body as I stared up at my ceiling, my mind flooded with thoughts—and, for once, they weren’t doubts. I was so sure of myself, for the first time in my life. That pain I felt when awakening to my Persona—was that torture symbolic of the courage it took to cast away such human behaviors such as worries, doubts, and uncertainties?  </p><p>I was ready to fall asleep—truly, I was exhausted like I’d never been before, but the adrenaline powered me through that call with Hayato. Before that however: a little experiment never hurt anyone.</p><p>“Takuto, if you can hear this, I’m going to say this directly to you for the first time: I love you. I love you, and I’m going to make <em>damn</em> sure to save you before you destroy yourself.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>and so the third semester begins :') i literally wrote this all in one day...da brainworms really took over<br/>anyway im really sleepy and have to get up for work in 4 hours so i hope u dont mind the typos teehee &lt;3 </p><p> </p><p>  <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25741090">find circe and reader-san's ref sheet here!</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. you are being too reckless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh hey, haven't seen you in a while B)<br/>i wrote this purely because takuto brainworms took over again. this was written over the span of four hours. it's pretty rushed but i think im just gonna write now polish later cuz i've had the ideas for these scenes festering in my brain for MONTHS n i just GOTTA get it out already man!! i hope u enjoy ;w;</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I made a habit of frequenting Odaiba. Though I took care to keep away from Takuto’s Palace, I enjoyed Circe’s presence, which was stronger in that area. From the surface looking in, I’m sure it was a pitiful sight: me, confiding in my Persona, as I truly didn’t have anyone else who could fully understand my predicament. There was Ren and his friends, who were always so kind and welcomed me into their group with open arms; in actuality, their goals for taking Takuto on were wholly different from mine own. I sought to bring him back from his pedestal before he harmed himself in whatever way he could with his actualization powers—they, on the other hand, only wanted their own reality back. They wanted to choose their futures and fates for themselves; it was admirable indeed, and maybe I wanted the same thing. I could only think of Takuto, though: how he must be toiling away in his Palace, day-in and day-out, with little to no sleep, no eating, and no breaks. He looked more tired than I’d ever seen him, even at the peak of his time spent working on his paper. His eyes sunken, his face thinner, his movements stalled—he was killing himself for the sake of everyone else.</p><p>Circe would be there to assure me our plan would come to fruition. She explained a few basic things about this world, and how to use our power in the best way possible. I had a lance at my side, and she taught me how to swing it properly. I had a gun—not a real one, she warned—she taught me how to shoot it without hurting myself in the process. She showed me proper footwork, how to maximize damage so I wouldn’t be deadweight to the more experienced team, and she praised me for how quickly I caught on to her teachings: <em>Takuto would be proud of you for coming so far in such a short period of time, my child. </em>And it invigorated me—I was confident she’d known I’d be empowered by those words. She eventually brought me to Mementos in Shibuya, where I used her instructions on the various weaker Shadows. It was a taxing effort, especially without a navigator, but Circe and I managed. I was certain that without her knowledge on herbs and their medicinal uses, I would not have survived.</p><p>I did all this training without the Phantom Thieves’ knowledge; as we were waiting for Sumire to recover, I was restless. Countless times, I thought to go back into his Palace myself, but if my ventures into Mementos were of any indication, I could not do it alone. It took weeks of daily meetings at Leblanc, of calling Sumire on the phone to check up on her condition before she decided she was finally ready. Sure, I was impatient, but I completely understood why Sumire was so hesitant about going back. That place revealed all her deepest and darkest secrets—one that she repressed from herself so heavily, in fact, that she willingly took on Kasumi’s name. It was a painful realization, one that took tremendous heart to face (and to keep on facing) by infiltrating the Palace again.</p><p>Just a few days before Takuto’s deadline, while Ren, his friends, and I were chatting in Leblanc, Sumire walked through the doors, the chime of her entrance cutting through our conversation like a knife. She hung her head low, the air of guilt around her tangible and weighing her down, but she was in front of us, nonetheless. I didn’t know if Cendrillon spoke to her like Circe did me—but maybe it was Cendrillon who subtly encouraged her to come here.</p><p>“Sumire!” Ann called out, starting to her to make sure she was steady. “Are you alright?”</p><p>Sumire nodded. “Mm, I’m okay. I apologize for taking so long, but I think I’m ready now.”</p><p>Makoto, who sat next to me in one of the booths, was in a bit of a daze. “A-Are you sure? There’s no rush, you know. We still have plenty of time.”</p><p>"I don’t want to stall this any longer,” she insisted, “If everyone is free today, can we go?”</p><p>“I’m okay with that.” I quickly replied, and everyone agreed as well. We took off to Odaiba, where Sumire stayed close to Ren’s side. Akechi did as well, straying himself from the rest of the group. I felt most comfortable at Ann’s side, who, along with Haru, encouraged me, little by little, and in their own special ways.</p><p>“Your Persona,” Ann began as she took her seat next to me on the train, “Circe? She’s <em>really </em>cool—she reminds me of Celestine!”</p><p>Yusuke leaned slightly forward in his seat, chin resting on his hand. “Ah, your Personas are quite aesthetically pleasing.” He closed his eyes, satisfied. “I sense overwhelming passion from them—it’s inspiring.”</p><p> "Aside from that, they’re both femme fatales…” Makoto chimed in from across the aisle, bemused.</p><p> Ryuji, who stood over Ann, smirked. “Ann’s got a thing for badass girls.”</p><p> It was true, and yet, Ann puffed up her cheeks simply because it was Ryuji saying it. “Whatever, you moron.”</p><p> A heartwarming moment: the calm before the storm.</p><p> We arrived at Takuto’s Palace only a few minutes later. Circe reappeared in my consciousness, letting out a relieved sigh as she did. <em>They’re going to figure out you trained alone, you know. Will they consider it betrayal, or applaud your initiative? </em></p><p>Beginner’s luck can be one hell of an excuse.</p><p>Ren asked us all to wait in front of the Palace’s entrance before we entered. It seemed this was normal for him, to stand in a daze just outside of a Palace, where nothing will break his dreamlike trance. It was beyond creepy to watch him stand still like that, like a statue, or a Shadow lying in wait.</p><p>With my lance faced blade-down, I used it to steady my balance as I gazed at Takuto’s Palace, awaiting Ren’s return. Here was the manifestation of Takuto’s desires, desires which brewed and grew wildly out of control right in front of me, and I never noticed.</p><p><em>You did notice,</em> Circe quickly interjected, <em>and you were too afraid to voice your mind at the time. </em></p><p>She was right: I lacked the lion’s heart I possess now.</p><p>I spoke back to her, eyes focused straight ahead: <em>I’d like to come back here, alone, after we’ve secured a route to his Treasure. </em></p><p><em>Why tell me, my child? </em>Her mischievous laugh boomed within my psyche. <em>I know already what you desire. </em></p><p>
  <em>Will you grant me the strength to venture through his Palace alone?</em>
</p><p>There was a pause before she spoke again, her voice soft, soothing. <em>I would not let you down now. Learn as much as you can from the others. Grow. I will become stronger as you do. </em></p><p>And I would not let Circe down.</p><p>Ren returned shortly thereafter, now bearing a trident—seemingly out of thin air. At the middle prong was a piercer, spiked and sharp; it appeared to be made out of coral but was rock solid. He approached me with it, eyes behind the mask piercing me harder than the trident could possibly pierce my enemy. “This is for you.”</p><p>“For me?” I repeated, uncertain as I hesitantly took hold of the trident. “What do I do with my lance?”</p><p>“Just leave it somewhere out here or something.” Ren shrugged, “The one I gave you is way stronger.”</p><p>“O-Oh—alright, then. Thanks, Joker.”</p><p>He nodded, then called upon the rest of the group: infiltration could now begin. It seemed I was going to be on the front lines with Joker, alongside Crow and Violet.</p><p><em>That trident—do you know what it is? </em>Circe asked, evidently stunned.</p><p><em>No, </em>I replied, <em>no, of course I don’t.</em></p><p>
  <em>It is Trygon’s tail. I fought tooth and nail for it to protect my son—how was your friend able to get ahold of it?! </em>
</p><p>It was the tail of a creature older than a Titan, and that tail had poison so potent it could kill a God. Joker had manifested it out of thin air, and here I was, wielding the very same weapon—it took care of Shadows with ease, as it turned out.</p><p>As we traversed further into Takuto’s Palace, we came across the first roadblock. And the key to that roadblock: I learned of Rumi.</p><p>His lover, whom he sacrificed his life with, in pursuit of her own happiness in blissful ignorance. Of course, I was heartbroken. I was jealous, enraged, I gripped my weapon so hard I was sure it would snap in two. I simply could not bear to look at this memory of his for any longer, and yet, I heard the pain in his voice when she did not remember him. Rumi died, he said to her—but she did not die in his heart. No, looking back now, it’s painfully obvious he never moved on. Takuto is not a stupid man. He knew I loved him. He knows I continue to now—and he could not grant me the wish I truly desired for a very obvious reason.</p><p>
  <em>This does not sway you, does it, my child? </em>
</p><p>I shut my eyes, forcing the lump forming in my throat down as far as it could go. <em>No. It does not. </em></p><p>
  <em>Good. Continue to fight for your desire. It will guide you well. </em>
</p><p>Glimpses of Rumi were present throughout his Palace: from his scattered notes to his memories played back to us on VHS tapes. Towards the end of our venture was the Twilight Corridor, which was adorned with golden statues of his lover, revered as though she were a goddess. I kept my head down, letting Joker, Queen, and Crow figure out how to get from point A to point B on their own. I did not speak unless spoken to. Panther, of course, would rub my back. Oracle would try to get me to laugh—she succeeded quite a few times. Though grateful for their concern, I didn’t want to be the subject of such pity. I had resolve. I did not give up despite my shattered heart. I could not let Circe down. My plan to secretly see Takuto for myself was still in effect. They underestimated just how driven I was to my goal: whether or not Takuto came out wanting to date me was never what I wanted—he needs a change of heart, to save himself. The calling card was to be sent tonight.</p><p>And so, hours after we’d disbanded after reaching the Cognitive Garden of Eden, Ren alerted the group that he’d given the calling card to Takuto. Tomorrow morning, we’d be facing him directly, where a fight would be unavoidable. I wanted to go back to Odaiba tonight—Circe insisted she needed the rest, otherwise we would not survive alone. The night was restless, but before I knew it, it was early morning. The sun barely poked out of the horizon as I made my way to Odaiba. Circe’s presence grew stronger as we passed each stop, until eventually I was once again standing outside the center of melancholy.</p><p><em>Gods, </em>Circe sighed, <em>he’s placed far more Shadows just near the entrance than was there before…</em></p><p>“Circe, we’re going to do this.” I reaffirmed, a booming confidence in my voice—though my heartbeat was wild. “We don’t have much time left.”</p><p><em>I never said to retreat! </em>She snapped back, almost as though she were offended. <em>There is only so much I can do, however. For your part, you must be vigilant and not engage with more Shadows than you can handle!</em></p><p>“I’ll do my best.” And with shallow breaths, I entered the Palace. It was teeming with Shadows, and most fights with them were unavoidable. I was not as good with stealth as Joker is, having so little practice with it—and with the Shadows themselves being seemingly more precarious, I was ambushed constantly.</p><p>Still, I pressed on.</p><p>One of the Shadows in the Twilight Corridor ambushed me, and soon, more Shadows joined it. It was an endless stream of them, and where they were plentiful, my stamina quickly drained. Each time I attacked, I caught glimpse of my blood-stained gloves, the golden sheer of them quickly turning a deep crimson as I bled, more and more. The foes finally defeated; I dragged my trident behind me</p><p>
  <em>My child, you are getting reckless! You must rest!</em>
</p><p>But I was so close. He was just within grasp, only an arm’s length away from me.</p><p>
  <em>Your desperation will kill you. You will not see to it your goal is accomplished.</em>
</p><p>Still, I pressed on. He was just hallway away.</p><p>My legs could barely carry me to the Shadow lying in wait at the end of the corridor. There were gaps in my vision as I drew closer to it, my breathing heavy, the screech of the trident scraping across the spotless floor drowned out by the ringing in my ears. The blood in my mouth tasted metallic, too.</p><p>
  <em>What an absolute fool you are! </em>
</p><p>I did not have the strength to reply. The Shadow transformed into a Fafnir.</p><p>
  <em>Your impatience was your demise. This is out of my hands. </em>
</p><p>I attempted to raise my trident at the creature, but my legs gave in, and I fell to the floor. The tile upon my face was cold and soothing, and I wanted to retreat further into it. If I shut my eyes now, I could dream of Takuto’s smiling face, his warm hand atop mine once more, and give myself up peacefully against this cool tile floor.</p><p>Reality, even Takuto’s reality, was not so merciful to me. The Fafnir picked me up as if I were its ragdoll, its grip around my body bone-crushing. I could barely hear Circe anymore—instead, its deep and unpleasant voice shook me to my core, with whatever consciousness I had left in me.</p><p>“YOU WERE A FOOL TO THINK YOU COULD STOP THE MASTER’S PLANS.”</p><p>I suppose I was… I was a fool for many things, far before I’d ever set foot in this place.</p><p>“THE MASTER WILL BE SUCCESSFUL. I WILL NOT LET ANYONE STOP HIM.”</p><p>As it tightened its grip, its claws dug into my skin, tearing the fabric of my clothes open, and created new gashes. I gasped for breath, my lungs crying desperately from more air, denied by the Fafnir’s hold on me. And as I grew lightheaded from the blood loss, I called his name. Would he hear my plea? Would Takuto truly allow me to die for the sake of his reality?</p><p>“Taku—to…” it came out raspy and nearly silent. I’d used the last of my oxygen just to say his name.</p><p>“DO NOT BEG FOR THE MASTER’S MERCY NOW.”</p><p>To be betrayed like this—the pain was too much for me to bear, even now, as I was bruised and beaten, bleeding out, unable to breathe, losing consciousness. I begged for salvation, whether that be by Fafnir’s crushing fist, or Takuto’s warm embrace. Salvation was merciful, however—and it seemed by trespassing here, I could not be given mercy.</p><p>But salvation did indeed arrive.</p><p>· · ·</p><p>When I awoke, I was in a place unfamiliar to me. The air was still heavy with sorrow, though this room in particular felt strangely serene. I turned my head just slightly, and I met eyes with Takuto as he stood above me. He appeared stunned and wracked with guilt, but not a moment later, he knelt down, his own eyes still wide. “You…” Takuto started, his voice wavering and unsteady, “Why are you here alone?”</p><p>I stared at him, unable to form any sort of answer.</p><p>Takuto formally sat down in front of me, still looking shaken up. “I’m sorry, (Y/N). I’m so, so sorry. Truly, I didn’t know you’d come here alone. I never thought—”</p><p>“I’m fine.” I sat straight, wincing heavily as I did, however. My gloves were dried, but still stained deep red. The gashes at the sides of my body seemed to have clotted up, too.</p><p>“You are not fine at all!” Takuto angrily exclaimed, jumping as I stood up. “What were you thinking?! How could you be so reckless?!”</p><p>“I wanted to speak with you.”</p><p>“You wanted to speak with me so badly you nearly died in the process?!” Takuto was speaking much faster than his mouth could keep up. “Do you honestly think I don’t care for your wellbeing? I—” he pushed his glasses up with one hand and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his other arm. “I am set on my goal, yes…but I could not bear to have you die because of it.”</p><p>I smirked—though maybe that was inappropriate in this situation. “You underestimate me.”</p><p>“Fafnir would have snapped you in two if I didn’t step in!” Takuto snapped back.</p><p>He makes a good point there… “I’m here now, though. And I need to talk to you about all this.”</p><p>Takuto let out an exasperated sigh as he appeared deep in thought. After a moment of silence, he spoke again, his voice gentle once more. “(Y/N), I understand. It was unfair of me to leave you in the dark for so long. I completely recognize that, but—”</p><p>“But?” I interrupted doubtfully, raising an eyebrow at him.</p><p>“<em>But </em>you’re in no shape to talk right now. Will you at least allow me to tend to your wounds? After that, I promise to hear out everything you have to say.”</p><p>Upon one more quick gaze at my hand, I was skeptical. “Is there much you can do? I mean, my clothes are all torn up.”</p><p>Now, Takuto giggled as he took hold of my arm, prompting me to grimace from the sharp pain which shot up my body. “Ah, you underestimate me.” His smile was sad as he whispered under his breath. “Come, Azathoth.”</p><p>The ground rumbled, and suddenly, we were surrounded by bluish-black tentacles. They were exactly like what took control of Cendrillon, and they were quickly closing in on us. “What—what are you gonna do?!” I wanted to run out of its grasp, but with Takuto still holding onto me, I was stuck in place.</p><p>“Oh! Azathoth, hold.” And the entity followed his command. “Please, don’t be alarmed—Azathoth is my Persona. I’m not at all trying to harm you.”</p><p>His reassurance eased me, sure, but… “Okay. Fine.”</p><p>Takuto’s eyes softened. “Please heal them, Azathoth.” He stepped away, and Azathoth’s tendrils slowly took hold of me. I braced myself for something cold and slimy, but in truth—they were warm and soft. The tendrils wrapped around my body, and as it slithered to other parts, it left behind scarless skin and fresh, clean clothes. Even the attention to detail on my thief’s outfit was spot on. One tentacle sprung up from the ground, as if to offer me a hand up, and I took it. From underneath me, another tendril pushed me up, while the one I grabbed onto equally pulled on me. It felt as though I were floating for a brief moment. My muscles were no longer sore, my joints no longer ached, and all the wounds I’d gained throughout the day were gone. I also sensed Circe’s presence returning.</p><p>“Wow…” I said, breathlessly. “I feel like a brand-new person.”</p><p>Takuto huffed, his pout still as cute as I remembered it. “You shouldn’t have been so reckless in the first place. If you wanted to talk like this, all you had to do was tell me.”</p><p>“You’re one to talk about reckless, Takuto.” I said, wholly amused, “You’re the one who filled the whole damn place up with all these Shadows. And I didn’t know if you’d even want to talk anyway!”</p><p>He sounded as though he just choked on his breath. “Ah—well, you’re right about that…”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>“You’ve always been one to catch me slipping up.”</p><p>“I’m surprised you never saw that as annoying or anything.”</p><p>Takuto quickly shook his head. “No, no, I could never! It’s hard to describe how grateful I am for you.”</p><p>I crossed my arms, looking off to the side, troubled. “Did I contribute to this? I mean, helping you with your research—this is what I was doing it for?”</p><p>Suddenly, Takuto’s expression turned grim, the color draining from his face. “You’ve been through my Palace. You’ve seen everything about me, even things I buried deep within my heart. You should know the answer to that already.”</p><p>“Yes. I did.” Finally, I allowed myself to look him in the eye again. He was timid, his eyes tender as he stared back at me. “But you saw into mine, too.”</p><p>“Yes.” Takuto said just under his breath. “I did.”</p><p>“And you knew even before you got this power that I have feelings for you.”</p><p>“Yes.” He repeated, even quieter this time. “Of course, I knew. I heard you tell me you love me over the phone that one night.”</p><p>That revelation, surprisingly, did not stir up a grand reaction within me. “Ah,” I said, mostly to myself, thinking aloud. “So, you did end up hearing that.”</p><p>No answer from the man before me—instead, just a slight nod of his head.</p><p>The silence between us was jarring. He was physically right in front of me, but emotionally, we were kilometers away. “I—I still love you, Takuto. Confronting you with Ren and his friends later is going to hurt me in ways I’d never thought were possible.”</p><p>Takuto recoiled as I officially confessed my unwavering love for him. I could readily tell he was trying not to be too obvious about it. “I don’t want to fight you either. I wish there were some way for you to accept the reality I’ve made for you, and—”</p><p>I immediately interrupted: “Enough of that talk: we’ve sent the calling card. We’re set on changing your heart.”</p><p>Takuto’s shoulders dropped in defeat, “It was worth a shot, at least.” His body tensed up again, opening his mouth, but did not speak until a moment later. “When I awakened to Azathoth, you were the first person I thought of. I knew of your feelings for me, but I thought: ‘if there were some other dream they’d aspired towards, I’ll actualize it, and they’ll forget all about me.’” That was completely unsurprising. “I found that you do have other dreams—but there are none you want more than to spend your life with me.”</p><p>He was right. Ever since he’d entered my life, my world revolved solely around him. But, even with Azathoth’s help, he couldn’t fully understand the nuances of my dream. I let out a muffled chuckle, much to Takuto’s confusion. “It’s true, to an extent. I love you, so of course I’d want to spend my life with you; but that’s not my biggest dream. It’s that you’d live healthy and happy, and that I’d stay in your life in some way, shape, or form—whether that be lover, friend, or person you occasionally bump into at Big Bang Burger, or Leblanc, or Book Town, or a summer festival in Odaiba…”</p><p>Takuto stared at me, wide eyed. “I-I see…” he stuttered, pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “I can still actualize that for you.”</p><p>“Even if you did,” I replied with no hesitation, “and even if it’s exactly what I dreamed of—it would be selfish to my friends, who clearly want to choose and earn their futures for themselves.”</p><p>“I understand. I should probably stop trying to convince you otherwise, huh?” he said outwardly lightheartedly, but I sensed his deep desperation and defeat leaking through.</p><p>I nodded.</p><p>His tone now much more serious: “Perhaps I still could, in some way, convince you that I’m not worth the unconditional love you have for me.”  </p><p>“What?” I was taken aback by this sudden shift. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“I’m not worth it when there are so many complete people willing to give you all their love. (Y/N), you are so worthy of love and happiness. It’s why I brought Matsuda to you. He’s a complete man, willing to give you complete love.”</p><p>“Takuto…” I clenched my jaw as my body flushed hot. “I don’t get to choose who I fall in love with—and I can’t just choose to stop loving you either!”</p><p>“You’ve seen me, though; you’ve seen how broken I truly am. A broken man’s love is—"</p><p>My temper sparked at that, and without thinking, I closed the physical gap between us.</p><p>“Wha—(Y/N)?”</p><p>My face was buried in the warmth of his chest, where I was relieved at the steady sound of his heartbeat. To know his heart still beat, as silly and ridiculous and irrational as that fear was, relieved me beyond words. My arms wrapped tightly around his body, my embrace of him strong, yet soft. The room felt warmer somehow, our future written on the walls of this expansive room seemingly less bleak, simply as a result of this hug. I remained silent, admittedly indulging in the comfort of laying my head on his chest, though he did not hug me back.</p><p>“Oh…” and Takuto still did not embrace me back. “Um—uh…” his arms lay flat at his sides, and I refused to let go. “It’s been so long—so long since I’ve been held like this. I’d forgotten what it felt like. Thank you…” his voice trailed off, and he did not hug me.</p><p>“You don’t need to thank me, Takuto.” I mumbled into his pure white suit, no doubt staining it with my oncoming tears. “You’ve changed my life for the better. Thank you for finding me…”</p><p>“I can feel how warm you are, (Y/N)…” He murmured, his voice soft, almost fragile, like it would shatter at any second. “My research—it’s my reason for living, the reason why a man named Takuto Maruki could live on, so long as he reached his goal in the end, no matter how he did it. And it was so difficult to find any other reason to continue on, even as everything was taken away from me…”</p><p>I had no idea this burden weighed so heavily on his shoulders. I held him tighter, closer, even as he did not hug me back.</p><p>“And then, you came into my life, and—” he cut himself off, and finally, he touched me. A slight stroke of my hair, a gesture so simple, and so warm. “If I get the chance to love again, I—I want to be a complete man.” He allowed himself to sink into my embrace. “And love someone without hurting them or myself in the process…”</p><p>“The chance to love again..?” I echoed, but he only gently pulled away from the hug, and pretended as though he never said anything about love. The absence of our closeness brought a chill back to the room.</p><p>“Um—excuse me. I got a bit emotional there.” He fiddled with his hands again, “I’m so close to what I’ve worked so hard for. I’m not going to give up now.”</p><p>“I know, I know.” I wanted so intensely to reach out and feel his chest pressed up against mine again. “I don’t blame you at all, Takuto…”</p><p>Takuto flashed me a sad smile, knowing our time alone together was drawing to a close. “The Phantom Thieves are on their way here as we speak. Do you want me to escort you back to the entrance?” Azathoth suddenly appeared behind him, holding my trident which I dropped earlier. “Don’t forget this either, (Y/N).”</p><p>I took the weapon back, attaching it to my back. “Thanks.” I started, “And an escort back sounds nice, if that means no Shadows will attack me… Circe’s probably gonna fume at me when I’m on my own again.”</p><p>“Mhm,” Takuto hummed. “No problem. No Shadows will attack us. Follow me, we’ll take the short way around.”</p><p>I followed him in stillness, neither of us saying a word to each other until we reached the entrance—the walk only ended up being a few minutes long, and skipped rooms like the Twilight Corridor and the exam halls completely. He stood at the front doors, while I walked further out of the building.</p><p>“Well then, (Y/N),” he waved somberly at me once I turned back towards him. “I’ll see you in a bit.”</p><p>“Yeah,” I responded, giving an equally somber wave back at him. “I’ll see you real soon, Takuto.”</p>
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